# Pointless Ways You'd Blow Billions of Dollars **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 23, 2002, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475 "2002-12-23T03:28:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![1kBR\_Kid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/dc4da7/32.png) [@1kBR\_Kid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1kBR_Kid)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/21 "2002-12-23T08:47:10Z")
Build a time machine. Go back about 15 years and prop up the Soviet Union. I’m a soldier and I’m fascinated by their military hardware and the Cold War days in general. What if… …the Sukhoi S-37 went into frontline service 5 years ago? (forward-swept wing prototype fighter) …they had squadrons of massive Ekranoplan cargo carriers? …they had stealth fighters and bombers to rival ours? …we felt the need to push our own R&D further to counter theirs? OK, on a more practical note, I would have every light fixture on the planet converted to a more “dark-sky friendly” type. I have lived in or near big cities most of my life. I’m in the New Mexico desert for a while and the night sky blows my mind. On moonless nights we can see the Milky Way. If I could give billions for for people to see this, I would. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/22 "2002-12-23T08:51:42Z")
I would fly somewhere, anywhere, say, Maryland. And I would buy all the pants in the entire state. No one in Maryland can wear pants without going through me! BWA HA HA HA HA!! ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/23 "2002-12-23T11:07:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blibbleblabble \* > \*\*You know those “Play Places” for kids at fast food restaurants? I’d buy a small country and fill the entire place with a play place so big that people can live there and go camping in the ‘play wilderness’. It would be strong enough for adults of course. \*\* Welcome to the Boards, **Blibbleblabble**! Nice to see that at least one of my threads has inspired someone to register! ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/24 "2002-12-23T12:04:45Z")
I would quit my job and retire. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/25 "2002-12-23T15:01:04Z")
I’ll join in the “buy a country” crowd. Possibly the Bahamas, Belize, or Trinidad & Tobago. I’d take a few friends, give them billions per year, and ask them to produce useful interstellar travel. I’ll fund the R&D of all the Dopers’ efforts to build a time machine. Then fund some historical research, artifact replication, and language & culture lessons. Then train a small research team and outfit us with cameras. Then go spend the High Holidays in Jerusalem, during the Second Temple period. Fund a massive effort to wean transportation off the oil standard. And while I’m at it, let’s develop commercial-grade nuclear fusion power. And to swipe a line from Douglas Adams: I’ll endow a foundation, which forever will throw THE BIGGEST PARTY EVER on my birthday! ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/26 "2002-12-23T15:04:11Z")
I’d buy everyone a spoon. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/27 "2002-12-23T15:31:03Z")
Sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/28 "2002-12-23T15:41:54Z")
1 billion dollars? I’d spend $999,000,000.00 of it on booze and women. The rest of it, I’d just piss away. ---
**Author:** ![DougC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@DougC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DougC)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/29 "2002-12-23T16:44:27Z")
- - - To start, I’d get a big ladder and hang a swing from the 635-ft tall [St. Louis Gateway Arch](http://homepages.apci.net/~peredaj/saint_louis_photo_gallery.htm) and swing from it. For the afternoon or so. ~ ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/30 "2002-12-23T16:44:52Z")
I would spend a couple of years travelling around riding the world’s best roller coasters. Then fund the construction of a couple of ultimate coasters (cost is no object). I would throw some mega parties in fabulous places – fly my loved ones in and hire people like Springsteen to provide the musical entertainment. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/31 "2002-12-23T17:03:16Z")
Before 9-11 I always wondered what would happen if you flew a jet into a (empty) skyscraper. Buying a skyscraper and then flying a remote control jet into it just to see what would happen. That would be a quick and pointless waste of a billion dollars. Since we know what would happen now. I guess I would like to see how many strategically placed hand grenades it would take to blow up the moon. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/32 "2002-12-23T17:03:47Z")
To ensure life immitating art, I would hire a massive fleet of aircraft and and have them drop Skittles candies across the entire face of the Earth. ---
**Author:** ![Kickback\_Joe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/cdc98d/32.png) [@Kickback\_Joe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kickback_Joe)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/33 "2002-12-23T18:23:09Z")
Buy up all the advertising on the Radio. Everyone could enjoy commecial free radio. Just doing my part for the betterment of mankind! Then Over to Ultrafilter’s Pad for a Party! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/34 "2002-12-23T18:25:11Z")
I would rebuild the 7 Wonders of The World! And then found my own country— **The A.S.T.N.–Antarctic Sub-Terrainian Nation**! A brainwashed harem of Supermodels might fit in there somewhere. No. If you got billion$, the Supermodels swarm around , cooing, flirting, facinating, & trying to brainwash _you_. ---
**Author:** ![I\_am\_Sparticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@I\_am\_Sparticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_am_Sparticus)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/35 "2002-12-23T18:35:06Z")
I’d corner the market on really cool jewelry. Sparkly things excite the ladies. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_of\_Graymatter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/74df32/32.png) [@Baron\_of\_Graymatter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_of_Graymatter)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/36 "2002-12-23T18:42:23Z")
1. Buy Baseball Hall of Fame. Let Pete Rose and Shoeless Joe Jackson in. 2. Buy United States government…all at once. No more pissing around buying one congressman at a time. 3. Turn moon into giant 8-ball. 4. Monorail…Monorail…Monorail… ---
**Author:** ![Debaser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3da27b/32.png) [@Debaser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Debaser)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/37 "2002-12-23T19:18:58Z")
I’d buy a fast server for the dopeboards to run on. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Spoonbender](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spoonbender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoonbender)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/38 "2002-12-23T19:22:41Z")
I would buy the rights to the entire _Star Wars_ franchise from George Lucas (this might cost more than any of the previous proposals in this thread). I would then have a team of commandos travel the world, destroy every copy of the “Special Edition” trilogy, and replace them with the fully restored, digitally remastered, Han-shooting-first original trilogy. I would also have Episodes I and II destroyed and hire a new director to create Episodes I-III from scratch. ---
**Author:** ![Debaser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3da27b/32.png) [@Debaser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Debaser)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/39 "2002-12-23T19:28:43Z")
Oh, and I would buy a city, like say, Boston and force everyone to leave. Then I would purchase a Carrier group and a mechanized infantry battalion (or just pay to have them built for me) and use my little private army to have paintball games like nobody’s ever seen or heard about. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475/40 "2002-12-23T19:33:29Z")
I’d like to buy the world some coke. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pointless-ways-youd-blow-billions-of-dollars/144475.md?page=3)