# Pointless Superpowers!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 26, 2005, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superpowers/286711 "2005-01-26T04:33:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SilentButDeftly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/0ea827/32.png) [@SilentButDeftly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SilentButDeftly)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superpowers/286711/41 "2005-01-27T20:05:06Z")
Some more I thought up: Lightning-quick blinking The uncanny ability to tell the _exact_ moment a burger has been cooked medium well Generating a magnetic field so that when you flip a coin, it lands heads up **60** % of the time. The ability to smell into the future Can telekinetically control Kleenex, one sheet at a time ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superpowers/286711/42 "2005-01-27T20:50:47Z")
> [@Odinoneeye](#): > > Complete knowledge of every word from every script of Friends Hmmm…it seems my wife has a superpower, then. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superpowers/286711/43 "2005-01-27T20:54:05Z")
> [@SilentButDeftly](#): > > Generating a magnetic field so that when you flip a coin, it lands heads up **60** % of the time. I’d make a fortune. The ability to eat corn on the cob without getting any stuck between your teeth. The ability to determine the cinematographer of a film merely by watching the trailer. One Hundred times the average man’s belly-button lint production. Super-strong eyelashes The ability to not be charged for towels and bathrobes missing from hotel rooms. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superpowers/286711/44 "2005-01-27T21:08:23Z")
> [@Catalyst](#): > > The ability to speak with any creature on Earth, but only in profanity. Fuckin’ eh! The ability to summon all nearby fishsticks and frozen seafood to do your bidding. The ability to translate any language into modern Sanskrit. The ability to know all about any snail, just by touching it. Projectile vomiting on demand. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superpowers/286711/45 "2005-01-27T21:25:46Z")
> [@Vagus](#): > > The ability to sunburn faster than any other person on the planet. Behold my Super-White Superpowers! I can do that! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superpowers/286711/46 "2005-01-28T04:38:35Z")
The ability to make any goat you come in contact with really dislike you. The ability to control the weather…on Neptune. Super speed…but only while sleep walking. The ability to change the color of the socks of anyone besides yourself. Telekinetic ability limited to just bending spoons. The ability to poke yourself in the eyes with extreme precision. The ability to see the cosmic microwave background. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superpowers/286711/47 "2005-01-28T05:24:06Z")
> [@Catalyst](#): > > The ability to speak with any creature on Earth, but only in profanity. > . Useless? You haven’t met my cat, have you? ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superpowers/286711/48 "2005-01-28T05:31:16Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > can cause computers to crash by looking at them funny (works best on windoze based boxes) > > the ability to “scare” electronic devices into working by mumbling > > the ability to fart helium The first two aren’t useless at all, and the 3rd can be used to amuse teenagers…and blow up balloons for free… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-superpowers/286711.md?page=2)