# Poignant Jezebel article "When Can I Say I'll Be Alone Forever?" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 27, 2016, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poignant-jezebel-article-when-can-i-say-ill-be-alone-forever/775688 "2016-12-27T05:26:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poignant-jezebel-article-when-can-i-say-ill-be-alone-forever/775688/41 "2016-12-29T16:48:37Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > She’s in tears because her friends were being dicks. Having tears in ones eyes when people are being dicks to you is 100% understandable and not at all indicative of depression, but rather having a beating heart. Not all sadness and disappointment is OMG DEPRESSION! > > She’s not obligated to sing the praises of her life just to convince the skeptical peanut gallery that she doesn’t have a sad and miserable life. I have no doubt that if she did play up the good things in her life, you or some other person would snort “Is that all? Sounds like a big loser.” > > So you think the point of the article was to convince you that she’s happy being single? No wonder you’re confused. > > I thought the point was expressed pretty clear in the title. She wants to be able to tell people about her life without having to listen to a bunch of bullshit psychobabble or sit through a bunch of stupid advice. Even if she is 100% unhappy with her life, that does not mean she should have to endure an interrogation. > > Why do you think she was trying to sell you on the virtues of singlehood? There is absolutely no indication that this was her angle. This, 100%. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poignant-jezebel-article-when-can-i-say-ill-be-alone-forever/775688/42 "2016-12-29T16:57:42Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > So you think the point of the article was to convince you that she’s happy being single? No wonder you’re confused. No, she doesn’t have to convince me of anything, but as long as she describes her life as “alone forever” people like me will be there to repeat the dinner party experience that she enjoyed so much. She only has to convince us of something if she wants us to do something different. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poignant-jezebel-article-when-can-i-say-ill-be-alone-forever/775688/43 "2016-12-29T17:01:15Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Anyone else thinking of the “[Lowered Expectation](https://www.google.com/#q=%22lowered+expectations%22+madtv)s” bits from MadTV? I’ll see your MadTV sketch and counter with SNL’s [Lower Your Standards](http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/lower-your-standards/n9932?snl=1). ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poignant-jezebel-article-when-can-i-say-ill-be-alone-forever/775688/44 "2016-12-29T17:15:57Z")
> [@dracoi](#): > > No, she doesn’t have to convince me of anything, but as long as she describes her life as “alone forever” people like me will be there to repeat the dinner party experience that she enjoyed so much. > > She only has to convince us of something if she wants us to do something different. So you’re going to keep being a dick to _your_ single friends because this writer wasn’t able to convince you that she’s not lying to herself about how truly miserable and awful her life is? Does that really make sense to you? ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poignant-jezebel-article-when-can-i-say-ill-be-alone-forever/775688/45 "2016-12-29T17:19:41Z")
> [@dracoi](#): > > No, she doesn’t have to convince me of anything, but as long as she describes her life as “alone forever” people like me will be there to repeat the dinner party experience that she enjoyed so much. > > She only has to convince us of something if she wants us to do something different. What is this supposed to mean? That she isn’t “alone forever,” but for some reason willfully refuses to grasp low-hanging dating and relationship fruit dangling in front of her? :smack::rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poignant-jezebel-article-when-can-i-say-ill-be-alone-forever/775688/46 "2016-12-29T17:33:30Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > She’s in tears because her friends were being dicks. Having tears in ones eyes when people are being dicks to you is 100% understandable and not at all indicative of depression, but rather having a beating heart. Not all sadness and disappointment is OMG DEPRESSION! > [@The Article](#): > > I have no simple way to describe the slow, dull ache of separation from physical and emotional intimacy after years without it. To roll on the floor drunk-sobbing about being single at this point would be ludicrous. That sounds like depression to me. She’s not sad because her friends were mean. She’s feeling a slow and apparently hopeless disconnection from intimate human connection. Note that she doesn’t roll around on the floor sobbing not because she feels fine, but because to do so at this point would be absurd. This matches my experience of depression. I didn’t spend most of my time sobbing. I spent most of my time _doing nothing_ because everything felt empty and meaningless. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poignant-jezebel-article-when-can-i-say-ill-be-alone-forever/775688/47 "2016-12-29T17:45:00Z")
The author cited in the OP, Aimee Lutkin, is like 35 or so. Being single at that age for a long time is tough. I’ve been there. It can change in a week, too. The truth is you don’t know. What I do know is that wallowing in it is pointless and yet emotionally hard to overcome. It IS hard to keep up hope you’ll find someone, and the advice does seem imbecilic. ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poignant-jezebel-article-when-can-i-say-ill-be-alone-forever/775688/48 "2016-12-29T23:33:04Z")
Just a side note on all the comments in this thread assuming that any non-trollish-looking person could get into a relationship, and ugly people have to settle, and incredibly attractive people can always find a relationship: Looking around at the people I know, there’s no correlation either between physical attractiveness level and relationship status, or between attractiveness level and settling. On a rough count, the gorgeous ones, the downright plain ones and the in-the-middle ones are all equally likely to be single, in a relationship with the dream partner, or settling for someone who’s not the dream partner. That goes equally for men and women. The person I know who ‘settled’ most blatantly - and admitted it - was also one of the most attractive. Anecdotal, but there you go. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poignant-jezebel-article-when-can-i-say-ill-be-alone-forever/775688/49 "2016-12-30T01:13:09Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > I’m not sure who, if any, are considered role models for the perpetually single. Tesla? Not Tesla ( purportedly a rather remote relative of mine ). That whole “probably died a virgin who fell in romantic love with a pigeon” thing that gets trotted out from time to time doesn’t come off as terribly pro-single. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poignant-jezebel-article-when-can-i-say-ill-be-alone-forever/775688/50 "2016-12-30T01:17:55Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > The author cited in the OP, Aimee Lutkin, is like 35 or so. Being single at that age for a long time is tough. I’ve been there. It can change in a week, too. I’m 40. been single the entire time. eta: and I mean the _entire_ time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poignant-jezebel-article-when-can-i-say-ill-be-alone-forever/775688.md?page=2)