# Please help me sleep! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 16, 2003, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763 "2003-05-16T20:24:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/77aa72/32.png) [@Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_On_My_Sleeve)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/1 "2003-05-16T20:24:08Z")
I have tried pretty much everything to help me fall asleep, including medical evaluation and psychotherapy. There is “nothing” wrong with me. I get about 2 _decent_ nights of sleep a week and I feel terrible. I only have trouble falling asleep when I get into bed. I need to hear thoughts on ways to fall asleep that may not be common. I’ve tried: Imagery Consistent routine Baths Breathing No caffeine Having my head pointing North Sleeping by myself Sleeping with my husband Sleeping in a huge bed On the couch Tea Valerian Root Melatonin Ambien Tylenol Diphenhydramine Stretching Yoga Journaling Reading in bed Not reading in bed Sound machine you get the picture. I haven’t tried hypnosis with tapes, tho’. I’d be interested in hearing about that. Anyone here overcome a sleeping problem? I’m dying here! ---
**Author:** ![lachesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@lachesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lachesis)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/2 "2003-05-16T21:03:20Z")
you have trouble getting to sleep **when you get to bed** {emphasis mine, obviously} what conditions DO make you sleepy? watching TV? driving? {Og, i hope not!} reading? sitting at your work desk? {quite understandable, actually} attending meetings? {completely natural, in my book} if there’s some place/time when the urge to sleep _routinely_ strikes, is there some way you could incorporate that to get sleep into your schedule? do you tend to fall asleep at non-standard times? maybe your body clock is set to a different timetable. you might be perfect for night shift-type work. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/77aa72/32.png) [@Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_On_My_Sleeve)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/3 "2003-05-16T21:07:07Z")
Yes, I apologize for the lack of clarity. I get into bed at bedtime and cannot fall sleep. I usually don’t have a problem once I’m asleep. I don’t get sleepy doing anything except sometimes in meetings. I should sleep there, at least something productive would get done. ---
**Author:** ![Opengrave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/919ad9/32.png) [@Opengrave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opengrave)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/4 "2003-05-16T21:24:00Z")
I really sympathize, I have been there and it sucks. I drank to help me sleep but that is _not_ a good idea. \Trust me, [this](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0240804546/qid=1053120303/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/104-8447487-3124733?v=glance&s=books) will put you to sleep.\ Does excercise seem to help? It did make me feel better and fall asleep easier. ---
**Author:** ![Sionach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Sionach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sionach)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/5 "2003-05-16T21:28:19Z")
My mother swears by calcium-magnesium vitamin pills. According to her, calcium helps the body relax (hence the old wives’ remedy of warm milk). IANAD, but if you haven’t already, you might look into taking a calcium tablet or two before you go to bed. Also consider going to bed at the same time every night, limit physical and mental activities for an hour or so before bedtime, and turn the lights low for that hour so your body gets the message that it’s nighttime. Other than that, you’ve tried about every home-remedy I can think of. My tried & true method is putting on an ocean waves CD and deep breathing (count to 6 slowly on inhale, hold briefly, exhale for 6, then hold briefly, repeat). I notice you’ve already tried similar techniques, but perhaps a combo of relaxation techniques & cal-mag would help. Hope you can find something that works for you! 🙂 On preview; just thought of something . . . I don’t know your age or how long you’ve had this problem, so please don’t take offense, but my mother is in the beginning stages of menopause and has found she has a lot of trouble with getting to sleep or waking up too early. Her doc prescribed a progesterin cream she uses which has helped immensely with correcting her sleep cycyles. Perhaps you’re dealing with a hormonal imbalance or (if you are old enough) are experiencing early menopause symptoms? Just a thought & something to check with your doc about if there’s any possibility of that being the culprit. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/77aa72/32.png) [@Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_On_My_Sleeve)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/6 "2003-05-16T21:33:34Z")
**Opengrave** , that is funny! I actually have gotten into recording audio and MIDI in the last 6 mos. I’m a (sorta) programmer by trade, so maybe I ought to get my ASP reference manual out! I’m going to try the cal-mag…can’t hurt. ---
**Author:** ![Opengrave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/919ad9/32.png) [@Opengrave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opengrave)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/7 "2003-05-16T21:40:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Heart On My Sleeve \* > **Opengrave , that is funny! I actually have gotten into recording audio and MIDI in the last 6 mos. I’m a (sorta) programmer by trade, so maybe I ought to get my ASP reference manual out!** I work with computers too, my professional suggestion is that you try Assembler, it is waaaaaay more boring to read.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/77aa72/32.png) [@Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_On_My_Sleeve)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/8 "2003-05-16T21:43:39Z")
Given that I don’t even know what Assembler is, I imagine it should be very effective. ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/9 "2003-05-16T21:45:03Z")
I know you said you already tried imagery, but I have used it successfully. Perhaps the tapes would help. I had a hypnotist visit our sociology class years ago who taught the class a guided imagery about walking down stairs and relaxing at each step for a few seconds for some relaxing breathing (there was more to it, but the rest was for the classroom demonstration). I used the technique for years with excellent results. Sometimes I didn’t make it more than a few ‘steps’ before it put me to sleep. Now I listen to the radio with earphones. Oddly, I listen to the old Art Bell Show (George Noory or someone) and even though I find the show infuriating, it does put me to sleep rather than wake me up. Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/10 "2003-05-16T21:47:08Z")
[Max Headroom] P-P-P-Poetry. That’ll work. “Come, sweet slumber, and shroud me in thy purple cloak.” Hmm. Doesn’t even rhyme. [/Max Headroom] ---
**Author:** ![monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monster)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/11 "2003-05-16T21:47:33Z")
Hello! Did you know that Steve has the same problem? Is it possible that you just don’t _require_ the standard amount of sleep? Maybe you’re trying to go to bed too early. So, you get frustrated because you don’t fall asleep right away. Then when you do finally fall asleep, it isn’t a restful sleep because of the stress you’ve built up? Steve has found that if he just doesn’t come to bed until WAY late (early?) that he gets a restful sleep, even though it is only 5 or 6 hours. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/12 "2003-05-16T21:53:49Z")
If your problem is tension, there are several forms of physical therapy beyond mere breathing exercises that might be helpful. Regular exercise during the afternoon or early evening would also be a good idea, and I’ve found that not eating or drinking after dinner is also helpful. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/77aa72/32.png) [@Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_On_My_Sleeve)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/13 "2003-05-16T21:54:32Z")
**monster** , who the heck is this “Steve” gentleman? 🙂 You’ve got me thinking, though, because there was a time when I said, screw it, I’m not going to even get into bed until I really feel good and ready. When Ian says, OK, let’s go to bed, I feel like a brat child because I’m saying “But I don’t wanna go to bed!” I’ll probably try that again, at least I won’t be tortured trying to go to sleep. But I don’t remember if I felt better at all when did that. I might have a late circadian cycle. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/77aa72/32.png) [@Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_On_My_Sleeve)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/14 "2003-05-16T21:58:18Z")
I should mention, I do exercise 3-4 times a week, weight-lifting and cardio. I do it in the early evening (around 5:00) because that’s when it feels best to me. Thanks for your suggestions and I welcome more. I’m going to try the cal-mag, and play around with the time that I actually go to bed. I have some flexibility in my work times, so if I find that going to bed late and getting up late work, I might be able to swing that most of the time. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/15 "2003-05-16T22:02:54Z")
I completely sympathize with you, **Heart On My Sleeve**. I used to have terrible insomnia exactly as you describe, where you just can’t fall asleep. I still have it sometimes, but not nearly as often as I used to. I know you said you tried melatonin, but could you elaborate? What kind did you take (i.e. is it a pill you swallow or something that dissolves in your mouth?) Do you remember how many milligrams? I’ve found that the sublingual tablets (you can get them at GNC) work really well for me, while the pills you swallow do almost nothing. I typically take 2-3 mg at a time, although I’m a big guy, so you may want to take less. (When I first heard about it, I read the original published studies to see if it was safe, and they had trials with people taking 50 and 500 mg doses, I believe, with no problems. So it’s safe to take 2 or 3 at a time, if what you buy is less than you want, although of course check with a doctor or do some reading for yourself if you’re concerned.) Also, for me the key was taking it a half hour before bedtime, _not_ once I’m lying awake realizing I can’t sleep. I have never taken it for more than a week or two at a time, because once I know I have it to fall back on, I break myself of the cycle of thinking about falling asleep so much that I can’t fall asleep. It’s also great for jet lag. Of course, it may just not work for you, but I wanted to share my experience in the hope that it might help you. Insomnia really really sucks. ---
**Author:** ![monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monster)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/16 "2003-05-16T22:07:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Heart On My Sleeve \* > \*\ ***monster** , who the heck is this “Steve” gentleman? 🙂 > \*\* I know it has been a while since you’ve seen him, but I swear he still exisits!! We’ve developed an understanding in that I need my full 9 hours of sleep and he doesn’t. It stinks because we don’t get into bed together each night, but I don’t want him keeping me up watching TV until 2 or 3 in the morning. I get a good night’s sleep and so does he. Tell Ian he’s just going to have to go to bed alone and you’ll join him later! ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/17 "2003-05-16T22:09:06Z")
**Heart** , I just saw your last post. Key advice to this type of insomnia: **never** go to bed until you’re actually tired. I almost always got less sleep when I went to bed at bedtime (e.g. 11pm) when I wasn’t tired, than if I stayed up until midnight and fell asleep right away. ---
**Author:** ![herownself](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8baadc/32.png) [@herownself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/herownself)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/18 "2003-05-17T00:25:12Z")
Boy, **Heart** ,I sympathize. I have major problems with insomnia too. Ambien works for me, though. Acupuncture is my other miracle cure, it’s the only thing that has worked on my migraines. Not to be crude, but, er, _petting the bunny_ is my last-ditch sleep trick. There’s a few minutes of calm after, um, \*the bunny - you know - \* where all your muscles are relaxed and your mind can drift. Sometimes sleep can catch me then. If that doesn’t work, I just get up. ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/19 "2003-05-17T03:38:54Z")
Well, just last night I used [this tape](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1570428026/qid=1053141186/sr=2-1/ref=sr_2_1/102-1612125-2478528) It works for me by replacing the constant yammering of my own thoughts with someone else’s yammering. Kinda gives you something not to pay attention to. Something with words works much better for me than just soothing music or ocean waves. I have also heard of a technique you might try if you can take a lot of time off work and other responsibilities. Chase sleep around the clock. It’s usually pretty easy to stay up a little later, hard to get up earlier. Step 1. Stay up until you are really tired. Go to sleep and sleep until you wake up naturally for the day Step 2. Stay up later (anywhere from 1-3 hours) each successive night, each time sleeping until you wake up naturally. Eventually you will be going to sleep for the “night” in the middle of the day. Step 3. When you have travelled all around the clock to the time you would like your betime to be (say 9:30pm) keep it there. Let us know if anything you try works. Best of luck. ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763/20 "2003-05-17T03:45:44Z")
Well, just last night I used [this tape](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1570428026/qid=1053141186/sr=2-1/ref=sr_2_1/102-1612125-2478528) It works for me by replacing the constant yammering of my own thoughts with someone else’s yammering. Kinda gives you something not to pay attention to. Something with words works much better for me than just soothing music or ocean waves. I have also heard of a technique you might try if you can take a lot of time off work and other responsibilities. Chase sleep around the clock. It’s usually pretty easy to stay up a little later, hard to get up earlier. Step 1. Stay up until you are really tired. Go to sleep and sleep until you wake up naturally for the day Step 2. Stay up later (anywhere from 1-3 hours) each successive night, each time sleeping until you wake up naturally. Eventually you will be going to sleep for the “night” in the middle of the day. Step 3. When you have travelled all around the clock to the time you would like your betime to be (say 9:30pm) keep it there. Let us know if anything you try works. Best of luck. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-sleep/175763.md?page=2)