# Poll: Dog in the manger **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 8, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-dog-in-the-manger/432765 "2008-01-08T20:05:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-dog-in-the-manger/432765/81 "2008-01-10T11:38:17Z")
[QUOTE=BarnOwl] 74 and I don’t know what it means, what the Maltese Falcon or Aesop had to do with the term, … [/QUOTE] **The Maltese Falcon** actually has zero to do with them – it was just another example of something this particular trio drew total blanks on when I refered to it in passing. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-dog-in-the-manger/432765/82 "2008-01-10T15:36:17Z")
As it happens, the book I was reading last night had a character thinking of herself as acting like a dog in the manger when she realized that while she wasn’t still in love with her ex-husband, she didn’t want anyone else to have him either. This was approximately 30 pages before she decides that she is in love with him, but it’s not fair to him to marry him, etc. And that was 10-15 pages before he persuades her that she should marry him and anyway, his mother doesn’t hate her anymore. 2 pages before the end of the book. (Yes, I was reading a romance novel, why do you ask? _Pale Moon Rising_ by Ginna Gray). It’s not the first time I’ve seen the expression used in a romance novel–I’m pretty sure Stephanie Laurens used it in one of her books, perhaps \* A Secret Love\*, but there is no way I’m going to invest any energy in locating the book in question. More than you wanted to know, I’m sure. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-dog-in-the-manger/432765/83 "2008-01-10T15:38:30Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] Do you know what this expression means? How old are you? (I just used it while talking to my sidekick, and it turns out that none of the three people in the office – two are about 30 and one at about 35 – had ever heard it before.) (FTR, none of these three people has ever seen **The Maltese Falcon** , either – I don’t know if there’s a connection there or not.) [/QUOTE] nope. 39 and 18 mos old ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-dog-in-the-manger/432765/84 "2008-01-10T17:04:56Z")
[QUOTE=Eureka] As it happens, the book I was reading last night had a character thinking of herself as acting like a dog in the manger when she realized that while she wasn’t still in love with her ex-husband, she didn’t want anyone else to have him either. This was approximately 30 pages before she decides that she is in love with him, but it’s not fair to him to marry him, etc. And that was 10-15 pages before he persuades her that she should marry him and anyway, his mother doesn’t hate her anymore. 2 pages before the end of the book. (Yes, I was reading a romance novel, why do you ask? _Pale Moon Rising_ by Ginna Gray). It’s not the first time I’ve seen the expression used in a romance novel–I’m pretty sure Stephanie Laurens used it in one of her books, perhaps \* A Secret Love\*, but there is no way I’m going to invest any energy in locating the book in question. More than you wanted to know, I’m sure. [/QUOTE] In that romance, Eureka… Does Brady get hurt just before the 2008 Super Bowl? 😃😃 And would you use “dog in a manger” for scenario in which a kid discards a toy and then snatches it back when another kid shows interest in it? I’m serious. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-dog-in-the-manger/432765/85 "2008-01-10T17:12:58Z")
[QUOTE=BarnOwl] And would you use “dog in a manger” for scenario in which a kid discards a toy and then snatches it back when another kid shows interest in it? I’m serious. [/QUOTE] Yes. It is used to describe a situation where someone doesn’t want/can’t use something, but actively prevents someone who does want/could use it from having it. ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-dog-in-the-manger/432765/86 "2008-01-10T17:21:23Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] Yes. It is used to describe a situation where someone doesn’t want/can’t use something, but actively prevents someone who does want/could use it from having it. [/QUOTE] I know that now. I want to know how you’d use the term in a sentence. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-dog-in-the-manger/432765/87 "2008-01-10T17:32:43Z")
“Ferdie, don’t be a dog in the manger – let your brother play with that toy since you don’t want to.” ETA: See post #58 for a good book of fables you can get those adorable grandbabies of yours! ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-dog-in-the-manger/432765/88 "2008-01-10T17:55:01Z")
Of course I do – or at least, I think I do. You’re referring to the Aesop’s fable, right? I’m 37, but I think I would have gotten this reference when I was 10! If you’re in less erudite company just use the more crass equivalent, _sh1t or get off the pot_. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-dog-in-the-manger/432765/89 "2008-01-10T18:02:42Z")
[QUOTE=BarnOwl] I want to know how you’d use the term in a sentence. [/QUOTE] It’s a reference, so one would say “don’t be [like] the dog in the manger”, assuming the other person would understand the reference to the story given the context. Another Aesop’s fables commonly referred to is the one with the ant and the grasshopper, where the grasshopper spends all summer goofing off while the ant is hard at work collecting food, then comes begging for food from the ant when the winter sets in. Or the use of the phrase “the lion’s share” as a reference to the fable where four animals, a Lion and three other “lesser” predators (a wolf, a fox, and a jackal) discuss about how to divide up a common kill. The Lion says to divide it into four equal parts, then claims “one share for my part in the hunt; another share for acting as the arbiter; another share because I am the King of the beasts; and as for the fourth part, which of you will take it from me?” ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-dog-in-the-manger/432765/90 "2008-01-10T18:06:29Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] Yes. It is used to describe a situation where someone doesn’t want/can’t use something, but actively prevents someone who does want/could use it from having it. [/QUOTE] This is why I never got the moral of the story (or rather, as an adult I get what it’s supposed to mean, but I didn’t understand it as a kid) – the dog is taking a nap in the manger, and the cow wants to eats the hay. But the dog _is_ using the hay, he’s using it for a bed! I always feel like it should be a cooperation story, like how the dog and cow can share the hay … but it always ends with the cow being disgruntled. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-dog-in-the-manger/432765/91 "2008-01-10T18:10:01Z")
[QUOTE=delphica] … but it always ends with the cow being disgruntled. [/QUOTE] Cows. They’re such surly animals. ---
**Author:** ![Montgomery\_Burns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/db5fbb/32.png) [@Montgomery\_Burns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montgomery_Burns)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-dog-in-the-manger/432765/92 "2008-01-10T20:52:29Z")
Don’t know what it means. I’m 49. ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-dog-in-the-manger/432765/93 "2008-01-10T21:09:31Z")
I don’t know what “dog in the manger” means. But I was surprised at how many people didn’t know “shibboleth”, which I do know. ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-dog-in-the-manger/432765/94 "2008-01-10T22:06:57Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] “Ferdie, don’t be a dog in the manger – let your brother play with that toy since you don’t want to.” ETA: See post #58 for a good book of fables you can get those adorable grandbabies of yours! [/QUOTE] Went to Post 58, then to amazon, and bought it. Thanks, twickster. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2008, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-dog-in-the-manger/432765/95 "2008-01-11T01:05:38Z")
For those who are keeping score (or I guess for those who wish someone would keep score, but prefer it be someone other than themselves): People 35 or younger who know the meaning of the phrase: 16 People 35 or younger who don’t know it: 12 People 36 or older who know it: 29 People 36 or older who don’t: 12 People who didn’t give an age who do: 3 People who didn’t give an age who don’t: 1 So that’s 48 yeses and 25 noes. Note on scoring: If you said “kind of” or “more or less,” that was a “no.” _Why_ you know it wasn’t taken into account – so those who encountered it in other contexts and looked it up are considered “yeses.” Those who asked a family member or coworker and gave that person’s response – those responses were counted as well. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2008, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-dog-in-the-manger/432765/96 "2008-01-11T01:45:49Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] **The Maltese Falcon** actually has zero to do with them – it was just another example of something this particular trio drew total blanks on when I refered to it in passing. [/QUOTE] Wait, not only had they not seen it, they didn’t know what it was?! And who names a baby “Ferdie”? Really, **Twicks** , I’m starting to wonder about the company you keep! Also, I agree that the moral makes no sense–how is sleeping on the hay not using it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-dog-in-the-manger/432765.md?page=4)