# Please Mr. Custer..I don't wanna go.. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 10, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082 "2003-12-10T03:32:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/1 "2003-12-10T03:32:18Z")
_Hey Mr Custer…do you mind if be excused the rest of the afternoon?_ by Larry Verne One of my favorite comedy songs. Among many… \*\*Beep Beep[/]…_While riding in my cadilac what to my surprise…a little nash rambler was following me…_ by The Playmates. **Heartbreak hotel** …by Stan Freeberg of course. To name a couple more. Y’all got a favorite comedy song? ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/2 "2003-12-10T03:45:22Z")
Thanks **Reeder**. Now I have that song stuck in my brain bucket right before bedtime. I’ll probably have dreams about one-eyed, one-horned flying purple people eaters. ---
**Author:** ![CaptBushido](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@CaptBushido](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptBushido)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/3 "2003-12-10T03:51:27Z")
Ahh come on, ther aren’t THAT many Indians… ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/4 "2003-12-10T03:53:38Z")
It…was…an Itsy-bitsy Teeny-weeny Yellow polka-dot bikini… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/5 "2003-12-10T04:08:47Z")
I’m ashamed to admit this but… “The day the squirrel went beserk In the First Self-Rightgeous Church, in that sleepy little town of Pashalula!” ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/6 "2003-12-10T04:10:25Z")
Tom Paxton’s “Marvelous Toy:” _It went_ Zzzzzzzzzip! _when it moved, And_ BOP! _when it stopped, and \* WHIRRRRRRR_ when it stood still. I never knew just what it was, And I guess I never will.\* The Snoopy/Red Baron Christmas song is pretty good, too. ---
**Author:** ![Julius\_Henry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8797f3/32.png) [@Julius\_Henry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Julius_Henry)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/7 "2003-12-10T05:08:27Z")
The Vatican Rag. The Cockroach that Ate Cincinnati. ---
**Author:** ![nitroglycerine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c5a1d2/32.png) [@nitroglycerine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nitroglycerine)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/8 "2003-12-10T05:35:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Reeder \* > \*\*_Hey Mr Custer…do you mind if be excused the rest of the afternoon?_ by Larry Verne > One of my favorite comedy songs. Among many… > > \*\*Beep Beep[/]…_While riding in my cadilac what to my surprise…a little nash rambler was following me…_ by The Playmates. > > **Heartbreak hotel** …by Stan Freeberg of course. > > To name a couple more. Y’all got a favorite comedy song? \*\* You **HAVE** to hear [The Fleshtones](http://www.fleshtones.org) version of this from the Hitsburg USA album. Other cool novelty covers are The Cramps version of “The Crusher” and the New York Dolls covers of of “Bad Detective” and “Stranded In The Jungle” Not sure who does it, but “My Boomerang Won’t Come Back” makes me laugh every time I hear it, as does “The Curley Shuffle”, The Squirrels “Oz On 45”, the Rolling Stones “Dear Doctor”, “Shaving Cream”…I could go on and on… Jon ---
**Author:** ![AtomicDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/9 "2003-12-10T06:17:57Z")
Where have all the novelty songs gone? ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/10 "2003-12-10T06:38:22Z")
I’m a huge Tom Lehrer fan, and I’m always up for funny Frank Zappa material. My buddy Mike introduced me to both years ago, through his Dr. Demento 2 CD set. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/11 "2003-12-10T06:53:27Z")
“Witch Doctor” by Ross Bagdasarian (AKA Dave Seville) “Dead Puppies”- can’t remember the name of the artist “I’m Looking Over My Dead Dog Rover”. “Fish Heads”, and the “I Had Sex With” trilogy- Barnes and Barnes “With Her Head Tucked Underneath Her Arm”, don’t know the artist on that one, either “My Baby’s Got Rabies” “Those Two Dreadful Children”- Cruella De Ville And there’s one, I think it was by Tom Leherer, can’t remember the title… “About a maid, I’ll sing a song, sing rickety, tickety, tin About a maid, I’ll sing a song who didn’t have her family long, not only did she do them wrong, she did every one of them in…” I’m a sick puppy, I admit that freely. Anything and everything by Spike Jones and the City Slickers “Guitarzan,” “Ahab the Arab”, the aforementioned “Mississippi Squirrel Revival”, “Three Legged Man”, by Ray Stevens. And of course, that immortal classic by Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention, “The Yellow Snow” I was a Dr. Demento devotee when I was younger. I don’t know if he’s available here in the Las Vegas market. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/12 "2003-12-10T08:59:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by nitroglycerine \* > \*\*Not sure who does it, but “My Boomerang Won’t Come Back” makes me laugh every time I hear it \*\* [Charlie Drake.](http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/m/myboomerangwontcomeback.html) One of my favourites. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/13 "2003-12-10T12:13:24Z")
[Some Funny Songs Here.](http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/sexysexy) (a little bit on the naughty side- just a little bit) . ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/14 "2003-12-10T12:51:41Z")
“Keep your mind on your drivin’ Keep your hands on the wheel, Keep your[something] eyes on the road ahead. We’re havin’ fun, Sittin’ in the back seat, Kissin’ anda huggin’ with Fred.” “James , James, hold the ladder steady, James, James, you come and I am ready…” Don’t know who did either song, but they are from the 50’s, or very early 60’s. The second one is about eloping, not some bizarre, vertigo-inducing sexual practice. ---
**Author:** ![Live\_Better\_Electrically](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@Live\_Better\_Electrically](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Live_Better_Electrically)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/15 "2003-12-10T13:11:26Z")
> [@](#): > > "Keep your mind on your drivin’ > Keep your hands on the wheel, “Seven Little Girls Sitting in the Backseat” by **Paul Evans**. > [@](#): > > “James , James, hold the ladder steady, > James, James, you come and I am ready…” **Sue Thompson**. Another great song by John D. Loudermilk, who wrote a lot of novelties. No one has mentioned **Stan Freberg** yet? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/16 "2003-12-10T13:26:15Z")
What, nobody meantions **Allan Sherman** or **Weird Al**? Or are they just too obvious? Another vote for Tom Lehrer, a man who can rhyme “Oedipus” with “Platypus” , and turn a Revival hymn into “We Will All Go Togetgher When We Go.” Not to mention a song in which almost every word is the name of a chemical element. (“There’s antimony, arsenic, alumiunum, magnesium…”) ---
**Author:** ![N.Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f19dbf/32.png) [@N.Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N.Sane)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/17 "2003-12-10T13:26:48Z")
I loved one about taking off your skin and dancing around in your bones. And what about “Who put the benzadrine in Mrs. Murphy’s Ovaltine?” 😃 Loved Dr. Demento as a kid! ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/18 "2003-12-10T13:33:08Z")
“Monster” by the B-52s. “There’s a monster in my pants And he does a dirty dance When I let that monster out All the women scream and shout” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/19 "2003-12-10T13:43:49Z")
Anything by the [Bonzo Dog Band](http://www.iankitching.me.uk/music/bonzos/), but especially “The Intro and the Outro,” “My Pink Half of the Drainpipe,” “Tent,” “Humanoid Boogie,” “Hunting Tigers Out in Indiah,” “Ali Baba’s Camel,” “I’m Bored,” and their versions of “Monster Mash,” and “The Sound of Music.” [Blotto’s](http://www.blotto.net) “I Wanna Be a Lifeguard” ([Link to MP3](http://www.blotto.net/canadalife.mp3)), “We are the Nowtones,” “She’s Got a Big Boyfriend,” and “My Baby’s the Star of a Driver’s Ed Movie.” **Shel Silverstein/Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show** – “Roland the Roadie and Gertrude the Groupie,” “On the Cover of the Rolling Stone.” **Cream** – “Mother’s Lament” (Oh, your baby had gone down the plughole . . . \* ) **Detergents** – “Leader of the Laundromat” (“Who’s that playing the piano?”) **Martin Mull** – “Dueling Tubas,” “(How Could I Not Miss) A Girl Your Size,” “Licks Off Of Records,” “Ukelele Blues,” “Normal,” and “Santa Doesn’t Cop Out on Dope.” \*Man, that sounds pretty dirty out of context. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/20 "2003-12-10T14:35:07Z")
“Let me tell you about Ahab, the A-rab, sheik of the burning sands…” Actually that was the first record I ever bought. It was a 45 so you know how long ago that was, and knowing my inability to throw anything away, I probably have it around here someplace. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082.md?page=2)