# Please Help Me Annoy My Daughter **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 28, 2008, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935 "2008-05-28T21:09:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tds1273](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df705f/32.png) [@tds1273](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tds1273)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/21 "2008-05-28T23:56:04Z")
Why not let Big L [“break this slang shit down”](http://lyrics.rare-lyrics.com/B/Big-L/Ebonics.html) > [@](#): > > Cars is whips and sneakers is kicks > Money is chips, movies is flicks > Also, cribs is homes, jacks is pay phones ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/22 "2008-05-28T23:57:42Z")
Answers in the affirmative should be provided in the format of “Fo’ sho’” or, if you’re feeling fancy, “fo’ shizzle, my nizzle”. You can also alternate these with “moz def”. Also, substitute “shorty” and “boo” for your regular terms of endearment. **Salem** , if I ever have kids, you’ll totally be my role model. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/23 "2008-05-29T00:10:23Z")
After getting the roll-eyes from my daughter when she was about that age, I waited until she had her boyfriend over for dinner. I ate my food deliberately quickly, then gave her the sad puppy eyes and asked if she was going to eat all of hers. Thinking to head off my act, she quickly replied with an exasperated “Yes, Dad, I am.” My reply: “Well, can I lick your lips when you’re finished?” I’m still getting major props from my boys 20 years later. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/24 "2008-05-29T00:49:28Z")
You need to learn the shakin it dance! The next time you are listening to the radio spread your legs about shoulder width apart, lean forward so you are sticking out your ass, and then quickly shake your booty back and forth. Sure, it is mostly done by chicks but that will make it even more embarrassing. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/25 "2008-05-29T00:58:35Z")
[QUOTE=pbbth] You need to learn the shakin it dance! The next time you are listening to the radio spread your legs about shoulder width apart, lean forward so you are sticking out your ass, and then quickly shake your booty back and forth. Sure, it is mostly done by chicks but that will make it even more embarrassing. [/QUOTE] [Whoop! Dere It Is!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfPihzrsDt8). ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/26 "2008-05-29T01:05:43Z")
Tell people you like Justin Timberlake, (JT) better when he was in the Backstreet Boys. But regardless, none of her friends’ Dads are cool enough to waterboard themselves to decide where they stand on the issue. ---
**Author:** ![Martha\_Medea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@Martha\_Medea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martha_Medea)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/27 "2008-05-29T01:10:18Z")
This thread evoked a vivid memory of my teenage self rolling my eyes as my 40-something Dad (a mere stripling, I now realise) launched into Let’s Twist Again (from his youth) complete with all the movements, or even worse, his version of Another One Bites the Dust (a contemporary hit). In front of my friends. Oh, the pain. Teenage children are our parents’ revenge for everything we put them through. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/28 "2008-05-29T01:12:23Z")
[QUOTE=ZipperJJ] When you disagree, flash her the “whatever” sign (make a W with your left and right thumbs and index fingers) [/QUOTE] \*That’s \* what that is? I had no idea. I’m 27, you’d think I’d be a little less out of touch. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/29 "2008-05-29T02:00:56Z")
I’m wearing a pair of not-really-Crocs right now, and they have Velcro straps. Are they not cool anymore? You could go out and find the hippest, most stylin’ pair of footwear anyone ever had. Wear them all the time. With Bermuda shorts and a dark socks. Grow a soul patch, shave your head and get a small earring. Tell her you think her best friend’s mother is a real MILF. And that your wife agrees. Or, go completely the other way. Wear a leisure suit, a man-perm and sprinkle your conversation with ‘70s slang. Nothin’ like saying “10-4 good buddy” a few times to have the entire car pool squirming. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/30 "2008-05-29T02:10:12Z")
The next time you agree with something she says, respond “true dat.” Should piss her off. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/31 "2008-05-29T02:15:58Z")
You could always do what my father did. Sing show tunes. Loudly. In public. And then ask any male even marginally within my demographic group to join him on the choruses. If you do not know showtunes, you may substitute the score from “Paint Your Wagon”. You get extra bonus points if you pause in the middle of songs to explain how they fit into the storyline. Double word score if you manage to work in a comment about how your daughter, \, absolutely loves this song. My father still does this crap. Although only when meeting new friends of mine. He claims to be keeping in practice for his grandchildren, who are almost old enough to be embarassed by a showtune-singing grandpa. ---
**Author:** ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/32 "2008-05-29T02:19:10Z")
The key is to use slang in a…mmm, not deadpan way…how can i explain it? Try to sound like a linguistics professor. “Please excuse my faux pas. I did not realize my ways were in error. I’d appreciate it if you did not get up in my grille about it.” ---
**Author:** ![beanpod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9adbd/32.png) [@beanpod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beanpod)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/33 "2008-05-29T02:24:27Z")
My dad dances along and sings to horribly embarrassing songs. It works equally well for public or private embarrassment, and I endured it from the age of 14 to the age of 18, when I made my escape. As luck would have it, Another One Bites the Dust is a favorite. It works well. (Also, he used Weird Al’s version of Michael Jackson’s “Bad.” That’s particularly horrible.) Nothing brings pain to a teenage girl’s heart like the image of her father boogyin’ down the hall singing, “Sha-MON! Ya Know! Ya KNOW-ah!” Also, preface all announcements made to her with “Yo yo yo! Yo, yo, check it…” ---
**Author:** ![beanpod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9adbd/32.png) [@beanpod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beanpod)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/34 "2008-05-29T03:02:51Z")
Oh, something else uncool for you. (I remembered because I just did this uncool thing in another thread.) [Represent.](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=represent) As in “Class of XX, Represent!” or “[Hometown], Represent!” or, and I borrow this example courtesy of Urban Dictionary: > [@](#): > > Dad: Your Mom wants you to square up this joint, yo. > Kid: So you want me to clean my room? > Dad: Dat would be da hizzy. > Kid: O.K. > Dad: Represent. ---
**Author:** ![ShermanAter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ShermanAter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShermanAter)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/35 "2008-05-29T03:17:16Z")
Next time she says “hello” or “how you doin’?” answer with “What it be like?” or my favorite “What it do?” she’ll enjoy that. Footwear should always be referred to as “kix” As is “How you like these fresh kix, yo?” ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/36 "2008-05-29T04:28:30Z")
Address everyone as “dawg”. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgonzola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e480ec/32.png) [@Gorgonzola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgonzola)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/37 "2008-05-29T05:09:29Z")
[QUOTE=mswas] But regardless, none of her friends’ Dads are cool enough to waterboard themselves to decide where they stand on the issue. [/QUOTE] That was **Scylla**. At our house, saying I have “silky skillz” as opposed to just plain “skillz” is guaranteed to send our 10 yo up the wall. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/38 "2008-05-29T05:12:07Z")
Use “late” in place of “later” or “bye”. Drives me fuckin’ crazy, and it’s people my age who are doin’ it. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/39 "2008-05-29T05:12:27Z")
This thread is hilarious! ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935/40 "2008-05-29T05:36:42Z")
[QUOTE=Santo Rugger] Use “late” in place of “later” or “bye”. Drives me fuckin’ crazy, and it’s people my age who are doin’ it. ☹ [/QUOTE] Laters yah! Could be an antipodean thing. My kid has gone from laughing along with these ideas to being very quiet and getting a kind of worried look. She’s not a teenager yet, but she’s getting close 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-annoy-my-daughter/450935.md?page=3)