# Poetic movies?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetic-movies/13234>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [January 27, 2000, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetic-movies/13234 "2000-01-27T17:04:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 13\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\
**Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetic-movies/13234/1 "2000-01-27T17:04:00Z")

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Found [this](http://www.brunching.com/features/feature-poemfilms.html) on Brunching Shuttlecocks today. After I recovered from my nice belly laugh, I realized what a great MPSIMS topic this would be.

So go ahead, brutally destroy classic poems in an attempt to turn them into Hollywood blockbusters. I challenge you all.

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“Buffalo Bills? Oh, yeah. The guys that always snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.” --WallyM7

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**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\
**Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetic-movies/13234/2 "2000-01-27T20:30:00Z")

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SEE wanton virgins as they gather their rosebuds in all sorts of NAUGHTY places. Coming this spring, Robert Herrick’s _To the Virgins to Make Much of Time_!

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[http://www.madpoet.com](http://www.madpoet.com)  
Computers have let mankind make mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exception of tequila and handguns.

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**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\
**Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetic-movies/13234/3 "2000-01-27T20:35:00Z")

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Ponder no more, the sequel to the most quotable poem ever written hits the big screen this bleak December. Coming soon – The Raven 2: Nevermore.

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[http://www.madpoet.com](http://www.madpoet.com)  
Computers have let mankind make mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exception of tequila and handguns.

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**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\
**Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetic-movies/13234/4 "2000-01-27T21:24:00Z")

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He fell in love and then fell from the sky. The tragic story of a girl, a boy, and his wings. Based on the classic poem by the enigmatic 20th century author MadPoet…  
Whaddya mean my writing isn’t classic yet?

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[http://www.madpoet.com](http://www.madpoet.com)  
I’ve got a little black book with me poems in. I’ve got a bag, toothbrush, and a comb.

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**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\
**Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetic-movies/13234/5 "2000-01-28T02:03:00Z")

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He will NOT kill them in a house!  
He will NOT kill them with a mouse!

Quentin Tarentino and Spike Lee present:

**Son of "Sam I Am"**

## _He would not, could not…this Summer!_

Love stinks! (Yeah, yeah!)

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**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\
**Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetic-movies/13234/6 "2000-01-28T03:47:00Z")

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Coming soon…

THE WASTE LAND

David Lynch’s 14-hour epic adaptation of T.S. Elliot’s…

THE WASTE LAND

Nothing can prepare you for the nothing that is…

THE WASTE LAND

Fear in a handful of dust…and not much else.

THE WASTE LAND

Starring Keanu Reeves.

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**Author:** ![Gail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Gail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gail)\
**Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetic-movies/13234/7 "2000-01-28T04:25:00Z")

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Coming this Halloween,  
Emily Dickinson’s The Chariot  
Death WILL stop for you!

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–Gail  
“Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place.” --John Cleese

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**Author:** ![Guy\_Propski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5e9695/32.png) [@Guy\_Propski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Propski)\
**Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetic-movies/13234/8 "2000-01-28T13:24:00Z")

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You’ve never seen one before  
Pray you’ll never be one

Wes Craven’s “The Purple Cow.”

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**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\
**Post date:** [January 29, 2000, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetic-movies/13234/9 "2000-01-29T05:13:00Z")

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Hear what the critics are saying:

“the heart-wrenching drama…of a helpless girl’s horrendous illness” --some guy who watches free movies

“impossible to anticipate…wonderful surprise ‘twist’ that concludes the film” --person who snuck in the exit door

You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get queasy…as you, too, watch what happens when Peggy Ann McKay gets…SICK!

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**Author:** ![JBENZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b77776/32.png) [@JBENZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBENZ)\
**Post date:** [January 29, 2000, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetic-movies/13234/10 "2000-01-29T21:35:00Z")

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“Mel Gibson IS Hamlet”

Oh…wait…

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JB  
Lex Non Favet Delicatorum Votis

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**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2000, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetic-movies/13234/11 "2000-01-30T04:51:00Z")

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Coming this fall to a theater near you:

“Schwarzeneggar…”

[Camera zooms in on Arnold & his friendly minigun]

“battles the fiercest enemy known to man.”

[Gratuitous gunfire]

“Nothing can stop it.”

[Gratuitous car crash]

“Nothing can compare.”

[Gratuitous explosion; flash of white transitions to Arnold standing over Grecian Urn]

Arnold: “Die you stinking pot!”

[closeup of shattering ceramics]

“Keat’s _Ode to Grecian Urn_”

Arnold: “Do I wake or sleep? What’s it to you?”

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**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2000, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetic-movies/13234/12 "2000-01-30T05:56:00Z")

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From the master of 19th-century horror, Robert Browning, comes this intense psychological thriller. The story of a Spanish nobleman, an innocent girl, and the mysterious Fra Pandolf, the monk and artist whose work sets in motion this twisted and terrifying tale of love and cruelty.

There…

Behind that curtain…

…is all that remains of MY LAST DUCHESS.  
Catrandom

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**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2000, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetic-movies/13234/13 "2000-01-30T07:29:00Z")

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A bone chilling documentary style thriller of a group of teens lost in the woods… they come across a forking road… one path is worn but the other is ominously unused and overgrown… which will they choose? What dangers lie down the path? Wes Craven presents “The Road Less Traveled”…

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–  
Teeming Millions: [http://fathom.org/teemingmillions](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions)  
“Meat flaps, yellow!” - DrainBead, naked co-ed Twister chat  
O p a l C a t  
[www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com)
