# Poll: For ALL Dopers in a relationship **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 14, 2008, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964 "2008-10-14T23:21:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Frustrated\_Wonderer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a4c791/32.png) [@Frustrated\_Wonderer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frustrated_Wonderer)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/1 "2008-10-14T23:21:05Z")
This poll is meant for all Dopers in a relationship. Wether it be boyfriend/girlfriend, same sex relationships, SO’s or marriage. 1. Do you mind if your partner alternates between two appearances with relative frequency? (e.g going from goatee to clean shave, going from brunette to blonde, etc) 2. If yes: are you straight forward in voicing your opinion to your partner? 3. How frequent do you argue with your partner about the way they dress/look? 4. On a scale from 1 (not important) to 10 (very Important), how would you rate “looks” as an important aspect in your relationship? ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/2 "2008-10-14T23:27:24Z")
1. No. He doesn’t really do it often though, about the most drastic is going blonde and then letting it grow out. He’s usually pretty quick about coloring it before it grows out too much though. 2. n/a 3. Occasionally. He sometimes wears things out to the bars that I don’t like. Enough guys check him out anyway without adding to it. 4. from my view maybe a 2, from his at least a 9. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Credible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a8b319/32.png) [@Justin\_Credible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Credible)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/3 "2008-10-14T23:28:41Z")
1. Nah, I think it would be cool, as long as both looks look good. 2. n/a 3. Fairly frequently. Usually to the tune of me telling her how good she looks, and her not believing me and changing clothes… 4. About a 6. You gotta be attracted to each other, but there are many far more important things. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/4 "2008-10-14T23:37:21Z")
1. He doesn’t, and neither do I, really. 2. N/A 3. Argue? Not really. We’ve been married 18+ years, so he’s got a pretty good idea of how I expect him to dress for an occasion, and we both tend toward dressing up rather than down for gatherings, unless we KNOW it’ll be uber-casual. 4. About 6. I’d say he’s on the better side of average-looking – neither a troll nor GQ material – but he’s attractive to me because he has nice twinkly eyes and a shit-eating grin. I’d say I have a nice face, but I’m no stereotypical babe either; doesn’t stop him form calling me “babe,” “hot stuff,” etc. I think we both try to look our best for each other. ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/5 "2008-10-14T23:38:40Z")
**1)Do you mind if your partner alternates between two appearances with relative frequency?** The husband often futzes around with different facial hair patterns. I have no problem with the futzing unless it’s stupid, which has happened maybe twice. **2) If yes: are you straight forward in voicing your opinion to your partner?** Completely. How frequently and openly we talk is an aspect of our relationship that I’m fairly proud of. **3) How frequent do you argue with your partner about the way they dress/look?** We don’t argue. He makes suggestions, I make suggestions, we seek each other’s opinions. **4) On a scale from 1 (not important) to 10 (very Important), how would you rate “looks” as an important aspect in your relationship?** 5. Mostly, I don’t want people to underrate him based on his looks (an unavoidable feature of society). But, I know he’s awesome, so if he’s frumpy, I get to keep him to myself. I get the feeling that the OP has been in a fight recently. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/6 "2008-10-14T23:47:07Z")
> [@Frustrated\_Wonderer](#): > > This poll is meant for all Dopers in a relationship. Wether it be boyfriend/girlfriend, same sex relationships, SO’s or marriage. > > 1. Do you mind if your partner alternates between two appearances with relative frequency? (e.g going from goatee to clean shave, going from brunette to blonde, etc) > > 2. If yes: are you straight forward in voicing your opinion to your partner? > > 3. How frequent do you argue with your partner about the way they dress/look? > > 4. On a scale from 1 (not important) to 10 (very Important), how would you rate “looks” as an important aspect in your relationship? 1. I don’t care. I barely notice. 2. N/A 3. Never. See #1. 1. 1. He doesn’t need to impress me and I don’t care if he impresses anybody else. I guess we’ll both occasionally say something along the lines of “You need a haircut,” but otherwise, the issues of looks never comes up. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/7 "2008-10-14T23:54:41Z")
\*\*1) Do you mind if your partner alternates between two appearances with relative frequency? (e.g going from goatee to clean shave, going from brunette to blonde, etc) \*\* I have absolutely no say in my wife’s appearance. She does what she does and I say it looks nice. On the other hand about half the time I come out of the bedroom after getting ready to go somewhere, she has other ideas and I comply. I don’t really give a shit about style or lack there of, I just go with her flow. \*\*2) If yes: are you straight forward in voicing your opinion to your partner? \*\* Yes, as long as my opinion is positive, if it’s not, I change my opinion. \*\*3) How frequent do you argue with your partner about the way they dress/look? \*\* Never! What the hell do I care how she dresses? I mean I guess if she put on dirty overalls and combat boots to go to a formal dinner I might ask her if she knew where we were going. If she said yes, I would just shrug and pull the car around front. **4) On a scale from 1 (not important) to 10 (very Important), how would you rate “looks” as an important aspect in your relationship?** 5, I like that she looks nice but it’s not a major concern. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/8 "2008-10-14T23:59:45Z")
> [@Frustrated\_Wonderer](#): > > 1. Do you mind if your partner alternates between two appearances with relative frequency? (e.g going from goatee to clean shave, going from brunette to blonde, etc) > > 2. If yes: are you straight forward in voicing your opinion to your partner? > > 3. How frequent do you argue with your partner about the way they dress/look? > > 4. On a scale from 1 (not important) to 10 (very Important), how would you rate “looks” as an important aspect in your relationship? 1. No. My boyfriend hates shaving, but dislikes the itchiness of a full beard, so he shaves about every third week and then he’s gradually scruffy until beardom again. My hair color hopscotches around different brownish shades, he only notices if I let the gray roots get long. 2. We never argue about appearances. He dislikes my selection of “crazy patterned pants” so I don’t wear them around him. Once in a while I’ll ask him to dress up a little nicer than he’d like, he accommodates me. We work more on the idea of complimenting each other for the things we like, he’ll make a pleasant fuss over how nice I look if I leave my hair down for instance, instead of telling the other one what to do. 3. 4? I mean, he has to be attractive to me and vice versa or we wouldn’t be together in the first place, but we’re very low maintenance types in general and don’t care much on a daily basis what the other one looks like. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/9 "2008-10-15T00:03:39Z")
> [@Frustrated\_Wonderer](#): > > 1. Do you mind if your partner alternates between two appearances with relative frequency? (e.g going from goatee to clean shave, going from brunette to blonde, etc) > > 2. If yes: are you straight forward in voicing your opinion to your partner? > > 3. How frequent do you argue with your partner about the way they dress/look? > > 4. On a scale from 1 (not important) to 10 (very Important), how would you rate “looks” as an important aspect in your relationship? 1. As a redheaded woman, my wife doesn’t grow facial hair and her hair wouldn’t look right if dyed another color, but I don’t think I’d mind. 2. Yes 3. Very rarely. I almost always love the way my wife looks, but if she digs a hideous old top or pair of shorts out I will say something and she’ll usually change without argument. Ditto if I put on something nasty. We critique each other rarely enough that we’ve both learned that when it happens, the other person is probably right. 4. I believe appearence is important, but not everything by any stretch. Sweatpants and a tshirt 3 sizes too big is perfectly fine for either of us around the house, but we both try to look presentable when we go out. Ok, you’re holding a gun to my head? 7. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/10 "2008-10-15T00:05:12Z")
[ 1. Do you mind if your partner alternates between two appearances with relative frequency? (e.g going from goatee to clean shave, going from brunette to blonde, etc) We’re too old to change much, except for her slightly different hair styles. Fine with me. 1. If yes: are you straight forward in voicing your opinion to your partner? N/A 2. How frequent do you argue with your partner about the way they dress/look? Never. How trivial. 3. On a scale from 1 (not important) to 10 (very Important), how would you rate “looks” as an important aspect in your relationship? about a 3. Brains count for far more. ---
**Author:** ![bubble\_pop\_electric](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecae2f/32.png) [@bubble\_pop\_electric](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubble_pop_electric)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/11 "2008-10-15T00:15:51Z")
1. Do you mind if your partner alternates between two appearances with relative frequency? (e.g going from goatee to clean shave, going from brunette to blonde, etc) Yeah, I hate it when he cuts his hair for some reason. Other than that he pretty much looks the same every day, but I know I wouldn’t like it if he were to alternate his appearance in the way you describe. I’ve never been good with change. 1. If yes: are you straight forward in voicing your opinion to your partner? Mmhmm. 1. How frequently do you argue with your partner about the way they dress/look? We rarely talk about the way he looks, unless we’re in the mall and he’s trying to buy, like, a sweater-vest or something, and I need to step in. He objects to what I wear at least once a week, and I smile sweetly and ignore him. He also doesn’t like it when I wear my hair up, but then again neither do I. 1. On a scale from 1 (not important) to 10 (very Important), how would you rate “looks” as an important aspect in your relationship? 3 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/12 "2008-10-15T00:19:17Z")
> [@Frustrated\_Wonderer](#): > > This poll is meant for all Dopers in a relationship. Wether it be boyfriend/girlfriend, same sex relationships, SO’s or marriage. > > 1. Do you mind if your partner alternates between two appearances with relative frequency? (e.g going from goatee to clean shave, going from brunette to blonde, etc) > > 2. If yes: are you straight forward in voicing your opinion to your partner? > > 3. How frequent do you argue with your partner about the way they dress/look? > > 4. On a scale from 1 (not important) to 10 (very Important), how would you rate “looks” as an important aspect in your relationship? 1. Don’t mind at all. Jim grows a full beard sometimes; it is just Jim with a beard then. 2. N/A. 3. Almost never. I’ll tell him if I like something he’s wearing or a colour looks really good on him, but I don’t do the stereotypical woman, “Is THAT what you’re wearing?” He’s a grown man; he dresses and grooms himself just fine. 4. That’s a tough one; looks aren’t _not_ important, but I love how my husband looks, so it’s all good to me. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/13 "2008-10-15T00:30:27Z")
> [@Frustrated\_Wonderer](#): > > This poll is meant for all Dopers in a relationship. Wether it be boyfriend/girlfriend, same sex relationships, SO’s or marriage. > > 1. Do you mind if your partner alternates between two appearances with relative frequency? (e.g going from goatee to clean shave, going from brunette to blonde, etc) I don’t mind at all. Airman has to shave for military duty, but the rest of the time he’s free to do what he wants. > [@](#): > > 1. If yes: are you straight forward in voicing your opinion to your partner? Not applicable. It doesn’t bother me, but if he looks especially good, I’ll tell him. > [@](#): > > 1. How frequent do you argue with your partner about the way they dress/look? Argue? Never. If he has to dress a particular way, I make sure he’s got what he needs. The rest of the time it’s not a big deal. > [@](#): > > 1. On a scale from 1 (not important) to 10 (very Important), how would you rate “looks” as an important aspect in your relationship? Seriously? It’s not important at all. He’s not ugly at all, and Lord knows he can hold his own in a conversation, which is all that matters. Robin ---
**Author:** ![MissIntent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/97f17d/32.png) [@MissIntent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissIntent)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/14 "2008-10-15T00:38:38Z")
1. Not at all. He often goes a couple days between shaving, all though he grows hair fairly slow. 2. I voice a positive opinion. I almost always tell him I think he looks cute with stubble, but that I like him equally clean shaven. 3. Never 4. I’m not sure how this fits in… I think he’s naturally extremely good looking, whether he’s in grungy clothes and hasn’t shaven in a week or if he’s all spiffed up in a suit. So I guess him getting cleaned up doesn’t change my attraction to him, but I always think to myself “Dang he’s hot… I’m so lucky!” ---
**Author:** ![Cider\_Depot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Cider\_Depot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cider_Depot)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/15 "2008-10-15T00:40:00Z")
1. No. We both periodically change our “look”. 2. N/A 3. Almost never. Sometime I get snotty about aligning our levels of “dress formality” when we go out. 4. 5 ---
**Author:** ![MadPansy64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@MadPansy64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPansy64)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/16 "2008-10-15T00:41:50Z")
**1) Do you mind if your partner alternates between two appearances with relative frequency? (e.g going from goatee to clean shave, going from brunette to blonde, etc)** Hubby shaves his beard in May, stops shaving in September. **2) If yes: are you straight forward in voicing your opinion to your partner?** N/A \*\*3) How frequent do you argue with your partner about the way they dress/look? \*\* He prefers I not get another orange crewcut, and I prefer him to shut the hell up when I’m trying to think of especially painful ways to kill a hairstylist without going to jail, so (doing the math) an average of once every 38 years. It should happen again in January, 2039. **4) On a scale from 1 (not important) to 10 (very Important), how would you rate “looks” as an important aspect in your relationship?** Five-ish, at most. I think he’s incredibly sexy, but his hair has very little do with that opinion. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/17 "2008-10-15T00:44:27Z")
1. No, I don’t mind. I’d love her even if she shaved her head (although it wouldn’t be a flattering look for her, and I’d tell her so). 2. Yes. We’re always truthful but tactful with each other. 3. Never. 4. Maybe 4. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/18 "2008-10-15T00:47:17Z")
**1) Do you mind if your partner alternates between two appearances with relative frequency? (e.g going from goatee to clean shave, going from brunette to blonde, etc)** My husband shaves his head randomly, then grows it out to a length where he can style it again, and then will shave again. It doesn’t bother me, and I like it when he lets me use the clippers on him! **2) If yes: are you straight forward in voicing your opinion to your partner?** I’ll tell him what I like, or if he messed up the styling (flat part due to gel or something), and I’ll definitely tell him when he needs a trim again, but that’s usually obvious because of how fuzzy his hair looks! I just let him know what I like, but it’s entirely up to him to do something about it. I expect the same from him. I am not offended when he tells me I should try a different hair cut, or need a trim, or my roots are showing too much. **3) How frequent do you argue with your partner about the way they dress/look?** Argue? Never. I’ll tell him what clothes I like most on him, and I’ll tell him which old, ratty t-shirts I hate (but he only wears them on the weekends when he knows we won’t be going out/seeing anyone!), and I’ll usually shop for clothes with him. He knows how to dress appropriately for whatever events/outings we go to, so while we discuss and share ideas about clothes, he doesn’t give me reason to be unhappy with what he wears (though I have stopped him from doing total faux-pas more than once!) **4) On a scale from 1 (not important) to 10 (very Important), how would you rate “looks” as an important aspect in your relationship?** That’s a bit of a tough one; it does matter that he doesn’t look awful (and that I don’t look awful either!), and we try and look good and wear clothes that fit us well when we can, but we aren’t very fashionable people and it isn’t something that takes a lot of our time. Maybe an 8? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/19 "2008-10-15T00:47:55Z")
1. This is theoretical, but I wouldn’t mind a bit, unless she went for the granny look. 2. We’re pretty honest with each other. 3. Never. She knows what I like, and she aims to please, but at the end of the day it’s her decision alone. 4. 1. That’s not to say that other aspects, such as personality, humor, sexuality, and fun aren’t important as well. But I love the way she looks, and for me, looking at her is a form of foreplay. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964/20 "2008-10-15T00:55:22Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. Do you mind if your partner alternates between two appearances with relative frequency? (e.g going from goatee to clean shave, going from brunette to blonde, etc) No. Don’t care. Usually don’t even notice. > [@](#): > > 1. If yes: are you straight forward in voicing your opinion to your partner? N/A > [@](#): > > 1. How frequent do you argue with your partner about the way they dress/look? Never once in almost 19 years. > [@](#): > > 1. On a scale from 1 (not important) to 10 (very Important), how would you rate “looks” as an important aspect in your relationship? 1. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-all-dopers-in-a-relationship/467964.md?page=2)