# Pointless superhero secret identities **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 7, 2012, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064 "2012-03-07T19:04:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Sister\_Vigilante](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Sister\_Vigilante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sister_Vigilante)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2012, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/61 "2012-03-09T04:04:14Z")
Oh I’ve thought a lot about it. On my salary, I can’t afford to be up all night fighting crime and then go to work (Peter Parker would have been so fired by now). If I even once considered using it for good, I would try to hide my identity, and not just because people I love would be endangered; I just wouldn’t want people to know, period. (They call me “mysterious” at work for a reason.). I’d try to make it so no one even knew what happened. Of course that would depend on my power(s). If it’s something like invisibility, teleportation, or telekinesis, all mine baby. Fend for yourselves. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2012, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/62 "2012-03-09T04:14:28Z")
There’s another reason to have a secret identity: [For the lulz.](http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/8835/attachmentxx.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/63 "2012-03-09T23:55:30Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > What happened was that he was run ragged because whenever he went to stop for a coffee or a bite to eat, people were asking him why he wasn’t out superheroing. The idea that a superhero might need to take a mental health day, or even stop and catch his breath now and then, just didn’t occur to them. My dad was a cop and he said this exact thing happen to cops all the time when they’re on their lunch breaks. “Why aren’t you out arresting criminals?! This is how my tax dollars are spent?!” > [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Well, but > > his wife later got murdered. By the ex-wife of another superhero > [@DocCathode](#): > > It seems to be just the Lanterns of Earth’s sector who have secret identities. > > ETA > > Except Guy of course. And of course, that’s Guy’s ego at work there. “Am I a superhero? DAMN RIGHT I AM!” Same reason that his is the only GL ring that makes noise. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2012, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/64 "2012-03-10T01:54:14Z")
> [@Mister\_Rik](#): > > Same reason that his is the only GL ring that makes noise. Except [Rot Lop Fan](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F_Sharp_Bell#Rot_Lop_Fan)’s, of course. I suppose you could argue that his isn’t strictly a _Lantern_ ring. ---
**Author:** ![Cayuga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Cayuga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cayuga)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/65 "2012-03-13T01:48:04Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > There’s another reason to have a secret identity: > > [For the lulz.](http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/8835/attachmentxx.jpg) Dear heavens, that’s funny! Thank you for that. ---
**Author:** ![Scupper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/66 "2012-03-13T07:20:13Z")
> [@Morbo](#): > > I’m pretty sure I’d recognize someone as drop-dead gorgeous as Lynda Carter even if her disguise was that rubber suit from American Horror Story. I’ll be in my bunk. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Umbrella](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Mister\_Umbrella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Umbrella)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/67 "2012-03-13T08:04:20Z")
Wonder Woman’s seems most pointless: i always forget she has one. Captain Marvel’s (DC) seemed silly too as he didn’t really have much going for him. Thought to his credit, he was a completely different person. ---
**Author:** ![Scupper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/68 "2012-03-13T18:12:10Z")
> [@Mister\_Umbrella](#): > > Captain Marvel’s (DC) seemed silly too as he didn’t really have much going for him. Thought to his credit, he was a completely different person. While having a helpless alter-ego who has to utter a magic word to become powerful no doubt originated as a plot device to avoid the Superman problem (lack of vulnerability makes it difficult to come up with credible threats) and to create a more identifiable hero for young kids, the power to become Captain Marvel wasn’t intended to completely overshadow Billy Batson’s life. The fact that he had to spend a significant part of his life _without_ that power was probably a wise decision by the wizard Shazam (at least in retrospect). The Alan Moore “Miracleman” series, which was analogous to Captain Marvel, showed what that amount of power could do to the psyche of the person in question when he (Kid Miracle) didn’t have to revert to his mortal form for years on end. It was not pretty. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/69 "2012-03-13T18:52:37Z")
Did Jocasta (the robot-chick) ever have a secret identity? ---
**Author:** ![Bakhesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Bakhesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bakhesh)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/70 "2012-03-13T20:47:06Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > Did Jocasta (the robot-chick) ever have a secret identity? Don’t think so. Her boyfriend, Machine Man, used to go about as Aaron Stack though ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/71 "2012-03-13T21:00:16Z")
> [@Bakhesh](#): > > Don’t think so. Her boyfriend, Machine Man, used to go about as Aaron Stack though Machine Man has one of the _best_ justified secret identities. All the other androids the project made went insane and became homicidal and/or suicidal. X-51 was the only one who stayed sane, because Stack had given him an identity and guided his emotional development. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2012, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/72 "2012-03-16T23:08:10Z")
The Superman thing got really weird in some Byrne era (or a few years thereafter, but before they started Zero Hour Hypertime Reality Punch Final Crisis 52ing everything up) story where Lois or Perry or someone at the Planet figured out the whole Kent/Superman connection. So what does Supes do? Concocts some bullshit about how the Kents found him (well, that’s not bullshit, but here it comes) and raised him side by side with Clark, like they were brothers. WHAT? What purpose did that serve? How is that any better than “yep you got me, I’m Clark, but don’t tell anyone kthx”? That’s almost as ridiculous as the silver age story where revealed he used super-hypnotism to make everyone on Earth think Clark Kent was a bald fat guy as part of his identity cover. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2012, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/73 "2012-03-16T23:57:11Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > That’s almost as ridiculous as the silver age story where revealed he used super-hypnotism to make everyone on Earth think Clark Kent was a bald fat guy as part of his identity cover. Minor nitpick: the balding Clark appears thin and frail – not fat. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/74 "2012-03-18T02:19:28Z")
Doc Cathode: > [@](#): > > There really is an aunt Petunia? I always assumed she was just a figure of speech. That’s what everyone had assumed. John Byrne decided to reveal her as real in Fantastic Four # 239. ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/75 "2012-03-19T13:01:01Z")
Didn’t the Hulk at some point have some lame “Mr. Fix-it” identity, where he was still giant, green, and unbelievably strong but somehow pretended NOT to be the Hulk? I’m really asking, here, because that was the impression I got from seeing that persona in a few odd issues but I never got into the Hulk enough to follow the comic for long. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/76 "2012-03-19T13:17:00Z")
> [@Cuckoorex](#): > > Didn’t the Hulk at some point have some lame “Mr. Fix-it” identity, where he was still giant, green, and unbelievably strong but somehow pretended NOT to be the Hulk? I’m really asking, here, because that was the impression I got from seeing that persona in a few odd issues but I never got into the Hulk enough to follow the comic for long. In those days I remember him being grey. ---
**Author:** ![Bakhesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Bakhesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bakhesh)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/77 "2012-03-19T13:19:23Z")
> [@Cuckoorex](#): > > Didn’t the Hulk at some point have some lame “Mr. Fix-it” identity, where he was still giant, green, and unbelievably strong but somehow pretended NOT to be the Hulk? I’m really asking, here, because that was the impression I got from seeing that persona in a few odd issues but I never got into the Hulk enough to follow the comic for long. He adopted Mr Fixit so he could hide out in Las Vegas for a while. He had undergone a mutation at the time, which meant he was grey, had average intelligence, and wasn’t quite as strong. He started working as a leg breaker for a casino owner, and used to walk around in designer suits. As the Hulk is well known in the marvel universe as green and stupid and walking round half naked, no one really made the connection. I think he had officially been declared dead at the time too It was all during Peter David’s run, so it actually worked pretty well ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/78 "2012-03-19T14:59:02Z")
I liked that arc. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/79 "2012-03-19T15:26:25Z")
> [@Sister\_Vigilante](#): > > Oh I’ve thought a lot about it. On my salary, I can’t afford to be up all night fighting crime and then go to work (Peter Parker would have been so fired by now). If I even once considered using it for good, I would try to hide my identity, and not just because people I love would be endangered; I just wouldn’t want people to know, period. (They call me “mysterious” at work for a reason.). I’d try to make it so no one even knew what happened. Of course that would depend on my power(s). If it’s something like invisibility, teleportation, or telekinesis, all mine baby. Fend for yourselves. I like that this poster already has a SuperDoperName. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064/80 "2012-03-19T17:15:46Z")
> [@CaptMurdock](#): > > He actually set up the Maria Stark Foundation (named after his mother) to fund the Avengers, so that his own financial vicissitudes wouldn’t affect the team. > > He even created a “Randall Pierce” person who The Guy Hired to Play Iron Man all those years ago. Stark thought ahead about this stuff. > Yep. This was because Stan could wanted to try having superheroes with no secret identities, just to be different. IIRC, early in the FF series, Johnny Storm tried to keep his Human Torch identity secret. He used to exit the house by zooming up the chimney. There’s a story where it’s revealed to him that everybody knew his secret, but played along for some reason, like to give him privacy or something. Why can’t I remember important things? 😕 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superhero-secret-identities/615064.md?page=5)