# Police Blotter **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 30, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355 "2010-03-30T18:17:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/1 "2010-03-30T18:17:43Z")
Post some exerpts from your local [Police Blotter](http://www.thenorthernlight.com/police). Here are a few from mine (any emphasis mine): > [@](#): > > March 17: A person came into the police department agitated and angry over a variety of concerns that were disconnected in time and space. The common thread between all the problems seemed to be that everyone the complainant knew was telling her that she had a mental health problem. Officers spent some time with the visitor until she had calmed down. 😃 > [@](#): > > March 17: A man drove his vehicle into a ditch in the 2600 block of Bell Road at about 10 p.m. and left the scene without reporting the mishap. The driver was not injured and the vehicle suffered only minor damage to the front bumper. A tow truck removed the vehicle from the ditch and the man’s wife drove it to their home nearby. The driver was issued a traffic citation for driving with wheels off the roadway. Well, they had to charge him with _something!_ > [@](#): > > March 21: A citizen flagged down an officer to report a suspicious encounter with some aggressive guys posing as salesmen. The trio showed up at a house on Harrison Street claiming to want to sell the resident a vacuum cleaner. The fact that it was after 10 p.m. on a Sunday night, combined with their determination to try and get into the man’s home to demonstrate their wares, concerned the citizen enough to contact the police. The three men were last seen leaving Harrison Street in a white van after failing to gain entry to the home. Officers provided security patrols to the area. Bellingham police dispatchers reported their officers had received a similar complaint the previous evening. White van, eh? :dubious: ‘Ya wanna buy this vacuum cleaner? There was an error at the warehouse…’ ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/2 "2010-03-30T18:43:01Z")
A common theme in our local police blotter is that something is reported, the cops go out, and they report that they couldn’t find the suspects or the car or the animal or whatever. They never find anything. But this time they couldn’t even find the victims: > [@](#): > > At 8:30 p.m. officers responded to a 911 call from The Sports Center reporting larceny of a trophy. Three white males who left in a small white SUV with a black spare tire on the back were the victims. The incident happened during a hockey game. The officer checked the area and was unable to find victims in question or the trophy. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/3 "2010-03-30T18:50:46Z")
> [@](#): > > March 17: A person came into the police department agitated and angry over a variety of concerns that were disconnected in time and space. The common thread between all the problems seemed to be that everyone the complainant knew was telling her that she had a mental health problem. Officers spent some time with the visitor until she had calmed down. Yet again a poor refuge from the intergalactic space-time war is ridiculed when she seeks assistance. When all she needs to defeat the Chaos Emperor is the sacred doodad that fell onto earth eons ago. Hopefully she’ll seredipitously run into some just fired waiter/snowboarder can help her and maybe fall in love ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/4 "2010-03-30T19:05:42Z")
This might be cheating, but a local paper has an annual “Best of the Blotter” section. Some winners from 2009: [quote] [ul][li]A noise complaint was reported on Pin Oak Drive. Police responded and found a 50th anniversary party. The seniors were advised to turn down the Frank Sinatra music.[/li][li]Police were called to Amherston Drive to assist a woman who was itchy.[/li][li]An officer stopped a vehicle that was weaving on Clinton Street. The driver, an Alden woman, was showing signs of intoxication. She had to be told numerous times to put down her cell phone, as she kept initiating calls and ignoring the officer. When asked how much she had to drink, she replied, “one gallon of wine” and noted her left leg was sore from bowling and could affect her ability to perform field sobriety tests. [/li][li]A Kaymar Drive resident said he was outside yelling because the Buffalo Bills lost and the neighbor from across the street came over and punched him in the face.[/li][li]A suspicious person was reported outside a Transit Road business trying to sell edible underwear. [/li][li]A Depew woman reported she fell asleep watching television and awoke to a man touching her arm and face. She thought it was her boyfriend, but when she opened her eyes, she said she found a strange man who smelled of beer.[/li][li]Police responded to an accident on Northwood Avenue, where a car had run over a metal sign. The suspect was located on a nearby street and admitted he had been drinking. After failing his third field sobriety test, the suspect said, “Let’s just call it a day.”[/ul][/li][/quote] ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/5 "2010-03-30T19:57:32Z")
The police blotter for Arcata, CA is famously weird. Arcata itself is pretty weird - from time to time, the place seems overrun with dope-smoking, bongo-playing hippies. There’s lots to peruse at: [http://www.arcataeye.com/category/police-log/](http://www.arcataeye.com/category/police-log/) Some recent samples: > [@](#): > > Apparently bereft of the bongos normally utilized to annoy neighbors with repetitive noise in the wee hours, residents of a Samoa Boulevard apartment took to chanting their way onto the annals of Arcata crime history. > > A man on Samoa Boulevard complained that his broken jaw’s wiring had come loose. > > A parking dispute on Boyd Road led to a tow truck being called. The owner squatted on the hood to prevent his car from being taken away, but when negotiations failed, all the brazen bonnet squattage had been for naught. > > A 14-year-old skated on the Plaza, where his wallet fell out of his pantaloons. Three travelers – two women and a man – set upon the plopped pocketbook and immediately gutted it of any value. A gift card with $25 in remaining value was redeemed for unknown items – probably cheap crap – at a Uniontown variety store. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/6 "2010-03-30T20:04:55Z")
And now for something completely different…reports from local animal control: > [@](#): > > March 7, 2010 > Animal control recieved a call about a squirrel entangled in a tennis net in an indoor sports facility. An animal control officer tried to free the squirrel, but the squirrel was too entangled in the net so the officer asked permission to cut the net. The sports facility complied and the officer transported the animal to the shelter. Transport to wildlife rehabilitator could not be arranged that night so the squirrel was transported to an animal hospital overnight. The next day, the squirrel was picked up from the animal hospital and transferred to a wildlife rehabilitator to be checked for any injuries and to be cared for until it is healthy enough to be released. > > February 2, 2010 > Animal control responded to a call about an owl in a homeowner’s living room. The family lit a fire in their fireplace without realizing that an owl was living inside their chimney. The owl flew into their living room. The officer netted the bird, which did not appear to be injured. It was transported to a wildlife rehabilitator, who will care for it for several days until it is healthy enough to be released. While the bird appeared to be uninjured, the rehabilitator wanted to observe the bird and make sure that it was not suffering from the smoke inhalation. The animal control officer advised that the homeowners have their chimney cleaned and capped to prevent other animals from living there. > > January 7-15, 2010 > Animal control received a call about two domestic rabbits at large in a citizen’s yard: one white, the other brown. Two animal control officers tried to catch the rabbits for more than an hour.One officer caught the brown bunny after sitting in the bushes and waiting for it to come to her. The white bunny was not caught because it was very difficult to see in the snow. The officers set traps with the homeowner’s permission and have been to the house almost daily to check on the rabbit. > > A week later the homeowner brought in the white rabbit that had been caught in the trap in her yard. The rabbit, a white male, is being held as a stray. The bunny from the week earlier is currently on view for adoption. If the second bunny is not reclaimed during the stray period, it will be placed on view for adoption. > > December 21, 2009 > Animal Control was contacted regarding a very young kitten under a parked car in a business parking lot. An animal control officer arrived to find the kitten underneath the car. The officer tried to capture the kitten in a net, but the large amount of snow on the ground prevented her from capturing the kitten quickly. It raced from underneath the car and darted into traffic. The officer finally netted the kitten when it ran back underneath the parked car. The officer brought the kitten to the shelter to be held as a stray. The following day one of the volunteer visiting veterinarians examined the kitten and prescribed an antibiotic for an infection. > > November 24, 2009 > A woman walking on her lunch break noticed a medium-sized dog running across the street near a very busy intersection, in rainy and bad visibility weather. The woman tried to catch the dog, but it kept running away. It had no leash or collar. The dog ran across Fairfax Drive several times against several oncoming lanes of traffic, but somehow managed not to get hit. The woman called Animal Control as she tried to catch the dog. > > The dog jumped into a parked car (door was just opened by a restaurant customer). The driver could not hold the dog in the car for even a few minutes because the driver was severely allergic. > > The woman begged the car owners to wait just a few more minutes as she ran into the restaurant, found the manager and explained the situation. The manager found some rope and attached it to the dog while he was still inside the car. Then he and the woman coaxed him outside and secured him to a post outside the restaurant. The manager gave him a bowl of water, which he drank from eagerly. The woman and restaurant manager stayed with him in the rain until Animal Control arrived about 10 minutes later. > > A few hours later, the dog’s owners reclaimed him at the shelter. All dog owners should make sure their pets have collars and tags with current identification on them at all times, to ensure the prompt and safe return home of any lost pets. > > November 17, 2009 > Building maintenance staff called animal control regarding an injured hawk that was on the ground and not moving. The hawk was bleeding from its chest area. An animal control officer responded and put the hawk into a carrier and transported the hawk directly to a wildlife rehabilitator who administered fluids and cleaned the wound. The wildlife rehabilitator had plans to take the hawk to a vet to make sure that nothing was broken. The rehabilitator will care for the bird until it healthy enough to be released. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/7 "2010-03-30T20:13:03Z")
One more: > [@](#): > > April 7, 2009 > A man surrendered two hamsters in a hamster ball that he found rolling down the street near the 3900 block of Columbia Pike. The two hamsters were determined to be male and since male hamsters usually fight, they were housed in separate cages at the shelter. The next day a woman called to report her hamsters missing. She said her children had been playing in the yard with the hamsters in their ball and they came inside and forgot about them. When they went outside to look for the hamsters later, they could not find them. The woman reclaimed the hamsters. Shelter staff gave her an aquarium so that the hamsters could be housed separately and advised her to take one of the hamsters to a veterinarian for treatment of an apparent health problem. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/8 "2010-03-31T02:34:14Z")
San Francisco Examiner, March 29, 2010: > [@](#): > > At 11:30 p.m. March 13, two officers were on patrol near Columbus Avenue and Broadway when they had to swerve to avoid being struck by a vehicle. They pulled behind the vehicle, which then turned the corner and struck a pedestrian who was in a crosswalk. > > The driver fled up Fresno Street and jumped out of the vehicle, which rolled into an apartment building with a passenger still in the car. Officers pursued the driver on foot and were assisted by foot-beat officers in the area. The driver, a 13-year-old boy from out of town, was taken into custody. The pedestrian sustained a serious injury. > [@](#): > > Near O’Farrell and Powell streets, a man exited a cable car and approached a van that could not turn because of pedestrians walking by. The man yelled at the driver and told her to leave. She extended her middle finger toward the man, who then damaged the vehicle by scratching it. The woman parked the van and chased the man in order to report the incident to police. > > When she caught up to him, there was a struggle in which the woman bit the man’s arm. The man was arrested and booked. Why, exactly, an incident on the 13th is listed for the 29th is just one of the mysteries of the Barbary Coast… ---
**Author:** ![Zulema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/db5fbb/32.png) [@Zulema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zulema)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/9 "2010-03-31T04:25:27Z")
Monday, March 22 8:17 a.m. — An employee at Evergreen Elementary reported someone defecated in a tube slide over the weekend. ---
**Author:** ![FatBaldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@FatBaldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FatBaldGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/10 "2010-03-31T04:43:47Z")
Not a direct quote, because I don’t have the paper with me anymore, but a couple of weeks ago I was on campus at BYU and noticed an entry in the Police Blotter section. > [@](#): > > A male caller with a Jamaican accent had been repeatedly telephoning the campus police office attempting to talk to BYU basketball coach Dave Rose. The caller wanted to inform Rose that he had won a major cash prize and needed to provide his banking information so that he could receive the money. The person answering the phone was aware of the scam and told the caller not to call back, but the calls kept coming. > > By coincidence, Coach Rose happened to be in the police office when one of the calls came in. Upon being apprised of the situation, he told the officer to give the caller his cell phone number. When the man called, Coach Rose blew a whistle into the telephone. The man did not call back. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/11 "2010-03-31T14:19:22Z")
The police blotter in the alternative weekly is always much funnier than the one in the staid daily. From the most recent: On March 15, a man called the cops and told them someone had beat him up and taken his car. The man said he had stopped to help someone on the side of the road only to be jumped and have his car stolen in the process. Unfortunately for the man, officers figured out that the so-called victim wasn’t jumped or robbed, but rather had fled earlier that night when his (stolen) car was being towed. The guy got locked up and is probably trying to make up a story so as to not get jumped while in his cell. Hope it turns out better than this doozy. On March 22, an officer driving on the interstate saw a car with paper tags going at least 20 mph over the speed limit. When the officer pulled the car over and asked the driver for his license, the driver didn’t have one. The officer then asked if the driver had anything illegal in his car, to which the man said “no.” The man gave permission for the cop to search his car, at which point the cop found cocaine sprinkled around the front seat. The driver admitted to the cocaine but said he’d never tried it until that day right before he started driving. The man was arrested. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/12 "2010-03-31T14:31:42Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > The police blotter in the alternative weekly is always much funnier than the one in the staid daily. It’s pretty quiet up here. Most of the police reports are: Drug violations, usually marijuana; People on one side or the other of the border trying to get to the other side; Drunk driving; Domestic violence; Prowlers; Teenage kids being teenage kids. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/13 "2010-03-31T15:09:56Z")
Oh, we have the state’s largest university, IIRC the _world’s_ largest basic training base, state government, and 12.6% unemployment. We have _awesome_ crime. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/14 "2010-03-31T15:25:35Z")
More from [Arcata](http://www.arcataeye.com/category/police-log/)… Sppoky! > [@](#): > > A downstairs tenant at an historic school building in the 1100 block of 16th Street heard people running upsatairs, with doors opening and slamming and drawers being opened and closed. When police arrived, the ghosts of schoolchildren from decades past had had their fun, and nothing material was found awry. Fun with livestock: > [@](#): > > A Northtown pizza restaurant continues to be harassed by free-range chickens. > > A Holstein cow wandering West End Road was encouraged to moove on. Such unusual words… [quote] Slithy toves were active in the area of Irene Street, trying multiple car doorhandles with the usual success. The enormous white bus out on westernmost Eighth Street was reported “sticking out in traffic” and posing a hazard to passing vehicles. Police didn’t see where it was obstructing the roadway, but did try to get in touch with the blindingly white Brobdingnagian blight. A howly-growly lass made a spectacle at a 13th Street marketplace, then wandered into G Street traffic, almost getting car-whammed, miraculously surviving to appear next at a nearby video store and creating a similar kerfuffle there. She was arrested on public schnockerdness charges. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/15 "2010-03-31T16:39:09Z")
Nothing cute or funny, unfortunately. A motorcyclist in my town was seriously injured when he hit a mattress on a local freeway. And a person living in my town was shot and killed by a police officer in the next town over, where we used to live and still go to church. Around the corner from my old house, as a matter of fact. Apparently the guy had been passing counterfeit currency, and decided to take off when the police stopped him. He was dragging the cop, who shot and killed him. First case of an officer shooting a civilian in thirty years. I seem to attract that sort of thing - the first shooting of a civilian by a police officer in my city’s history happened to my next door neighbor a while after we moved in. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/16 "2010-03-31T19:03:38Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > The police blotter for Arcata, CA is famously weird. Arcata itself is pretty weird - from time to time, the place seems overrun with dope-smoking, bongo-playing hippies. > > There’s lots to peruse at: [http://www.arcataeye.com/category/police-log/](http://www.arcataeye.com/category/police-log/) > > Some recent samples: I don’t know what’s more entertaining, the actual details of what’s happened or the writer’s style. Band name: Brazen Bonnet Squattage ---
**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/17 "2010-04-02T19:17:26Z")
We also some have funny police reports. I read them just for a laugh… 😉 [Police Log](http://www.fosters.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100401/GJCOMMUNITY04/704019845/-1/FOSCOMMUNITY07) ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/18 "2010-04-02T19:23:23Z")
A [redacted] grandmother was arraigned on charges relating her third OUI offense after allegedly drinking before deciding to drive her grandson to his elementary school Thursday, March 18. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/19 "2010-04-02T21:42:05Z")
> [@descamisado](#): > > I don’t know what’s more entertaining, the actual details of what’s happened or the writer’s style. > > Band name: Brazen Bonnet Squattage Odd you would say that. I find the writer’s style clumsy. find the embellishments expecially annoying. Police Blotters read better with a straight face. Brazen bonnet squattage sounds like something written by a highschooler trying, poorly, to mimic Python. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355/20 "2010-04-02T22:00:34Z")
In the big city I live in the police stories tend to be massively awful, but I found this gem in the police blotter of my hometown paper this week: “Theft, 4300 block of Buffalo gap Road, Thusday: A victim was buying four computers from the suspect, who gave the victim four wooden computers.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/police-blotter/534355.md?page=2)