# Please Mr. Custer..I don't wanna go.. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 10, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082 "2003-12-10T03:32:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/21 "2003-12-10T14:59:58Z")
The _real_ golden age of the novelty song was the 1920s: Crazy Words, Crazy Tune Barney Google Yes! We Have No Bananas! Horses, Horses, Horses I’m Just Wild About Animal Crackers She Knows Her Onions I Married the Bootlegger’s Daughter Ain’t Gonna Rain No Mo’ That’s a Lot of Bunk ``` etc., etc. . . . ``` ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/22 "2003-12-10T15:06:45Z")
Warren Zevon’s \* Mr. Bad Example. \* Despite having heard this song literally hundreds of times, its sardonic humor still puts a grin on my face when I hear it. ---
**Author:** ![lachesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@lachesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lachesis)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/23 "2003-12-10T17:55:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Thea Logica \* > \*\*“Dead Puppies”- can’t remember the name of the artist > > “With Her Head Tucked Underneath Her Arm”, don’t know the artist on that one, either\*\* “Dead Puppies” is credited to Ogden Edsl according to Dr. Demento. that would be The Kingston Trio for “With Her Head…”. also known fondly for “Zombie Jamboree” > [@](#): > > \*\* > And there’s one, I think it was by Tom Leherer, can’t remember the title… > > “About a maid, I’ll sing a song, > sing rickety, tickety, tin > About a maid, I’ll sing a song > who didn’t have her family long, > not only did she do them wrong, > she did every one of them in…” > \*\* “An Irish Ballad” “One day when she had nothing to do Rickety tickety tin One day when she had nothing to do She cut her baby brother in two And served him up as an Irish stew… And invited the neighbors in…” always loved “The Hunting Song”, and who could forget “The Wild West is Where I Wanna Be”? so many goodies… > [@](#): > > \*\*I was a Dr. Demento devotee when I was younger. I don’t know if he’s available here in the Las Vegas market. \*\* i seem to recall he still infests the airwaves (though i’ve never actually heard his program). at any rate, as long as he keeps putting out his “Best Of” anniversary collections, i’m a happy girl. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/24 "2003-12-10T19:41:31Z")
David Allen Coe’s “You Never Even Call Me by My Name”: _I was drunk when my Mama got out of prison, And I went to pick her up in the rain; But before I could get to the station in a pickup truck She got run over by a damned old train! I’ll hang around as long as you will let me; And I never minded standing in the rain; You don’t have to call me darling, Darling; You never even call me, I wonder why you don’t call me, Why don’t you ever call me by my name?_ Or Dr. Demento’s perennial favorite, “Shaving Cream” by Benny Bell: _I have a sad story to tell you, It may hurt your feelings a bit; Last night when I went into my bathroom, I slipped on a big pile of… Shaving Cream, be nice and clean, Shave every day and you’ll always look keen!_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/25 "2003-12-10T20:00:16Z")
And there’s always this one: “They’re coming to take me away, Ha ha, ho, ho, hee, hee, To the Funny Farm, Where life is beautiful all the time, And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats, Annnd they’re coming to take me away!” ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/26 "2003-12-10T20:45:43Z")
**Chuck Berry** - _My Ding A Ling_ \*When I was a little bitty boy my grandmother bought me a cute little toy Silver bells hangin’ on a string she told me it was my ding a ling My ding a ling, my ding a ling I want to play with my ding a ling My ding a ling, my ding a ling I want to play with my ding a ling \*When I was a kid, that was on an LP I had called “Dumb Ditties” along with > [@](#): > > Monster Mash - Bobby (Boris) Pickett and The Crypt-Kickers > Alvin’s Harmonica - David Seville & The Chipmunks > On Top of Spaghettti - Tom Glazer & The Children’s Chorus > Beans in My Ears - Serendipity Singers > I’m a Nut - Leroy Pullins > All I Want for Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth) - Jimmy James > I Taut I Taw a Puddy Tat - Tom Katz > Teddy Bears’ Picnic - Lucy Diner > Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead - Gingerbread > Seven Little Girls Sitting in the Back Seat - Paul Evans > The Jolly Green Giant - Kingsmen > > * * * > > Side Two > If You Wanna Be Happy - Jimmy Soul > Who Put the Bomp (In the Bomp, Bomp, Bomp) - Barry Mann > Pink Shoelaces - Dodie Stevens > Mr. Bass Man - Johnny Cymbal > Bridget the Midget (The Queen of the Blues) - Ray Stevens > The Ballad of Irving - Frank Gallop > Martian Hop - Galaxies > Here Comes the Judge - Bobby Biggs > Nuttin’ for Christmas - Billy Pressman > Short Shorts - Bermudas > Little Arrows - Leapy Lee > Happy-Go-Lucky-Me - Paul Evans My mother, a Fundamentalist Pentecostal Christian, forbid me to listen to the Chuck Berry Song. So of course I had to do it in secret when I’d take it to my cousin’s house. I could sing along to _The Ballad of Irving_ without missing a note. I can still remember some of it now. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/27 "2003-12-10T21:01:59Z")
“Boobs A Lot,” by the Fugs, the East-Coast answer to the West-Coast Mothers: _Do you like boobs a lot? Yes, I like boobs a lot. Do you wear your jock a lot? Yes, we wear our jock a lot._ (It doesn’t get much better) And another Martin Mull hit is “The Blacks Are Giving Me The Blues.” ---
**Author:** ![Nightingale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@Nightingale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightingale)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/28 "2003-12-10T21:22:27Z")
[Tie me kangaroo down, sport](http://morriderir.com/letra-kangaroo.htm) [Along came Jones](http://my.execpc.com/~suden/alongcame_jones.html) And not really a comedy, but a novelty song: [Swamp Witch Hattie](http://ntl.matrix.com.br/pfilho/html/lyrics/s/swamp_witch.txt) My dad used to sing these songs to my brother and me when we were little. Good times. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/29 "2003-12-10T23:46:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CalMeacham \* > \*\*What, nobody meantions **Allan Sherman** or **Weird Al**? Or are they just too obvious? > > Another vote for Tom Lehrer, a man who can rhyme “Oedipus” with “Platypus” , and turn a Revival hymn into “We Will All Go Togetgher When We Go.” Not to mention a song in which almost every word is the name of a chemical element. (“There’s antimony, arsenic, alumiunum, magnesium…”) \*\* Not magnesium, selenium. Magnesium comes much later in the song. (BTW, **CalMeacham** , I’d just like to say that you have the BEST sigs.) And now I would lke to nominate The Carpenters’ _Intermission._ Beautiful work. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/30 "2003-12-11T00:36:48Z")
Stations which broadcast Dr. Demento are listed in a FAQ that’s posted on the Usenet newsgroup rec.music.dementia. There are also webcasts from various stations. In addition, the current show is usually posted by a listener on alt.binaries.sounds.mp3.comedy. My favorite funny song? There’s too many! Here are just a few of my favorites. "The Borgias are giving an orgy, there’s a Borgia orgy tonight, And isn’t is sickenin’, we’ve run out of strychnine, The gravy will have to have ground glass for thickenin’ " (performed by Hermione Gingold) “There are fairies at the bottom of our garden” (performed by Bea Lillie) “Carrot Juice Is Murder” (Arrogant Worms) “She Loves You” recited by Peter Sellers in his Dr. Strangelove voice. “So Long Mom (I’m Off to Drop the Bomb)” by Tom Lehrer. Someday I’d like to perform this as a vaudeville song, complete with cane and straw hat which I’ll wave as I smile broadly and sing “No need for you to miss a minute of the agonizing holocaust, yeah!” “Folk Song Army” also by Tom Lehrer. “We’re all against poverty, war and injustice/unlike the rest of you squares.” Great! “Lizzie Borden” and “The Boston Beguine” from “New Faces of 1952” “April in Fairbanks” Someone is posting Dr. Demento shows from 1974 and earlier on absmc. I just heard one performed by Eartha Kitt - > [@](#): > > I wanna be evil, I wanna spit tacks. > I wanna be evil, and cheat at jacks… > I wanna be evil and trump an ace > Just to see my partner’s face… > I wanna be horrid, I wanna drink booze, > And whatever I’ve got, I’m eager to lose!.. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Thea Logica_ > “With Her Head Tucked Underneath Her Arm”, don’t know the artist on that one, either > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by lachesis_ > that would be The Kingston Trio for “With Her Head…”. I’ve never heard the Trio’s version of “With Her Head Tucked Underneath Her Arm” (by **R.P. Weston and Bert Lee** ), but I’m sure it was just a near-to-vanishing pale version of the all-time ultimate best version by the legendary **Stanley Holloway** in the 30s. And anyone who doesn’t agree is a poopyhead. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Extraneous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/0ea827/32.png) [@Extraneous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Extraneous)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/31 "2003-12-11T02:28:28Z")
**May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose** by _Lonnie Donegan & His Skiffle Group_ **Pencil Necked Geek** by _Fred Blassie_ **Dead Skunk** by _Loudon Wainwright III_ ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/32 "2003-12-11T04:54:26Z")
When I was a kid my dad had an album (KTEL, I think) by various artists called Wacky Westerns or something. I used to listen to it over and over. The ones I can recall are: Does Your Chewing Gum Lose its Flavor on the Bedpost Over Night? The Tennessee Bird Walk Little Arrows The Battle of Camp Kookamunga You Can’t Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd Chug-A-Lug Running Bear (loves little White Dove) How to Catch an African Skeeter Alive My Uncle Used to Love Me But She Died How Much is that Hound Dog in the Window? Three Sheets in the Wind Doo Waka Doo and finally, Mr. Custer There were more, but these are the ones that stuck with me. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/33 "2003-12-11T05:03:51Z")
“The Ballad of Irving” “The Ballad of Ben Gay” ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/34 "2003-12-11T05:16:21Z")
There have been some funny songs released in the past few years. “My Name Is” by Eminem is probably out-and-out one of the funniest rap songs ever, and one of the funniest songs period. “Hey Ya” by Oukast–that was a great band totally lampooning the Motown, Atlantic and Buddah sounds while doing a song about breakup. All in one song, showing their brillance. And there is that “Thong Song” by Sisqo, which he will have a hard time living down. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/35 "2003-12-11T07:43:54Z")
There was a great song covered in a musical number on The Muppet Show. I would love it if anyone could inform me of an original recording of it, I only know it through the Muppets. I don’t know the exact title but it’s a song about **The Girlfriend of the Whirling Derbish** (she gives him the run-around!) . ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/36 "2003-12-11T09:26:32Z")
Any of Ray Steven’s comedy songs. A couple have been mentioned already: “Ahab the Arab” and “Along Came Jones”. But there was also “The Streak”. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/37 "2003-12-11T12:34:05Z")
To Musicat: I have “Boobs a Lot” by the Holy Modal Rounders, recorded off the Dr. Demento show about 1990. To Extraneous: “May the Bird of Paradise Fly up Your Nose” was by Lonnie Donegan and His Skiffle Group, from about 1960. (Billy Jones and Ernie Hare had done it years before). You know Jones and Hare as the Happiness Boys: _“I’m Billy Jones”, “I’m Ernie Hare,” “We’re the Interwoven pair, How do you doodle-oodle-oodle-oodle-oo!”_ “Now give me a car that starts with P!” “Don’t kid me, no car starts with P.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TPWombat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/38 "2003-12-11T13:01:02Z")
[My Granny is a Cripple in Nashville"](http://freespace.virgin.net/martin.lewis/billy/songs/country.htm) by Billy Connolly. Also his version of Tell Laura I Love Her : _“Yes, friends, there were pieces of Laura everywhere…I remember one piece was sliding down the Post Office window and an alsatian ran off with it”._ ---
**Author:** ![Titan2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Titan2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Titan2)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/39 "2003-12-11T15:23:53Z")
\*\* Ice Wolf \*\*- Along Came Jones was the Coasters,and was probably Lieber and Stoller’s answer to \*\* Western Movies \*\* by the Olympics. From that general 50s period 2 of my favs have always been \* Stranded In the Jungle \* and \* Alley Oop.\* Curiously, 2 different groups covered each of those. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082/40 "2003-12-11T15:57:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CalMeacham \* > \*\*Another vote for Tom Lehrer, a man who can rhyme “Oedipus” with “Platypus” , and turn a Revival hymn into “We Will All Go Togetgher When We Go.” Not to mention a song in which almost every word is the name of a chemical element. (“There’s antimony, arsenic, alumiunum, magnesium…”) \*\* [The Elements](http://www.privatehand.com/flash/elements.html) (warning: Flash animation! Work-safe, though) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-mr-custer-i-dont-wanna-go/218082.md?page=3)