# Please Swallow Their BS, They're FAMILY... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 20, 2014, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-swallow-their-bs-theyre-family/679292 "2014-01-20T18:09:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-swallow-their-bs-theyre-family/679292/121 "2014-01-23T11:24:05Z")
> [@Foxy40](#): > > Being juveniles makes her opinion worse but shooting ANYONE that is unarmed and is in your house rather than attempting to detain them and call the police is what is despicable, immoral and inhumane. I clearly don’t want to walk into my home being robbed but I would much rather they leave than using my “right” to kill them for being in my home uninvited and up to no good. And yes, property compared to a human life is trivial. Property can be replaced. I think your opinion is upside down and as much as I try, I can’t wrap my head around it. It has nothing to do with property, and everything to do with safety. One of the absolute rules of gun safety is that you never, ever, ever threaten someone with a gun. You shoot them or you don’t get it out. Putting a gun in play just ups the odds tremendously that you yourself will end up hurt or dead. I honestly cannot think of anything stupider that trying to detain people breaking into your house. You don’t have to pull a gun: hide under the covers and hope they go away; go out a window; creep into your closet and call 911 at a whisper. But trying to intimidate strangers about whom the only thing you know is their willingness to do something as extreme as break into an occupied house would be stupid, stupid, stupid. It gives me chills just thinking about it. That’s the sort of thing that turns panicky, irrational, hormonal teens into murderers. It’s not doing anyone any favors. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-swallow-their-bs-theyre-family/679292/122 "2014-01-23T11:44:15Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > It has nothing to do with property, and everything to do with safety. > > One of the absolute rules of gun safety is that you never, ever, ever threaten someone with a gun. You shoot them or you don’t get it out. Putting a gun in play just ups the odds tremendously that you yourself will end up hurt or dead. > > I honestly cannot think of anything stupider that trying to detain people breaking into your house. You don’t have to pull a gun: hide under the covers and hope they go away; go out a window; creep into your closet and call 911 at a whisper. But trying to intimidate strangers about whom the only thing you know is their willingness to do something as extreme as break into an occupied house would be stupid, stupid, stupid. It gives me chills just thinking about it. That’s the sort of thing that turns panicky, irrational, hormonal teens into murderers. It’s not doing anyone any favors. I completely disagree. If you don’t have the composure to yell, "freeze right there! Get down! Right now or I’ll blow your fucking head off! then you have no business with a firearm. Or just yell, “get the hell out of my house!” Something like that. Shoot first? No, that’s really, really irresponsible. You’ve been watching too many movies if you think the average burglar is armed and looking for a gun fight. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-swallow-their-bs-theyre-family/679292/123 "2014-01-23T12:03:16Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > I completely disagree. If you don’t have the composure to yell, "freeze right there! Get down! Right now or I’ll blow your fucking head off! then you have no business with a firearm. Or just yell, “get the hell out of my house!” Something like that. Shoot first? No, that’s really, really irresponsible. You’ve been watching too many movies if you think the average burglar is armed and looking for a gun fight. It has nothing to do with composure. And the whole point is that while the average burglar is likely not armed and not looking for a gun fight, when you pull a gun, people panic. So you had an “average burglar” who was going to steal your laptop. Now you have a panicky person who thinks _he’s about to die_. So some stupid kid, who never had any intention of hurting anybody, suddenly freaks out and rushes you and that’s when tragic accidents and mistakes in judgment occur. If you think the person in your house isn’t a threat, don’t pull a gun. Do all the things you’d do if you didn’t have one–go out the window, play possum, turn the speaker off on your phone and call 911. Guns are not magic. Having a gun in your hand does not give you power or authority. It’s pouring gasoline on a fire. Use it or leave it alone. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-swallow-their-bs-theyre-family/679292/124 "2014-01-23T17:43:00Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > I take issue with classifying the SIL as an “evil fuck”. Stupid yes, evil no. SIL has the comfort of saying such an awful thing because she knows she’s never going to get that chance. But still, it’s a good coping mechanism, at least for her. And to me, the amount of time that has passed is irrelevant. The amount of time is very definitely relevant, because it gives you time to get past your initial reaction, whatever that might’ve been. Speaking for myself, I can get pretty mad about bad shit I’ve just experienced, but after a few days, I’m gonna be looking at things a bit more rationally, and even more so after a few weeks, even if my feelings still run high. And in this case, I take issue with this being primarily a coping mechanism. It sure comes across to me as something they’ve thought and talked about, and this is where they’ve come to as a result of that thinking and talking. Here’s the OP’s description of the conversation again: > [@](#): > > I asked about the incident. During the course of the conversation, my sister in law said she wished she had been home because she would have shot both of them. Immediately I bristled and asked if she was serious. She said she certainly was and my brother piped in that he would do the same and they have every right to do so. I responded, “let me get this straight, you would shoot and kill an unarmed teenager (or even adult) who is in your house robbing you without trying to detain them and call the police?” Absolutely was their response as well as my sister in law offering “And when I said this to the cop that responded, she said she would have less respect for me if I didn’t shoot them.” I’m sticking with “evil fucks.” ETA: And I don’t see where ‘stupid’ even enters into it. They seem to have their wits about them, just not being used in a way that I’d want to implicitly condone with my silence. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-swallow-their-bs-theyre-family/679292/125 "2014-01-23T18:23:30Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > Guns are not magic. Having a gun in your hand does not give you power or authority. No argument from me; but I think people think it does, because that’s the way it works on TV and in the movies. The person holding the gun has the power, and can tell the other people what to do. And I suspect that’s why some people are so defensive about the right to own guns: to them it means the difference between having power and being powerless. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-swallow-their-bs-theyre-family/679292/126 "2014-01-24T04:27:19Z")
> [@Foxy40](#): > > And yes, property compared to a human life is trivial. Property can be replaced. I think your opinion is upside down and as much as I try, I can’t wrap my head around it. Property is _not_ trivial compared to human life. For most human life, yes. I’d throw 100 laptops into a river so you could build a life preserver (just go with it). But you didn’t break into my house. Or anyone’s house. Your life is more valuable than theirs. House burglars’ lives are worthless. You have to be beyond depraved to do something like that. It’s not a crime of passion; it takes concerted effort over a prolonged period of time to commit a burglary. To have several minutes to an hour to think it over and _still_ go for it indicates a broken moral system. I’ll say it again - burglars’ lives are worthless. If property is trivial, why are they forfeiting their lives to get it? [quote=“Foxy40, post:110, topic:679292”] Really? So if you’re armed you aren’t going to instruct them to stop and get down but shoot them on site because they invaded your precious space [/quote Yeah. You got it. My precious space. _MY_ precious space. This isn’t my bus seat we’re talking about. It’s not my car. It’s where I sleep, for God’s sake. It’s my default location. You’re damned right it’s precious. > [@Foxy40](#): > > I am sure the two 14 year old boys that broke into my son’s car and took his wallet only to be caught by me, yelled at and told to get in the house while I called the police are really glad they didn’t encounter you. I even gave the kids a slice of pizza… GASP. The police came, my son got his wallet back, he decided to not press charges as the kids where scared to death and I am not cleaning blood off my drive way. A win win. You just rolled back their age two years, which REALLY makes them kids, and you changed it to a car. It doesn’t take much forethought and effort to steal from a car, and cars aren’t significant to a person’s being. Car robbers aren’t worthless cretins, and 14 year olds don’t realize what they’re getting into. Completely different scenario. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2014, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-swallow-their-bs-theyre-family/679292/127 "2014-01-25T02:48:40Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > You just rolled back their age two years, which REALLY makes them kids, and you changed it to a car. It doesn’t take much forethought and effort to steal from a car, and cars aren’t significant to a person’s being. Car robbers aren’t worthless cretins, and 14 year olds don’t realize what they’re getting into. Completely different scenario. S/he’s talking about two different incidents. If you can’t grasp that, are you sure your ability to evaluate who are so depraved their lives are worthless can be trusted? ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2014, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-swallow-their-bs-theyre-family/679292/128 "2014-01-25T06:07:39Z")
> [@Foxy40](#): > > My brother and his wife were burglarized a few weeks back. It appears some classmates of my nephew, knowing he had some games or a games system, decided to break in the house. They broke the lock and came through a back window (after attempting to break in the front door to no avail) and the motion detector went off as soon as they walked into the hallway. They had grabbed a cheap camera and a laptop, got out the same window but dropped the laptop. One of them also lost his hoodie which got stuck on the window frame. > > The 16 year old pair were caught, arrested and are currently out on bail. > > I was at my nieces fifth birthday party this past weekend and while the kids were out playing in the yard (this is Florida), I asked about the incident. During the course of the conversation, my sister in law said she wished she had been home because she would have shot both of them. Immediately I bristled and asked if she was serious. She said she certainly was and my brother piped in that he would do the same and they have every right to do so. I responded, “let me get this straight, you would shoot and kill an unarmed teenager (or even adult) who is in your house robbing you without trying to detain them and call the police?” Absolutely was their response as well as my sister in law offering “And when I said this to the cop that responded, she said she would have less respect for me if I didn’t shoot them.” > > It was then I said something I really shouldn’t have. “Well, then she’s an idiot _too_.” At that point it got loud with both of them arguing their point and me trying to talk over them. Ultimately, I left. > > My son who was there came to my house and reminded me how they are and I should have just ignored their comments for the peace of the family. (Like he did which also aggravated me). I replied that I don’t believe it is okay to allow people to spout ignorance in front of you without at least giving your point of view no matter who they are. > > I spoke to my father the following day and he said I should have just let it go and not bring my politics to a family gathering. I come from a family of right wing republicans and my “liberal” thinking bothers them to no end. However, I don’t even think this was a political issue, I think it was a humanitarian and personal morals issue. > > So. Here’s the question, should a person simply ignore comments they don’t agree with for the peace of the family? Also, if you want to comment whether or not you think they should shoot or shoot not shoot an intruder, knock yourself out. I think that calling somebody an idiot, or an idiot, too, is extremely childish, boorish, and rude, and is just looking for a fight/reason to run one’s trap, and display great knowledge. Knock that nonsense off. Also, somebody who breaks into your house is subjecting themselves to high risk behavior, and many people, each one as wonderful as you, believe that shooting them is acceptable-witness the many states with ‘Castle Doctrine’ (or whatever they are called) laws. And, yes, your ‘humanity’ discourse is politics, and you should not carry on so at a family gathering. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2014, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-swallow-their-bs-theyre-family/679292/129 "2014-01-25T06:16:13Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > …each one as wonderful as you… No snark/sarcasm intended with this phrase. I have had to swallow the bitter pill that everybody’s political opinion, wrong or not, is a product of the minds of people who are just as good as me, regardless of however misinformed they may be. Best wishes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-swallow-their-bs-theyre-family/679292.md?page=6)