# Please let her passing be swift and peaceful **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 10, 2009, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-let-her-passing-be-swift-and-peaceful/513337 "2009-10-10T20:03:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2009, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-let-her-passing-be-swift-and-peaceful/513337/1 "2009-10-10T20:03:02Z")
I’ve posted previously about my aunt’s decline. She’s now asking after her mother. This is Not Good News. Her mental decline is clearly accelerating. And then there’s the physical side. Really, it’s no way to live, stuck in a care home just waiting for death, with no memory beyond the instant and the long ago. I do not believe that there is anything after death, but it would at least be an end to her suffering. Life can really suck sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![alexandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@alexandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alexandra)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2009, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-let-her-passing-be-swift-and-peaceful/513337/2 "2009-10-10T20:47:03Z")
☹ I’m sorry. My best wishes it can be as peaceful as possible. Who can imagine, though? ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2009, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-let-her-passing-be-swift-and-peaceful/513337/3 "2009-10-10T20:58:22Z")
My best suggestion is to spend as much time as you can with her, hold her hand, and make sure she knows you love & care for her. Now might be the time to start saying whatever has been left unsaid (if anything) . If she is declining this fast, the end might come quickly. If there are goodbyes to be said, you might want to start saying them and to prepare yourself. I’m sorry. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2009, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-let-her-passing-be-swift-and-peaceful/513337/4 "2009-10-10T23:02:26Z")
I’m sorry your family is going through this Quartz. My mother spent time in a kind of ‘twilight’ state before she finally passed; it was much harder to deal with that, in a way, than it was to deal with her ultimate death. May you and yours be blessed with strength and courage through this time, and may your aunt be eased into peace soon. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2009, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-let-her-passing-be-swift-and-peaceful/513337/5 "2009-10-10T23:09:59Z")
**Quartz** , I know this is a tough time. My prayers are with you and your aunt. It’s all part of life; can you draw strength from that? Take care, Ellen ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2009, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-let-her-passing-be-swift-and-peaceful/513337/6 "2009-10-10T23:12:10Z")
☹ I’m so sorry. My 88-year-old grandmother got so bad before she passed, she was yelling for her Mommy. Her mother died when she was 12. Those last few months–in particular, the last month–were atrocious. May your aunt’s passing be quicker and more peaceful, for all of you.