# Please welcome CG16, our latest visitor from another planet **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 10, 2016, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152 "2016-10-10T15:52:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/1 "2016-10-10T15:52:45Z")
There’s a lot we can teach CG16 about how the hoo-man world works — He didn’t know that when men get together (like in barber shops) they discuss their relationship problems —[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=797971](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=797971) He doesn’t get why co-workers working two jobs might be tired and moody — [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19520151&postcount=792](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19520151&postcount=792) Experiences significant confusion when the supermarket changes the type of bags they use — [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=805491](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=805491) Doesn’t understand polite excuses — [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=806521](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=806521) Doesn’t understand why someone would feel uncomfortable being alone in public when everyone else is in couples or groups (Bonus: This woman must be marrying her fiancé only for his money; Obviously she doesn’t love him!) — [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=806848](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=806848) He seems to have arrived on earth just a few months ago, and really has learned an astonishing amount in that short time, but we really can help him learn to fit in better. No doubt we shall soon get to the question of what is this thing that we hoo-mans call “love.” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/2 "2016-10-10T16:01:32Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > He seems to have arrived on earth just a few months ago, and really has learned an astonishing amount in that short time, but we really can help him learn to fit in better. “Red light stop, green light go, yellow light go very fast. …” ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/3 "2016-10-10T16:16:10Z")
We do seem to be getting an influx of people with serious handicaps in their ability to process and understand the entire idea of other people and basic human interaction. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/4 "2016-10-10T16:29:03Z")
Yes, and it’s pissing off those who are already here and have serious handicaps in our ability to understand the idea of other people. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/5 "2016-10-10T16:29:21Z")
Honestly, if he could just grasp that mini-rants go in the mini-rant thread and do not deserve their very own posts, I’d be happy. Then again, I’d be happier if he just went back to LiveJournal and stopped inflicting the petty disappointments of his life on us. ---
**Author:** ![Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/channing_idaho_banks/32/250_2.png) [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Channing_Idaho_Banks)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/6 "2016-10-10T16:48:15Z")
No, I will not get out of your way so you can take a picture of the Grand Canyon because you are too stupid to step to the side a little bit. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/7 "2016-10-10T16:51:44Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Yes, and it’s pissing off those who are already here and have serious handicaps in our ability to understand the idea of other people. > > Regards, > Shodan Well, we knew that about you, so thanks for stepping up to self-identify. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/8 "2016-10-10T16:56:50Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > “Red light stop, green light go, yellow light go very fast. …” I got a chance to use that in real life not too long ago. I work in a warehouse and I was getting my license (training) on power trucks (pallet jacks, fork lifts, that kind of shit), and part of the training is knowing the traffic rules of the warehouse. The trainer, a cool guy, says to me, “it’s not that complicated, green means?” “Go.” “Right. Red means?” “Stop.” “Perfect. And, uh, yellow means?” “Go very fast?” “Exactly.” He was a cool trainer. ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/9 "2016-10-10T17:09:14Z")
> [@Finagle](#): > > Honestly, if he could just grasp that mini-rants go in the mini-rant thread and do not deserve their very own posts, I’d be happy. Then again, I’d be happier if he just went back to LiveJournal and stopped inflicting the petty disappointments of his life on us. He’s probably branched out into other threads for his petty complaints about life’s injustices because the folks in the mini-rants threads keep pointing out that his whining is usually asinine for some reason. Because of lack of empathy. Because he can’t understand that other people’s motivations might differ from his own. Because he’s the one who caused his own problem due to his own behavior. Sometimes one, sometimes all. And if someone calls him on how insanely petty his complaint is, he whines about how it’s a mini-rant thread and he’s allowed to mini-rant. Not grasping that others are allowed to mini-rant about _him_. So I suspect he branched out to find some sympathy. Doesn’t look like that’s went the way he probably thought it would. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/10 "2016-10-10T17:15:49Z")
He’s a sock. Formerly **SMG15**. Banned under that name and another one, **tarrell**. Why the mods haven’t made the connection and banned his ass already, I’ll never know. ---
**Author:** ![tenacious\_j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tenacious\_j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tenacious_j)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/11 "2016-10-10T17:16:34Z")
They are barely qualified to be mini rants, yet we engage him until there are three pages of desperate attempts to help him, a few jokes at the guy’s expense that go over his head, and his ridiculous explanations. He is very literal and has specific ideas about how things are supposed to go. If someone moves his cheese the whole universe goes fubar. I really do think he’s got unaddressed autism spectrum issues so I am trying to be patient. It’s not working… ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/12 "2016-10-10T17:16:40Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > “Red light stop, green light go, yellow light go very fast. …” > [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > I got a chance to use that in real life not too long ago. I work in a warehouse and I was getting my license (training) on power trucks (pallet jacks, fork lifts, that kind of shit), and part of the training is knowing the traffic rules of the warehouse. > > The trainer, a cool guy, says to me, “it’s not that complicated, green means?” > “Go.” > “Right. Red means?” > “Stop.” > “Perfect. And, uh, yellow means?” > “Go very fast?” > “Exactly.” > > He was a cool trainer. “What does a yellow light mean?” “Slow down.” “What…does…a…yellow…light…mean?” “Slow down.” “Whaaaaaaat…doeeees…aaaaaa…yeeeeeeeeeeellow…liiiiight…meeeeeean?” “Slow down!” “Whhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaat…doeeeeeeeeesss…” etc. etc. ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/13 "2016-10-10T17:16:52Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Experiences significant confusion when the supermarket changes the type of bags they use — [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=805491](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=805491) I haven’t read the thread. Is it a paper vs plastic bag thing? Maybe **cg16** is a closet bisackual filled with self-hate? ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/14 "2016-10-10T17:19:05Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > “Red light stop, green light go, yellow light go very fast. …” “What does a yellow light mean?” “Slow down.” “OK. What…does…a…yel…low…light…mean?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/15 "2016-10-10T17:23:48Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > “What does a yellow light mean?” > “Slow down.” > “OK. What…does…a…yel…low…light…mean?” 😃 Repeat a few times! Slower each time. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/16 "2016-10-10T17:27:44Z")
> [@dasmoocher](#): > > Repeat a few times! Slower each time. A…few…times A…few…times. A…few…times. ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/17 "2016-10-10T17:39:24Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > A…few…times > A…few…times. > A…few…times. Excellent! Proceed to pay the cashier for your hoo-mon card. Next! ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/18 "2016-10-10T17:48:08Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Yes, and it’s pissing off those who are already here and have serious handicaps in our ability to understand the idea of other people. > > Regards, > Shodan He isn’t discombobulated; he’s differently-combobulated. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/19 "2016-10-10T17:51:59Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > “Red light stop, green light go, yellow light go very fast. …” “Red light stop, green light go, yellow light… wait, I dunno, but yellow lights give me a headache and upset my sense of bonding in a relationship, so just what mind rays are in yellow lights?” ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2016, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152/20 "2016-10-10T19:51:05Z")
At least most of the whining threads he starts are in the Pit. The appropriate place where I can tell him what I really think. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-welcome-cg16-our-latest-visitor-from-another-planet/768152.md?page=2)