# Poetry Debate **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [November 5, 1999, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981 "1999-11-05T08:50:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 1999, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/21 "1999-11-09T21:42:00Z")
Or was that Tennyson? Damn – I hate being on the road without references. ☹ * * * - Lost in Yonkers.\* or is it _Dazed and Confused_ ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 1999, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/22 "1999-11-09T22:03:00Z")
Ernest Dowson, I think, Spir. Though I’m at work without my references too! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 1999, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/23 "1999-11-09T23:10:00Z")
I found the full, complete poem Data wrote about his cat Spot. He recites it in the _ST:TNG_ episode “Schism”. > [@](#): > > **Ode To Spot** > by Lt. Cmdr. Data > > Felis Cattus, is your taxonomic nomenclature, > an endothermic quadruped carnivorous by nature? > Your visual, olfactory and auditory senses > contribute to your hunting skills, and natural defenses. > > I find myself intrigued by your subvocal oscillations, > a singular development of cat communications > that obviates your basic hedonistic predilection > for a rhythmic stroking of your fur, to demonstrate affection. > > A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents; > you would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance. > And when not being utilized to aide in locomotion, > it often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion. > > O Spot, the complex levels of behaviour you display > connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array. > And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend, > I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend. Now aren’t you glad you asked? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/24 "1999-11-10T00:18:00Z")
Right, well, what the hell. Here’s one of mine: Going to the Doctor Across the street on Leland From the penny candy store The doctor lives in three-o-four She’ll fix you a mojo hand. Ask anybody in the neighborhood She’s for real for certain She burns sandalwood She’s got a bead curtain And a strab albino evil eye Bring her four hundred cash And a piece of red felt, A scab from a rash Coke, fries and a patty melt. Bring a strip of hide Cut from the back Of a hound that died Pissing on the el track On the south side. Bring a bone From the middle finger Of any sinner Borne to a mother In a state of disgrace. Bring a clip of newspaper, Good news from any nation, It don’t have to be the gospel Or even a revelation. Bring dirt from the grave Of a child No savior could save From the germs Or the worms Or the sinners depraved. She’ll fix you a jack That’ll cover your back, Keep a jimson smoker From gatewaying crack, Keep the carpal tunnel off your fists, Keep your name off of secret lists, Save you from AIDS infected needles in payphones, Brain cancer rays from your cell phone, Government taps on your home phone, Scare away teenagers And road ragers And gamers And flamers, Satanic criminals Using subliminal, Block telephone tracers And mind control lasers And ATF blazers, Global warming And El Nino storming, Environmental tobacco And cold, cold UFO Anal probes. And I know it works 'cause I got one Proof against Soviet commies And the global freeze And the killer bees And the Japanese And it ain’t failed me yet. ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/25 "1999-11-10T04:17:00Z")
“A Psalm of Life” by . . . . . **Longfellow** \ heh heh heh he said —\* oops, ran that into the ground already. Guess there’s nothing left to do but bask in my triumph at poetic jeapordy (minor works by under-appreciated American poets for $200, please) and make fun of somebody for no reason. Hey Polycarp, take two quatrains and sashimi in the morning. * * * - The best lack all conviction The worst are full of passionate intensity. \* ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 1999, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/26 "1999-11-11T13:21:00Z")
I’ll play for the hell of it, with something I wrote in high school (teen angst!!) after running away from home never to return: **Hey, Ma!** _Ya don’t treat me right. Never did. Always looked down on me: fruit of your womb like pus in your boil a lamb for your slaughter Hey, Ma! Wake up. rub the dried blood vengeance from your eye I’m no sacrificial Isaac, fad child no modern inconvenience. It was your choice. First I cramped your stomach. Now I cramp your style._ More crap here: [Opal’s poems](http://fathom.org/opalcat/poems.html) * * * – O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![davidbrantley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@davidbrantley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidbrantley)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 1999, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/27 "1999-11-11T17:52:00Z")
Poets are both clean and warm And most are far above the norm. -Monty Python ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 1999, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/28 "1999-11-11T22:27:00Z")
Do you realize that 50% of the population is below average? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/29 "1999-11-12T00:20:00Z")
…except in Lake Wobegon! ---
**Author:** ![Phaedrus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@Phaedrus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phaedrus)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/30 "1999-11-12T08:17:00Z")
Poly, LOL!!! Johnny, well, well, well, nice work! That was a REAL surprise and a treat. * * * That which a man had rather were true he more readily believes. ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 1999, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/31 "1999-11-16T19:53:00Z")
And now for a little relief from all this angst; you’ll know what I’m talking about if you ever had a passing interest in the “flat earth” thread… O, what can we say about Phaedy? His sources are just a bit shady; Our eager interest Soon headed due west And the light in our eyes got all fade-y He whined and he cried just to stall He thinks he’s the greatest of all The arrogant ass Made posts snide and crass And slowed our thread down to a crawl. “I’ve studied philosophers dead In science and business I’ve led also construction, guitar, Are other hats that I wore Just to cover my hugely swelled head.” Then out came our andros and phil; Zinged him quite hard, they sure will Toss off a good flame… Phaed’s reponse was quite lame He whined loud til we’d all had our fill. Reviving the thread, jab and glee Argued their points manfully And beeruser warn’t drunk and who woulda thunk he could use logic as well as could we? Our God of the board, David B Was hated particularly And drFidelis Who never said “f\*ck this!” Should be sainted immediately Tom argued with grace and with style; The good Doc settled in for a while; It was over three weeks Before Phaedy speaks More than wild philosophical bile. Phaedy’s PO’d at Dawkins and Gould: “So Godless our children are schooled! You dirty old sod Just leave it to God I’m the smart one, you’re all overruled!” “Don’t care what your new science books say In books of new age I’ve the True way! All your clear proper terms Just will help reconfirm That my mind, always closed it will stay!” “If I get my def’nition from _Redbook_ I’ll honor it over your science book Whatever you say I’ve the only right way My certainty cannot be shook!” Now at post four hundred and fifty Though with words Phaedy’s never been thrifty He now says that he’s won And the argument’s done Which seems to us terribly shifty. What arguments had he ever won? Can you even think of a one? But he declares himself winner Though he can’t outthink my dinner… He’s one arrogant son-of-a-gun! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 1999, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/32 "1999-11-16T20:35:00Z")
And for those of you who don’t have enough free time to waste reading every single message in the General Questions forum, I posted the following to “So, is the cat dead or alive?” a few days ago: AWB wrote: > [@](#): > > Here’s Cecils (quite literary) reply about Schroedinger’s cat: [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1\_122.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_122.html) . Oh my! Now I feel so inadequate near All those talking in prose in this thread over here. See, the letter addressed to dear Cecil from one Of us Teeming Millions tried to have some wee fun By talking of this famous half-living cat In dactylic tetrameter – rhyme! Believe that? But our Unca Cecil, he rose to the task And answered the question the fellow did ask With a rhyme of his own! And a longer one, too! Like A Visit from Saint Nicholas, it rang true. Or maybe it sounded more like Dr. Seuss Except without Seuss’s fake words flopping loose Like “oobleck” or “hoober-bloob” or “yuzz-matuzz” Or “frobozzle frobizzle frobnoy snooper snuzz”. And like always, ol’ Cecil pulled through in the end With a picture of how quantum physics doth wend Through its sordid, tumultuous history, full Of big names like “Einstein”, who on dice did mull By saying that God doesn’t – can’t – play with them. (This despite having won a Nobel for Q.M.!) And I see as I write this the challenge he faced – “He” being Cecil, with whose words we’re graced – Because rhyming and making sense at the same time Would sure be a heck of a lot easier if I got to put a couple of extra syllables into a line. Burma Shave. * * * Quick-N-Dirty Aviation: Trading altitude for airspeed since 1992. ---
**Author:** ![Sake\_Samurai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sake\_Samurai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sake_Samurai)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 1999, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/33 "1999-11-17T02:28:00Z")
Very clever posts **Gaudere** (glad someone recognized and replied to Phaedrus’s poetic barbs) & **tracer** (LOL at the last couplet), but this was hardly my intent when I began this thread. Do either of you write more serious material? If you do, I’m betting it’s pretty damn good - let’s see it! * * * Hell is Other People. ---
**Author:** ![Phaedrus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@Phaedrus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phaedrus)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 1999, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/34 "1999-11-17T10:07:00Z")
Yes, Gaudere, if you have any more poems I would like to see them. Your talent in poetry has remain hidden, much to our loss. Please post any others that you may have. I was REALLY impressed with your work! You made fun of me in the most delightful way! I was REALLY pleased. What a mind! Really! Thank you for your poem. I LOVED it! Yours, Phaedrus * * * That which a man had rather were true he more readily believes. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 1999, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/35 "1999-11-17T21:28:00Z")
I don’t write “serious” poetry unless I set it to my own music. And even then, I’ve written songs like “Deuterium, or How to Get Fused for Less Than $200 a Week”. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 1999, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/36 "1999-11-25T06:43:00Z")
Glass by Matt McLauchlin for Matt Chisholm my monitor is of glass and it is cold even when i read your typing the glass is also over your photograph surrounded in rigid metal imitations of flowers and it is cold too even though it holds in your beauty there is too much glass glass is for a museum to hold rare and ancient artifacts when we shattered the glass last time your skin in the morning was warm and soft, and your lips were moist. the barrier of glass like ice has a way of growing back. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 1999, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/37 "1999-11-24T20:08:00Z")
Song for Sarajevo Not so long ago, and not so far away War broke out in a land Where once many people lived together peacefully And the world watched and could not understand How wrongs from 1,000 years ago could be made right by a rocket Killing children in a crowded market square. So they loaded tanks and choppers and sent cargo planes with soldiers With guns to try to bring the peace back there. And the river of hate begins as a stream Of fear that flows from the soul And it poisons the mind, and it hardens the heart Til the hatred and fear take control But with stones of love and planks of trust and steel as strong as faith, We can build a bridge to reach the other shore And then cross the bridge hand in hand reunited with our fellow man And end the hate and fear forevermore. Home here in America, there’s hatred flowing through our towns Where kids grow up in gangs of black and white And children on the sidewalk are shot down by strangers driving by, And good people fear to leave their homes at night And the Anglo’s fear Hispanics and the teachers fear the students; At work there’s no trust between the women and the men. And the gay folk fear the rednecks, and the rednecks fear the FBI Will we ever be the United States again? And the river of hate begins as a stream Of fear that flows from the soul And it poisons the mind, and it hardens the heart Til the hatred and fear take control But with stones of love and planks of trust and steel as strong as faith, We can build a bridge to reach the other shore And then cross the bridge hand in hand reunited with our fellow man And end the hate and fear forevermore * * * Sue from El Paso Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted. ---
**Author:** ![Sake\_Samurai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sake\_Samurai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sake_Samurai)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 1999, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/38 "1999-11-25T08:37:00Z")
Matt: I liked the ending of your poem a lot. I wrote this one about an unforgettable experience: > [@](#): > > **Cindercone** > > She wears the mountain > well > parading in cindercone brilliance > circles about me > while I drop and kneel > on ashes and golden maple leaves > so completely > lost to her > > The soot > the scent > of the fruits of spring > such passion > burried beneath > now pushing > through > the maple leaf blanket > > I consider this > her one imperfection ---
**Author:** ![bj0rn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@bj0rn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bj0rn)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 1999, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/39 "1999-11-25T13:55:00Z")
pages not paper pens are not used now will naturally be later never in my world argued portraits and pictures pages of you million miniatures, many you dont know who words of my will where are you lost and ill listening to you life will never leave love is not alone you alone can not cleave the atom of your clone why you are where whispering with ticks nobody is never here never hearing your click i can not be your country could not talk your tounge i can not be your country can not talk your tounge i am not lost to the living life though i do not know good pages are constantly giving good life to everybody now bj0rn - hmm…perhaps it needs a bit of work from a native english speaker…but i belive the message got through :o) ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 1999, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981/40 "1999-11-25T16:36:00Z")
happy thanksgiving, friends. creative writing has never been among my strong points. i stand in awe of the talent represented here. sharing my favorite: Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll ‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. “beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious bandersnatch! He took his vorpal sword in hand: Long time the manxome foe he sought~ So rested he by the Tumtum tree, And stood awhile in thought. And, as in uffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came wiffling through the tulgey wood And burbled as it came! One, two! One, two! And through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with it’s head He went galumphing back. “And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! He chortled in his joy. ‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. once again, happy thanksgiving, my friends. * * * “don’t get strung out by the way that i look, don’t judge a book by it’s cover” (tim curry as dr. franknfurter in rhps) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poetry-debate/16981.md?page=3)