# Political phone call rant **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 31, 2006, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549 "2006-10-31T04:31:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/1 "2006-10-31T04:31:33Z")
While I’m showering this morning, the phone rings, and the machine takes the call. The voice is similar to that of the stereotypical evangelist, and my skeptical filter ratchets up a few notches. He goes on to explain how my help is needed on election day to keep a good, honest man in office who will fight the moral depravity going on around us. _Damn. I missed another instance of moral depravity? I was probably getting my fair share off the internet anyway, but I digress._ Then he launches into the real deal-the recent consideration in New Jersey being extended to gays, and how this can’t be allowed to happen in my state, how it’s evil and must be eradicated, and how it’s gonna cause breakdown of the family unit, society in general, and make the baby Jesus wet himself, which is why I’ve gotta vote for Shlub McPutz on the 7th. \*Whoa, Nellie. Let’s review that line of logic, if you wish to so abuse the word. I’ve gotta keep your guy in office to protect my state from the evil, bad, New Jersey gay folks? I can see it now, legions of lascivious lesbians, marching across the Calhoun Street Bridge, their strap-on dildos seductively swaying, followed by a battalion of leather-clad gay men, all holding hands while singing Johnny Mathis music. Oy. I don’t get the eradication angle, either. There are lots of things which hold no appeal for and likewise do not injure me: liver with onions, Yoko Ono music, and yappy little rat-dogs being a few examples, but other folks enjoy, so who in the fuck am I, or anyone else to deny them right to indulge therein? What was that phrase about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness…? This will breakdown the family unit how, exactly? In the many years I’ve known gay, bi, and lesbian people, never ever has one of them annoyed me by sending saccharine emails indicative that their choice is one which I should follow. They’ve never invited me to Bring a Friend night at the Gaydome, nor have two GLBT people ever rung my goddamn doorbell at an obscenely early hour to ask me how secure I am in my sexuality. My gay friends are just that-FRIENDS, but my religious friends (and total strangers) presume it’s their God-given right to annoy the living shit out of me with their entreaties. Reviewing the above, it’s clear. BZZT! Gay wins, 3-0 so I’m not gonna vote your stupid, narrow-minded bigoted ass in for another term, because fucksticks like you have no business crafting laws.\* ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/2 "2006-10-31T06:13:04Z")
Johnny Mathis? ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/3 "2006-10-31T06:47:05Z")
[QUOTE=danceswithcats] Yoko Ono music [/QUOTE] What has she written that you consider fits into the category of **music**? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/4 "2006-10-31T06:49:06Z")
Did you return the phone call? ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/5 "2006-10-31T06:56:14Z")
The only thing wrong with the recent telemarketing bill that was passed is that they made some exceptions to it. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/6 "2006-10-31T07:12:36Z")
[QUOTE=Lynn Bodoni] The only thing wrong with the recent telemarketing bill that was passed is that they made some exceptions to it. [/QUOTE] Indeed. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/7 "2006-10-31T07:15:39Z")
[QUOTE=t-bonham@scc.net] What has she written that you consider fits into the category of **music**? [/QUOTE] I thought of instead saying ‘rap music’ but that’s another contradiction in terms. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/8 "2006-10-31T07:16:51Z")
[QUOTE=Really Not All That Bright] Did you return the phone call? [/QUOTE] No. I prefer not to start my day with a dose of stupid. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/9 "2006-10-31T07:53:58Z")
You should post the number here so we can do it for you 😉 ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/10 "2006-10-31T08:02:15Z")
[QUOTE=danceswithcats] No. I prefer not to start my day with a dose of stupid. 😉 [/QUOTE] Wow, this reminds me, it has been weeks since congressman Tom Reynolds has had his girlfriend call me and offer to whisk me off to DC for some national business conference. Only a $500 donation for an invitation. Never mind that hes not running for office in my state, let alone this half of the US, but he wants ME to be there. I guess the last time she called and I asked what color panties she was wearing they finally decided I was not going to donate. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/11 "2006-10-31T08:03:55Z")
[QUOTE=Really Not All That Bright] You should post the number here so we can do it for you 😉 [/QUOTE] I wonder how many phone lines they have… can anyone say denial of service 😃😉 ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/12 "2006-10-31T08:05:23Z")
Heh, better yet. We should all assemble a group of questions that will keep someone on the phone for at least 5-10min, then donate a dollar. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/13 "2006-10-31T11:17:59Z")
[QUOTE=Really Not All That Bright] You should post the number here so we can do it for you 😉 [/QUOTE] We do have a rule about not doing that sort of thing. No matter HOW justified it is. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/14 "2006-10-31T13:28:54Z")
[QUOTE=danceswithcats] _legions of lascivious lesbians_ [/QUOTE] Awesome alliterative allusion (and, need it be said, band name!) [QUOTE=danceswithcats] a battalion of leather-clad gay men, all holding hands while singing Johnny Mathis music. [/QUOTE] The De-Lovely Brigade? The night is young and the guys are queer And if you want to go walkin’, dear It’s delightful, it’s delicious, it’s de-lovely [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/15 "2006-10-31T13:43:08Z")
[QUOTE=danceswithcats] I can see it now, legions of lascivious lesbians, marching across the Calhoun Street Bridge, their strap-on dildos seductively swaying, followed by a battalion of leather-clad gay men, all holding hands while singing Johnny Mathis music. Oy. [/QUOTE] Oh-Li-Oh! oh-OH-oh! Oh-Li-Oh! oh-OH-oh! “I’ll get you my pretties! And your up-tight genitalia too…!” _cackle_😃 . . . . . . . **sorry. Halloween made me do it…** ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/16 "2006-10-31T19:23:44Z")
[QUOTE=Lynn Bodoni] We do have a rule about not doing that sort of thing. No matter HOW justified it is. [/QUOTE] I was kidding. Apologies for any feathers I may have ruffled. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/17 "2006-10-31T20:04:09Z")
I’m not ruffled. I just wanted to head off any potential problems. It’s an understandable impulse, and joke, and all that, I just don’t want to have to clean up any mess from someone who took you at your word, not knowing that it is a rule. If I came across as snappish, I didn’t mean to. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/18 "2006-10-31T20:09:02Z")
[QUOTE=Lynn Bodoni] I’m not ruffled. I just wanted to head off any potential problems. It’s an understandable impulse, and joke, and all that, I just don’t want to have to clean up any mess from someone who took you at your word, not knowing that it is a rule. If I came across as snappish, I didn’t mean to. [/QUOTE] Nah, I took your post as pretty much tongue-in-cheek, as mine was. I just apologised in case I was misreading. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/19 "2006-10-31T20:32:04Z")
You poor thing. Someone must have figured out we’re Dems here because I get all the good political calls. I had lots of fun the other day with a pollster who was clearly calling from the Menendez senate campaign. We chatted away about the awfulness of the Rep candidate for a full twenty minutes. Political phone calls and blood donation people are the only telemarketers who get spared my “you suck and quick hang-up” routine. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2006, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549/20 "2006-10-31T21:07:20Z")
[QUOTE=LavenderBlue] Political phone calls and blood donation people are the only telemarketers who get spared my “you suck and quick hang-up” routine. [/QUOTE] Oh my God, you must not be getting the computer-generated ones. They’re an abomination, a visitation from the deepest circle of Hell. I get at least one, and sometimes more, every day. They’re placed by the campaign of one Peter Roskam, candidate for Congress in my district, and invariably begin, “I’m calling with information about Tammy Duckworth”, his opponent. They know that half the people will slam down the phone at that point, left with only one association in their mind: Tammy Duckworth is a bitch for placing that call. But of course, the call isn’t _from_ Duckworth, it’s _about_ Duckworth–about how she wants to let in a bunch of Mexicans or some such shit. So if you’re dumb enough to actually _listen_ to the call, you’ll know that it isn’t from Duckworth, but you’ll still think she’s evil. They have two chances to win. I voted for Duckworth, and believe me, it isn’t easy to get me to vote for a liberal Democrat. In fact, under ordinary circumstances, it’s well-nigh impossible. But the Roskam motherfuckers did it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/political-phone-call-rant/378549.md?page=2)