# Polishing wood with mayonnaise

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polishing-wood-with-mayonnaise/629651>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [July 28, 2012, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polishing-wood-with-mayonnaise/629651 "2012-07-28T05:48:11Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 11\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polishing-wood-with-mayonnaise/629651/1 "2012-07-28T05:48:11Z")

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In the late 60’s I spent a summer in northern Wisconsin at my cousins house.

One day my Aunt came home from work and before doing anything else took a big glob of mayonnaise and plopped it on a cherry drop leaf table and proceeded to polish the table with it.

After which she stared at the table as if mystified that a glob of egg goop didn’t make it shine like new.  
I’ll never forget this, especially since when I got home and asked my ma about it she told me I might be mistaken as to what I thought I saw my Aunt use as a polish.

My Aunt died in '73, and as far as I know she is still dead so I can’t ask her.  
So…? WTF?

Is/was/has mayonnaise ever been considered a viable polish for wood?

Or did my aunt take the brown acid?

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**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polishing-wood-with-mayonnaise/629651/2 "2012-07-28T06:14:43Z")

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I remember reading that once in one of those [books](http://www.amazon.com/Extraordinary-Uses-Ordinary-Things-Money/dp/0762106492/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1343456045&sr=1-1&keywords=extraordinary+uses+for+ordinary+things) about how to use home substitutes for commercial products.

Your aunt presumably read the same thing.

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**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polishing-wood-with-mayonnaise/629651/3 "2012-07-28T06:16:01Z")

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Maybe she read it in a newspaper? Like Heloise or Dear Abby?

There is oil in mayo and I’ve heard of people using vegetable oil on wood. The other ingredients in mayo would probably go rancid pretty quick. I wouldn’t use it on wood.

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**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polishing-wood-with-mayonnaise/629651/4 "2012-07-28T06:20:25Z")

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I’ve heard of this for years. Spam is also touted as a furniture polish. Mayo is just egg yolks and oil. The yolks will give the surface a hard finish, and won’t go bad when dry. Egg yolk is the base for tempera paint which lasts for centuries.

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**Author:** ![AaronX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polishing-wood-with-mayonnaise/629651/5 "2012-07-28T06:31:47Z")

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Someone also mentioned it in [The "I'll be damned, it actually works" helpful tip thread - In My Humble Opinion - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=587426) post 241.

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**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polishing-wood-with-mayonnaise/629651/6 "2012-07-28T14:00:55Z")

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I use mayo on my furniture sometimes - not as polish, but to get discolored rings off. It works pretty well. I imagine it is from the oil more than the eggs, but it does work.

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**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polishing-wood-with-mayonnaise/629651/7 "2012-07-28T17:11:54Z")

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Mayo also has vinegar. I would hesitate to put acid on finished wood.

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**Author:** ![ecoaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/85e7bf/32.png) [@ecoaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ecoaster)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polishing-wood-with-mayonnaise/629651/8 "2012-07-28T22:08:23Z")

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Am I really the only one that read this thread title and thought it was referring to something else?

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**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polishing-wood-with-mayonnaise/629651/9 "2012-07-28T22:16:47Z")

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> [@CookingWithGas](#):
>
> Mayo also has vinegar. I would hesitate to put acid on finished wood.

The tiny bit of vinegar, only used in some mayo, won’t harm the wood, and may help highlight the grain.

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**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polishing-wood-with-mayonnaise/629651/10 "2012-07-28T23:03:17Z")

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> [@ecoaster](#):
>
> Am I really the only one that read this thread title and thought it was referring to something else?

Yeah, sounds like a euphemism.

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**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polishing-wood-with-mayonnaise/629651/11 "2012-07-28T23:07:31Z")

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> [@ecoaster](#):
>
> Am I really the only one that read this thread title and thought it was referring to something else?

Nope. I was going to respond that mayonnaise was usually the result of polishing the wood, rather than a requirement.
