# Polar Bare Attack Sub **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 30, 2003, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polar-bare-attack-sub/178611 "2003-05-30T19:48:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polar-bare-attack-sub/178611/1 "2003-05-30T19:48:44Z")
Just saw this and was amused, so I thought I would share:[Polar Bear Attacks Sub](http://abcnews.go.com/sections/world/WorldNewsTonight/polarbear030530.html) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polar-bare-attack-sub/178611/2 "2003-05-30T20:27:06Z")
From the thread title, I assumed this had something to do with the Polar Bares, a group of people who jump naked into icy waters. Apparently not. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polar-bare-attack-sub/178611/3 "2003-05-30T20:51:35Z")
I love the Navy guy’s quote. “Rear rudders of U.S. subs are not designed as snacks, but the bear had to find that out for himself.” Bahaha! ---
**Author:** ![Lucki\_Chaarms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lucki\_Chaarms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucki_Chaarms)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polar-bare-attack-sub/178611/4 "2003-05-31T00:56:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RTFirefly \* > \*\*From the thread title, I assumed this had something to do with the Polar Bares, a group of people who jump naked into icy waters. Apparently not. \*\* And _I_ thought it was about some naked eskimo types building an underwater assault vehicle. OK, so I didn’t really think that, but it occured to me that the thread title could be a pun of some sort on an equally crazy event. LC ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polar-bare-attack-sub/178611/5 "2003-05-31T01:04:05Z")
LOL. Well - I wasn’t sober when I wrote it. But hey, if bad spelling is the worst thing you can say about me, life isn’t so bad… ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polar-bare-attack-sub/178611/6 "2003-05-31T01:11:48Z")
Oh, sure. Laugh it up. But if he had succeeded, he’d have eaten like a _king_! ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Magic8ball](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Miss\_Magic8ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Magic8ball)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polar-bare-attack-sub/178611/7 "2003-05-31T01:17:24Z")
[hijack] I would just like to say that I have a pet polar bear. His name is Buddy, and I ride him to school every day. He also hunts for me, knows cpr, and can jump through a hoop. A very big hoop, but a hoop all the same. [/hijack] And I don’t think Buddy would chew on the Rudders of a submarine. He prefers Sardines. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polar-bare-attack-sub/178611/8 "2003-05-31T01:40:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by manhattan \* > \*\*Oh, sure. Laugh it up. But if he had succeeded, he’d have eaten like a _king_! \*\* Hmmmm. There’s an old joke running through my beer-soaked mind comparing a sub to a lobster and stating that the shell is annoying but the meat is excellent… maybe it is a Larson cartoon. I dunno. I guess the spelling _is_ badly, but I _still_ think it is a fun new story. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polar-bare-attack-sub/178611/9 "2003-05-31T01:41:14Z")
OK, the spelling is BAD, not badly… LOL, sorry. ---
**Author:** ![TVGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/82dd89/32.png) [@TVGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polar-bare-attack-sub/178611/10 "2003-05-31T05:17:02Z")
You know that this bear now holds a place of honor as the six of clubs in the newest terrorism deck of cards, right? I mean did he actually think he could attack a United States nuclear attack submarine and not be considered a serious threat to national security? Yup, this _Ursus Maritimus_ has officially made Tom Ridge’s and Don Rumsfeld’s lists, you betcha. WMD’s? What WMD’s? Who said anything about WMD’s? We’ve got a marauding polar bear jihad to worry about! And they lowered the homeland security level to yellow today too. To think! ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polar-bare-attack-sub/178611/11 "2003-05-31T05:44:36Z")
I don’t remember a _Far Side_ cartoon comparing submarines to lobsters, but there was one of an Eskimo running away with one polar bear holding up an igloo and saying to the other “I lift, you grab. Is that so hard?” ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polar-bare-attack-sub/178611/12 "2003-05-31T12:26:17Z")
The Far Side on my coffee mug is one of two polar bears munching on the top of an igloo, with one saying “I love these things! Crunchy outside, with a chewy center!” Another one is two spiders who have strung a web across the bottom of a playground slide, with one saying “If this works, we’ll eat like kings!” ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polar-bare-attack-sub/178611/13 "2003-05-31T17:19:13Z")
Wit 'til the bear meets up with his buddies 'round Churchill: _“Man, you shoulda seen the size of that seal! 200 feet, easy! I fought it for hours, but all I managed was a couple of bites before it got away!”_ In other news SIAC and McDonnell-Douglas have teamed up to push a new anti-polar bear missile on Capital Hill. Said one gov’t-teat-milking consultant: _“We can’t let this new threat go unanswered. Polar bears live in the artic, and there’s lots of ice up there! This wanton attack on our national assets is obviously only the tip of an iceberg!”_