# Polite, yes, but can it be a rule? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [March 14, 2009, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444 "2009-03-14T19:50:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2009, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/21 "2009-03-14T22:41:07Z")
Mod discussion has been brief but pretty well consistent. We don’t need a new rule for this sort of thing, it’s already covered under “Don’t be a jerk.” We have asked people to be considerate of other posters – specifically, avoiding NSFW links, but NSFW is not just porn. It includes jack-in-the-box, loud unexpected sounds, something that takes three to four years to download if you’re on a slow computer/connection, etc. We ask people to be considerate of others. This specifically is not worth a rule in the sense of something to warn people about. On t’other hand, if you find a link that goes to something that’s annoying (or could be annoying if you were at work, say), then let a mod know and we’ll edit in an alert. And, folks, cool it down. No name-calling in ATMB. The goal is to have reasonable and polite discussion about such matters. It is possible to hold different opinions without one side being stupid or wrong or whatever. This is about taste and individual perceptions and situations, not about science or mathematics or other true/false scenarios. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2009, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/22 "2009-03-14T22:47:00Z")
> [@Jeff](#): > > Ah yes, the “this argument is too complicated for you to understand” response. Clearly it is far beyond your capacity to explicate as well, since even your own responses & examples cannot help a reader to understand its subtle intricacies. > > That being your only apparent defense against my argument for personal responsibility, I rest my case. Again, your post is nothing but questions you imagine asking me inside your brain, and then you imagine the answer you think I’d give, and take that as a fact. Not too complicated, no; obviously–and entertainingly–pointless, yes. Please let me how the conversation comes out, so I can know what I’m thinking and what my motivations and reasons are. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2009, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/23 "2009-03-14T22:47:04Z")
Hey Dex, don’t interrupt. I’m sure lissener was just getting ready to take another shot at my intelligence. 😛 > [@lissener](#): > > Again, your post is nothing but questions you imagine asking me inside your brain, and then you imagine the answer you think I’d give, and take that as a fact. > > Not too complicated, no; obviously–and entertainingly–pointless, yes. Please let me how the conversation comes out, so I can know what I’m thinking and what my motivations and reasons are. ETA: w00t, I was right. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2009, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/24 "2009-03-14T22:53:50Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Again, your post is nothing but questions you imagine asking me inside your brain, and then you imagine the answer you think I’d give, and take that as a fact. How’s about you actually answer them, then? You go around claiming people don’t know what they’re talking about, that they’re wrong and yet you rarely post the reasons _why_ you say that, nor post any sort of supporting statements. One could easily get the impression–false, no doubt–that you’re just all talk. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2009, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/25 "2009-03-14T23:05:39Z")
I always try to respond to any post that seems worth my time to respond. To. In fact I have something of a reputation for being unable to let an argument go; I will usually keep responding as long as I think the person I’m discussing it with is arguing in good faith. Two kinds of posts I don’t respond to, and I don’t think I’m required to respond to: posts where it seems likely to me that the other person is only arguing to hear himself type, and has nothing substantive to contribute; and posts where someone starts out by telling me what I’m thinking so they can tell me how wrong I am before I even respond. But enough about me. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/26 "2009-03-14T23:23:08Z")
> [@Jeff](#): > > So tell me again, what is this about? People linking resource-intensive links that your particular computer can’t run, you clicking on links that embarass you in front of others? > > I still say that we don’t need a rule to protect you from these. You’re free to not click links if you feel it is not in your best interest to do so. > > You seem to think this issue is somehow deeper or more complicated than it really is. Sorry. But how is someone to know if they feel it is not in their best interest to click a link if the person who posted it doesn’t give them enough information on which to base a decision? “Hey, check this out!” is about as uninformative as you can get. What is so difficult about including at least a brief description of what the link is about so the reader can make an informed decision? Or is that too non-jerkish for some people? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2009, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/27 "2009-03-14T23:44:32Z")
After talking to the other mods, I made a small change to the ‘Guidelines and Etiquette’ thread, as well as the rules thread in Cafe Society. [The theads now include the following.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=7697092#post7697092) It’s not a rule, just a suggestion and advisement for everybody. Most people already follow it and we wouldn’t do more than make a small note in the post if people forget. > [@](#): > > When linking to a Web page featuring video or audio, or a large file such as a .PDF, please make a note of it in your post so readers aren’t caught unawares by the sound or by a document that may slow down their computers. Readers are advised to use a mouse-over to preview links before clicking. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2009, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/28 "2009-03-14T23:49:06Z")
> [@LurkMeister](#): > > But how is someone to know if they feel it is not in their best interest to click a link if the person who posted it doesn’t give them enough information on which to base a decision? In that case, it’s in their best interest not to click it at work. See how easy that is? ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/29 "2009-03-15T00:37:14Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > After talking to the other mods, I made a small change to the ‘Guidelines and Etiquette’ thread, as well as the rules thread in Cafe Society. > > [The theads now include the following.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=7697092#post7697092) It’s not a rule, just a suggestion and advisement for everybody. Most people already follow it and we wouldn’t do more than make a small note in the post if people forget. Dang, I was hoping my demands would be met with a little more quivering obsequiousness, because I was planning to escalate them if this one worked. So much for changing the names of all the forums to “lissener’s [forum name].” (In all seriousness, this was more than I hoped for, and more than adequate to address the situation. Yay, the terrorists have won another one!) ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/30 "2009-03-15T00:56:21Z")
> [@LurkMeister](#): > > But how is someone to know if they feel it is not in their best interest to click a link if the person who posted it doesn’t give them enough information on which to base a decision? > [@Q.E.D](#): > > In that case, it’s in their best interest not to click it at work. See how easy that is? > [@](#): > > “Hey, check this out!” is about as uninformative as you can get. What is so difficult about including at least a brief description of what the link is about so the reader can make an informed decision? > > Or is that too non-jerkish for some people? I note that you have no response to the other part of my question. But then, I guess I already answered that question myself. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/31 "2009-03-15T01:04:56Z")
> [@LurkMeister](#): > > But how is someone to know if they feel it is not in their best interest to click a link if the person who posted it doesn’t give them enough information on which to base a decision? “Hey, check this out!” is about as uninformative as you can get. What is so difficult about including at least a brief description of what the link is about so the reader can make an informed decision? > > Or is that too non-jerkish for some people? A mouseover will tell you if you’re linked to youtube video, or ESPN, or Comedy Central, or a PDF file. I do this at work all the time, out of necessity, because my own workstation is thoroughly and sadly unsuitable for accessing a great majority of the web. Accessing a PDF via the internet can cause it to seize up for a full minute. However, that is all no one’s problem but my own. And it takes me less time to do a mouseover than it would take someone else to type up a 10 word explanation. If you’re specifically complaining about the ‘content’ of the link, like say the name of the band in the youtube video being linked, or a summary of the article, etc…that’s not what is being debated in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/32 "2009-03-15T01:40:43Z")
> [@Jeff](#): > > A mouseover will tell you if you’re linked to youtube video, or ESPN, or Comedy Central, or a PDF file. I do this at work all the time, out of necessity, because my own workstation is thoroughly and sadly unsuitable for accessing a great majority of the web. Accessing a PDF via the internet can cause it to seize up for a full minute. > > However, that is all no one’s problem but my own. And it takes me less time to do a mouseover than it would take someone else to type up a 10 word explanation. > > If you’re specifically complaining about the ‘content’ of the link, like say the name of the band in the youtube video being linked, or a summary of the article, etc…that’s not what is being debated in this thread. I guess this post was just a figment of my imagination, then. > [@Anaamika](#): > > Actually, I do almost always hold my mouse there - when I think it’s a video or a pdf. But sometimes you can’t even tell from the context that it is - there’s no reason, say, for them to link to a video. And it pisses me off when I click on something thinking it’s an article and I get a video. it’s OK for me to surf at work, provided I get my work done, and I do, but work won’t run any videos and pdfs just freeze it up. > > The other thing I’d like to ask but not make a rule is - can we give a brief summary of what you’re linking to? I hate this: > > “You might be interested in this [this](http://www.whateveritisyoulinkedto).” > > I want to know if it’s worth it to me to click on that link at all! ---
**Author:** ![Jeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/33 "2009-03-15T02:16:21Z")
> [@LurkMeister](#): > > I guess this post was just a figment of my imagination, then. So 1 out of 31 other posts, which no-one else followed up, is a point being debated? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/34 "2009-03-15T02:23:55Z")
> [@Jeff](#): > > So 1 out of 31 other posts, which no-one else followed up, is a point being debated? :dubious: I’ll tell you why _I_ didn’t follow up. Because of the arguing and the complaining that god forbid, we request something. Because every time we ask for anything people come out of the woodwork to argue with us. It was a _request_. But you have spent all of your time in this thread arguing and frankly I don’t have the time or inclination. Then, people say, “If you don’t want to argue, well, don’t post.” Well, that’s what happens, and that’s what’s happening…slowly people are being driven away because a little request for civility is treated like a request for a kidney. This whole thread is all “Show me WHY you have any right to ask for a rule.” Why don’t we have a right just to ask? In my mind we did show it, and if the mods come to the conclusion no rule is required, fair enough. I like what they did, with the little note in the sticky. I appreciate it. That’s enough for me. I won’t be coming back here to argue with you over this minor thing, either. I have other things to do. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/35 "2009-03-15T02:52:04Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I won’t be coming back here to argue with you over this minor thing, either. I have other things to do. If it’s worth coming back to snipe at me over generalizations, surely its worth having a proper discussion about. I’m sure your other things can wait. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/36 "2009-03-15T03:04:41Z")
The type of jerkish behavior exemplified in this thread is, I think, doing more to drive people away from the SDMB than anything else. Why bother trying to suggest changes when your fellow posters are going to jump all over you demanding that you justify your request. Unless of course, it’s something that _they_ want changed. Then TPTB had better snap to attention and make those changes immediately without any attempt at discussion. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/37 "2009-03-15T03:17:55Z")
That’s funny, a lot of people say that excessive nannying and extraneous rules are what is driving people away. 😃 Do you honestly think I ‘jumped all over’ lissener because I didn’t convince him with my first post? Or perhaps it was simply because he replied back implying I was too stupid to understand him? ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/38 "2009-03-15T03:46:22Z")
**lissener** requested if something could be made a rule, and several people (not just you) insisted that he had to justify why he wanted the rule, implying that the only reason he wanted it was to “cover his ass at work” even after he made it clear that his request had nothing to do with his particular work situation. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/39 "2009-03-15T03:51:12Z")
> [@LurkMeister](#): > > …several people (not just you) insisted that he had to justify why he wanted the rule… No, they didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444/40 "2009-03-15T03:54:05Z")
> [@Jeff](#): > > That’s funny, a lot of people say that excessive nannying and extraneous rules are what is driving people away. 😃 > > Do you honestly think I ‘jumped all over’ lissener because I didn’t convince him with my first post? Or perhaps it was simply because he replied back implying I was too stupid to understand him? THIS. Is priceless. Not only do you tell me what I’m thinking, you make up totally imaginary posts in order to have something to bitch about. I’m just gonna sit back and watch, for fun, until you’re able to give some evidence that A) you’re reading \*this \*thread, and not some imaginary thing in your head, and B) that your input or questions are specifically relevant to this thread, and not the imaginary thread in your head. Not expecting much, I’m pulling up wit the popcorn and the beer. Go. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polite-yes-but-can-it-be-a-rule/489444.md?page=3)