# Poems that make you giggle **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 30, 2003, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004 "2003-07-30T22:44:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HDS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/bb73d2/32.png) [@HDS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HDS)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/1 "2003-07-30T22:44:38Z")
From Sally in Our Alley by Henry Carey: When she is by, I leave my work, I love her so sincerely; My master comes like any Turk, And bangs me most severly: But let him bang his bellyful, I’ll bear it all for Sally; She is the darling of my heart, And she lives in our alley. Hur, hur, hur. I’d love to see this read in a junior high school classroom. ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/2 "2003-07-30T23:01:18Z")
The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea In a beautiful pea-green boat: They took some honey, and plenty of money Wrapped up in a five-pound note. The Owl looked up to the stars above, And sang to a small guitar, “O lovely Pussy, O Pussy, my love, What a beautiful Pussy you are, You are, You are! What a beautiful Pussy you are!” ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/3 "2003-07-30T23:37:25Z")
Sadly, I’ll never grow up . . . Macavity: The Mystery Cat (T.S. Eloit) Macavity’s a Mystery Cat: he’s called the Hidden Paw - For he’s the master criminal who can defy the Law. He’s the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad’s despair: For when they reach the scene of crime - _Macavity’s not there!_ 😃 [read on . .](http://coral.lili.uni-bielefeld.de/Classes/Summer97/SemGS/WebLex/OldPossum/oldpossumlex/node11.html) ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/4 "2003-07-31T00:38:42Z")
Mary had a little skirt 'Twas split right up the side. And every time she wore it, The boys could see her thighs. Mary had another skirt 'Twas split right up the front, But she never wore that one. ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/5 "2003-07-31T01:24:52Z")
There once was a lovely young miss Who went down to the river to read A young man in a punt Stuck an oar in her eye And now she has to wear glasses. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/6 "2003-07-31T02:05:00Z")
course jocosity catches the crowd shakespeare and i are often low browed ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/7 "2003-07-31T03:43:57Z")
Chivalry, Shmivalry! Roger the thief has a method he uses for sneaky attacks. Folks who are reading are characteristically always forgetting to guard their own bac… ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/8 "2003-07-31T03:45:14Z")
Oh, and one more I remember from a Muppets-based book I had as a kid: There was a magician named Gonzo Whose fame was known all over Yet his stunts fell flat Every time that he tried And his limericks don’t rhyme either. ---
**Author:** ![Quantum\_Butterfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e79b87/32.png) [@Quantum\_Butterfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quantum_Butterfly)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/9 "2003-07-31T03:57:08Z")
Policeman, policeman! Help me please! Someone has gone and stolen my knees! I’d chase him down but I suspect My feet and legs just won’t connect. -Shel Silverstein ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/10 "2003-07-31T04:17:40Z")
The Mower Philip Larkin The mower stalled, twice; kneeling, I found A hedgehog jammed up against the blades, Killed. It had been in the long grass. I had seen it before, and even fed it, once. Now I had mauled its unobtrusive world Unmendably. Burial was no help: Next morning I got up and it did not. The first day after a death, the new absence Is always the same; we should be careful Of each other, we should be kind While there is still time. When my teacher tried to read this to us, he couldn’t even finish, he was bent over with laughter. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/11 "2003-07-31T04:27:56Z")
The rain it rains upon the Just And the Unjust fella But more on Just because Unjust Has stolen Just’s umbrella. ---
**Author:** ![MizQuirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/94ad74/32.png) [@MizQuirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MizQuirk)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/12 "2003-07-31T07:02:47Z")
Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water, Jill forgot to take her pill And now they have a daughter. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/13 "2003-07-31T07:05:23Z")
There was once a man from Japan whose limericks no one could scan When he was asked why He would simply reply “I always try to fit as many words into the last line as I can.”[ul][sup]ELIOT KUHNER[/sup][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![TeaRoses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@TeaRoses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaRoses)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/14 "2003-07-31T07:21:40Z")
I always got a kick out of [this one](http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/poems/183.html) ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_Holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a5b964/32.png) [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/15 "2003-07-31T08:03:08Z")
_Sure, deck your limbs in pants, Yours are the limbs, my sweeting. You look divine as you advance . . . Have you seen yourself retreating?_ from “What’s the Use?” by Ogden Nash. Another favorite of mine from Ogden Nash is “the Cow”: \*The cow is of bovine ilk; One end is moo, the other is milk. \* Actually, almost anything from Ogden Nash can make me giggle. ---
**Author:** ![bifar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@bifar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bifar)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/16 "2003-07-31T10:14:01Z")
She stood on the bridge at midnight Her lips were all a-quiver She gave a cough Her leg fell off And floated down the river. (boom boom!) I never saw a Purple Cow I never hope to see one But I can tell you, anyhow I’d rather see than be one. \ Oh yes! I wrote ‘The Purple Cow’ I’m sorry now, I wrote it! But I can tell you, anyhow I’ll kill you if you quote it. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/17 "2003-07-31T12:26:30Z")
Although the choice’s outrageous now, (They freeze whatever’s saleable) I never thaw a Purple Cow. I don’t think they’re available. ---
**Author:** ![jinty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dbc845/32.png) [@jinty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jinty)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/18 "2003-07-31T12:29:14Z")
I need to look up the author of this one (he was a minor poet who joined the British army in the second world war, and this is his last work, before he was tragically killed): Thud In the mud Thank Gud Another Dud ---
**Author:** ![Bakhesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Bakhesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bakhesh)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/19 "2003-07-31T14:41:31Z")
Oh, pointy birds Oh, pointy-pointy Anoint my head Anointy-nointy ---
**Author:** ![Humble\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/47e85d/32.png) [@Humble\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Humble_Servant)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004/20 "2003-07-31T15:07:25Z")
Another purple cow offering: I never saw a purple cow. I never hope to see one. But from the milk we’re getting now, There certainly must be one. * * * One day I went to the zoo, For I wanted to see the old gnu. But the old gnu was dead And the new gnu, they said, Was too new a new gnu to view. * * * The man in the wilderness asked of me, How many strawberries grow in the sea? I answered him, as I thought was good, “As many red herrings as grow in the wood.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poems-that-make-you-giggle/192004.md?page=2)