Police probing Quebec maple syrup heist worth up to $30-million

[Declan]

[quote=“silenus, post:16, topic:633226”]

Somebody has been reading John Ringo and taking him way too seriously![/QUOTE
First thing I thought of when I read that story, begun the maple syrup war has.

Declan

[Little_Nemo]

@detop

No, the culprits are probably the breakfast food illuminati, look for their loot somewhere in Bavaria.

You don’t want to mess with those guys. I’ve heard they’re cereal killers.

[matt_mcl]

UPDATE: The syrup has been found in New Brunswick! Thrilling syrup heist details revealed!

Quebec provincial police, assisted by the RCMP, seized an astronomical quantity of barrels of maple syrup from S.K. Export in Kedgwick, New Brunswick. …

The thieves had taken the contents of about 10,000 barrels of maple syrup, exceeding $20 million in value. They literally pumped the syrup out of the barrels and presumably discharged it into tanker trucks. …

All the seized syrup was trucked under police escort to a warehouse in Laurierville, in the Centre-du-Québec region. That location, with powerful security systems, belongs to the Quebec federation of maple producers.

The syrup will be used as evidence in court.

[Sparky812]

@levdrakon

How does one fence $30 million in syrup without anyone noticing? It’ll be hilarious if it shows up on Craigslist.

Simple.
Park your truck at the side of the highway, preferrably on or near a reservation, then paint a sloppy sign that reads:

“Cheap %100 Canadian Maple Syrup, (No GST)”

You’ll sell out in a couple of hours. Guarranteed!

[furryman]

@Spoons

What you draw is up to you, but I’m picturing a Ghostbusters-type outfit of people. Jumpsuits, nametags, Canadian flag shoulder patches. And the gear: instead of photon streams, they shoot streams of Canada No. 1 Medium grade.

No, no, no. Sexy women in skin tight uniforms who spray maple syrup at each other for no reason.

[Gorsnak]

@furryman

No, no, no. Sexy women in skin tight uniforms who spray maple syrup at each other for no reason.

I don’t understand how you could think that there’s no reason for sexy women in skin tight uniforms to spray maple syrup at each other.

[Hypno-Toad]

So was that $30 million estimate in street value?

So what will happen to these Mapleleggers now that they’ve been caught?

[Little_Nemo]

The syrup will be used as evidence in court.

So it’ll be an exhibit, eh?

[Leaffan]

@Hypno-Toad

So was that $30 million estimate in street value?

So what will happen to these Mapleleggers now that they’ve been caught?

Well, a couple of years in jail I imagine. Assuming they’re proven guilty in court, which will take about a year to get to.

[Postariti]

Whew, I’m glad this terrible crime has been solved!

I had to share a quote from this article:

“Quebec is a maple syrup superpower.”

[Malthus]

@Hypno-Toad

So what will happen to these Mapleleggers now that they’ve been caught?

Let’s just say some of the syrup barrels will not be returned to the storehouse - strangely enough, one for each of the mapleleggers. Who will quietly dissapear from the news.

“Justice can be sweet”.

[Mr.Excellent]

@Gorsnak

I think you’re losing the plot here. Man has climbed Mount Everest, gone to the bottom of the ocean. He’s fired rockets at the Moon, split the atom, achieved miracles in every field of human endeavor… except crime!

Do you expect me to talk?

[Robot_Arm]

No, Mrs. Butterworth, I expect you to die.

[Sunspace]

@furryman

No, no, no. Sexy women in skin tight uniforms who spray maple syrup at each other for no reason.

Weapons of mass distraction.

Sticky, glorious distraction…

[gnoitall]

@Robot_Arm

Really, if they had any brains, they’d break into the warehouse and detonate a nuclear weapon. The entire maple syrup supply of Canada would be radioactive for fifty-seven years. There would be economic chaos, and dry pancakes, in the West, and the value of their syrup increases many times.

Dr. Evil, is that you? You normally don’t explain your nefarious extortion plans until after you’ve put them into effect, except for the final trigger… and then only to an International Man of Mystery, which are sadly not in evidence here.

[Princhester]

@Little_Nemo

So it’ll be an exhibit, eh?

This is going to be a big case. The lawyers involved are going to be pulling all-nighters, skipping meals, poring over the evidence at breakfast…

[ruh-roh]

@Hari_Seldon

Back around Nov. 22, 1963, a storage tank in NY (or maybe NJ) that was supposed to be full of salad oil was found to be empty. It would have been a major story and perhaps even caused economic upheaval, but there were other happenings on Nov. 23 that drove it out of people’s consciousness and also closed the stock markets so they managed to paper over it. But how do you empty a storage tank surreptitiously? Maybe, like the oil, the syrup never actually got to the warehouse.

Finally! That explains why the mafia had Kennedy shot. To cover up the disappearance of $150 million worth of salad oil. Now if we can just figure out why they faked those moon landings.

[Spoons]

@Sunspace

Weapons of mass distraction.

Sticky, glorious distraction…

Sweet!

[Dr_Doom]

The Mounties always get their man!

[Boyo_Jim]

@Dr_Doom

The Mounties always get their man!

Only in Canada will you find stories about “illicit trafficking” in maple syrup!

I’ve heard they hide bootleg bottles in cigarette cartons.