# "Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police." **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 16, 2015, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495 "2015-09-16T18:20:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Gotlift](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9fc348/32.png) [@Gotlift](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gotlift)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495/21 "2015-09-17T00:29:59Z")
I recall a gagging episode where I thought she was going to puke on me. I didn’t have to ask her to stop since she did on her own, but I do remember being overly forceful to remove her from the bed in order to avoid my own puking response in the event that I got horked on. Imagine going from a blowey to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STB4s7Qhf40). ---
**Author:** ![desertmonk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@desertmonk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/desertmonk)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495/22 "2015-09-17T01:00:37Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > I had a girlfriend a long time ago that thought it would be really funny to do that while I was trying to talk to my mom on the phone. > > That was just… wrong. I had a girlfriend do that too! When I quickly got off the phone she stopped. She was awful. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495/23 "2015-09-17T01:37:47Z")
I had to ask someone to stop because not to do so would have been extremely rude. See, we had been at the cubs game in the bleachers drinking beer and eating hot dogs all afternoon and we were feeling very amorous when we got back to her apartment. Unfortunately the beer and dogs conspired to brew up the mother of all farts; I mean this was going to peel the paint off the walls when it detonated and given human anatomy and my dearests face in my crotch I had to explain that although what she was doing was wonderful and though absolutely no fault of her own I had to ask her to stop. ---
**Author:** ![Gotlift](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9fc348/32.png) [@Gotlift](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gotlift)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495/24 "2015-09-17T01:56:08Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > I had to ask someone to stop because not to do so would have been extremely rude. > See, we had been at the cubs game in the bleachers drinking beer and eating hot dogs all afternoon and we were feeling very amorous when we got back to her apartment. > Unfortunately the beer and dogs conspired to brew up the mother of all farts; I mean this was going to peel the paint off the walls when it detonated and given human anatomy and my dearests face in my crotch I had to explain that although what she was doing was wonderful and though absolutely no fault of her own I had to ask her to stop. Oh man, that could have gone either way. If you got married then that could have been a pivotal moment to derail the future. If you broke up anyways then it might have been a great story about how you parted your ex’s hair during a blow job! ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495/25 "2015-09-17T03:24:39Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Do a lot of rapists eat pussy? I wonder what the statistics are on that. “Forensic Files” had an episode about a rapist who would indeed do that, and then claimed it wasn’t rape because women like having this done to them. The women whose houses he broke into didn’t enjoy it, that’s for sure. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495/26 "2015-09-17T22:54:10Z")
> [@jimbuff314](#): > > Wow, autocorrect _ **sucks** _, doesn’t it? Although, it _came_ close with the archaic definition. I wish I could blame autocorrect. But I chose that option after right-clicking-having misspelled it. It’s all on me, not paying attention. And, **SpeedwayRyan** , yes, the irony is delicious. You implying I don’t get it, when you don’t get that you have to get a joke to be able to analyze it. Heck, I don’t know if you really get it. Do you understand why you find it funny? There aren’t that many choices: [ul] [li]Men getting raped is a funny concept.[/li][li]Blow jobs are so good no one would ask you to stop.[/li][li]No one is going to politely ask you to stop raping them.[/li][/ul] I go with number 3. And I fucking explained why. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495/27 "2015-09-17T23:28:52Z")
It’s actually (2), but you really can’t be blamed for not knowing that. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2015, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495/28 "2015-09-18T02:40:13Z")
It’s a myth that there’s no such thing as a bad BJ. I can remember at least a couple of times in my salad days when I had to ask the girl to stop because her performance, er, sucked. I’d like to express admiration for the Thread Title/User Name combo. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2015, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495/29 "2015-09-18T03:23:51Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > It’s a myth that there’s no such thing as a bad BJ. I can remember at least a couple of times in my salad days when I had to ask the girl to stop because her performance, er, sucked. > > I’d like to express admiration for the Thread Title/User Name combo. Salad days? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2015, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495/30 "2015-09-18T03:58:22Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > It’s a myth that there’s no such thing as a bad BJ. I can remember at least a couple of times in my salad days when I had to ask the girl to stop because her performance, er, sucked. > > I’d like to express admiration for the Thread Title/User Name combo. I used to date a man who didn’t like them, and honestly, he had a pretty good reason why. He’d gotten his first one from a neighbor when he was 5 years old. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/channing_idaho_banks/32/250_2.png) [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Channing_Idaho_Banks)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2015, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495/31 "2015-09-18T07:11:57Z")
Hey, when you’re done, you’re done. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2015, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495/32 "2015-09-18T18:25:29Z")
How about something similar like “That Italian family at the next table sure is quiet” ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2015, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495/33 "2015-09-18T19:23:51Z")
Not so much since I don’t have one, but I have often been heard to say “will you get your dick out of my ass!” when someone is nagging me. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2015, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495/34 "2015-09-18T20:16:05Z")
I was getting roadhead once on a quiet section of I-95. Unfortunately, I was speeding and saw blue lights coming up behind me. “STOP STOP STOP STOP FUCK KEEP GOING I’LL LIVE WITH THE TICKET OKAY STOP!” ---
**Author:** ![Grim\_Render](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@Grim\_Render](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grim_Render)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2015, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495/35 "2015-09-18T22:45:54Z")
The wife opening the bedroom door would seem to be what gets most people to say that. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2015, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495/36 "2015-09-19T00:16:53Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > …really, really needing to pee… ♫ _Pardon me, Miss, But I’ve got to go piss . . ._ ♪ ETA: > [@BigT](#): > > Sure, there are times when you would ask someone to stop **felicitating** you. That would be very unwelcoming. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2015, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495/37 "2015-09-22T04:46:48Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I was getting roadhead once on a quiet section of I-95. Unfortunately, I was speeding and saw blue lights coming up behind me. “STOP STOP STOP STOP FUCK KEEP GOING I’LL LIVE WITH THE TICKET OKAY STOP!” I just can’t get over the fact that people really do this. IMNSHO, it would the most dangerous imaginable distraction. Just pull over if you’re that horny! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2015, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495/38 "2015-09-22T05:05:20Z")
Pull out and then pull over… you don’t want to give the Constable another offence to write up about. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2015, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495/39 "2015-09-22T05:33:44Z")
I have a few times. Was always because they were incredibly bad at it. As for why people get/give road head…the same reason people have sex in public. It’s fun. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-sucking-my-dick-or-ill-call-the-police/731495.md?page=1)