# Poll for non-Christians only - what's your take on the Easter scenerio. **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [April 14, 2001, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975 "2001-04-14T18:16:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![barflyer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dc4da7/32.png) [@barflyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/barflyer)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/1 "2001-04-14T18:16:42Z")
If you are (as I am) non-Christian, what do you make of the story of Easter? I’ve switched among all of these at one time or another. - The whole thing is made up by people reporting from a century later; no need to analyze it further. - That the story was concocted at the time of the crucifixion by the followers to keep the sect going. - That Jesus actually came out of a coma. - That Jesus had somehow faked death through fakir-style breath control. Of course he would still soon die of his wounds. - It could have reflected a combination of real events that didn’t happen to one person. In this view, one real person was crucified, another came out of a coma only to die again, and the two stories were combined a century later, in the way that Greek and Roman myths often combined parts of earlier stories. Any other takes on it? ---
**Author:** ![Opus1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/858c86/32.png) [@Opus1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opus1)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/2 "2001-04-14T18:59:48Z")
From another message I wrote in a different message board: > [@](#): > > My opinion, and that of many scholars, is that most early Christians (including Paul) believed in a _spiritual resurrection_. That is, they “saw” Jesus much in the same way that modern believers “hear” God. They believed that Jesus would return very soon to usher in the kingdom of Heaven. His appearances to them were to give them signs of how to live in the meantime, and the details of his coming again. The idea of a physical resurrection did not yet exist. > > But then the gnostics sprung up. They also believed in a spiritual resurrection of Jesus. But their Jesus did not just appear to James, Peter, and the original disciples but kept appearing to people who had never met him. There is substantial evidence that gnostics based beliefs and behavior on their own visions of Jesus, or the visions of their leaders. > > As such, by the time we get to the later gospels (Luke and John), it has become necessary to distinguish between the appearances of Jesus to his close disciples, and such later appearances. So the orthodox authorities devised a distinction: Jesus had _bodily_ appeared at first, and then was _bodily_ ascended to Heaven after 40 days. All subsequent appearances were non-authoritative, and should be disregarded in shaping personal behavior and church policy, unlike the earlier bodily ones. > > Thus, when James, Peter, and the other early Christians were martyred, the idea of a physical resurrection was a non-issue. It did not even exist. A good summary of such a position can be found in Russell Shorto’s _Gospel Truth_, in the chapter entitled “Resurrection.” ---
**Author:** ![Brian\_Bunnyhurt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9d8465/32.png) [@Brian\_Bunnyhurt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brian_Bunnyhurt)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/3 "2001-04-14T19:15:24Z")
Easter comes to us from Phrygia and the age-old “Passion of Attis” (recognized by Phrygians as also being Osiris in Egypt) during the festival of Cybele, which is also where the sacrament of eating the savior-god’s flesh and blood comes from. For four days during Easter the monks hung an effigy of Attis on a pine trunk in the temple, while the ititiate monks castrated themselves and played music and danced in frenzy. Then the effigy was removed and placed in a tomb. The tomb was then ritualistically opened the next day at dawn (March 25th) and the God was not there. He had been resurrected into eternal life. Originally, a live priest would have been sacrificed. These rituals took place over a thousand years before Christianity. According to Martin Larson in _The Story of Christian Origins_ the second most controversial doctrine in Christianity was the time of the Crucifixion. The Eastern Orthodox accepted the same date as passover, the Western faction, however (Irenaeus, Lactantius) disputed this and suggested to the date to be the same as the Attis festival, the first days of Spring. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/4 "2001-04-14T20:20:00Z")
barflyer wrote: > [@](#): > > If you are (as I am) non-Christian, what do you make of the story of Easter? It sounds like a myth. I mean, an anthropomorphic rabbit, circumnavigating the world in under 24 hours, planting enough brightly-colored hard-boiled eggs to feed a small country? Come on. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/5 "2001-04-14T20:29:45Z")
It’s a good excuse to cook a ham. And a month later, when the ham is finally consumed, you have a nice ham-bone and you can make split-pea soup. Also, the ovoid-shape is an excellent vehicle for milk-chocolate confections. And the resurrection stuff makes for a charming fairy-tale story, great for regaling the kids with after you’re all full of ham and chocolate, as long as you follow it up by telling them about the death of Baldur and every OTHER back-to-life story from world legendry. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/6 "2001-04-14T20:48:12Z")
Well, I do loves them hard-boiled eggs! Oh, and biting the heads off chocolate rabbits, although, I tend to bite the face off of the hollow ones. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/7 "2001-04-14T21:32:25Z")
> [@](#): > > I tend to bite the face off of the hollow ones. Hollow chocolate rabbits are an abomination unto…unto…unto whichever deity died at this time of year so that we could celebrate it! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/8 "2001-04-14T21:37:01Z")
Cadbury Cream Eggs. That alone makes Easter worthwhile. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/9 "2001-04-15T05:53:51Z")
And don’t forget those chocolate-covered marshmallow “eggs”. One of the local stores carries a brand of chocolate-covered egg-shaped[sup]1[/sup] marshmallows in a container that looks like a dozen-egg carton. [sup]1) actually, they’re only shaped like half an egg, as though the egg had been cut in half lengthwise.[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/10 "2001-04-15T14:13:08Z")
Hey, any excuse to celebrate a pagan fertility holiday is good by me. Even one who’s symbols have been co-opted by a dominant religion. Now where’s Mrs Chance got to? I’m feeling a need for celebration comin’ on… ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/11 "2001-04-15T14:51:39Z")
Your Friendly Neighborhood Atheist’s take on the Christian Easter story: A combination of several myths put together by early Christians - possibly unconsciously - sometime after the fact. I think “a century later” is too late, since the earliest written events may date from about 40 years or so after the events were alleged to have taken place. Your Friendly Neighborhood Atheist’s take on the Easter holiday as currently celebrated in her neighborhood (see signature): A five-day weekend is fun if you’re celebrating something. An enforced five-day weekend (with no stores open, no newspapers printed, etc. etc.) is too friggin’ long if you’re not celebrating anything. At least the food is good. Chocolate. Marzipan. Ham. I can live with it. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/12 "2001-04-15T14:55:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by flodnak \* > **since the earliest written events may date from about 40 years or so after the events were alleged to have taken place.** Earliest written **records** , dammit. Records. I even previewed. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![trickie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b487fb/32.png) [@trickie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trickie)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/13 "2001-04-15T15:07:32Z")
If it weren’t for Christianity we wouldn’t have long weekends in April and December.Long live Christianity! ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/14 "2001-04-16T02:24:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by trickie \* > \*\*If it weren’t for Christianity we wouldn’t have long weekends in April and December.Long live Christianity! \*\* Long weekends? The pagans took long _weeks_ off to celebrate and recover. Boo christians. 😉 Peace, mangeorge ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/15 "2001-04-16T03:59:59Z")
Ah, but the pagans only took weeks off because there was nothing – I mean **nothing** – to do between the last harvest (on Samhain, which is now Halloween) and the first planting season (in early Spring, e.g. around Easter time). ---
**Author:** ![jack\_ss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c77e96/32.png) [@jack\_ss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jack_ss)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/16 "2001-04-16T05:00:20Z")
“Take, eat, this is my body…Take, drink, this is my blood” (or something very close to that). I think there are three definite possibilities: 1. The fakir idea, that Jesus put himself in some kind of trance, faking death, his comatose body was recovered from the crypt, nursed back to health, he went on a brief speaking tour 40 days later (why does everything in the bible take 40 days? Any students of the Khabala want to hit that question? I’ll hit the archives.) 2. The body was stolen by a second faction/enemy of his followers. I have no cites for this, I just think it would be a hell of a prank to play on a cult of fanatics. 3. The apostles took Jesus’ lifeless body from the crypt and either: a: buried it somewhere else b: Took his advice literally and ate it. This may have something to do with the origin of christianity allowing the consumption of lots of tasty animals formerly forbidden by Judaism. However, I have never heard of any christian sects practicing ritual cannibalism; it may have been abandoned early in church history. ---
**Author:** ![jack\_ss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c77e96/32.png) [@jack\_ss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jack_ss)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/17 "2001-04-16T05:07:39Z")
Please don’t jump me for listing three possibilities and numbering the third one “4”. I almost forgot that the best part of Easter (and Halloween)is the clearance sale of candy the next day! ---
**Author:** ![ssj\_man2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ssj\_man2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ssj_man2k)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/18 "2001-04-16T06:40:15Z")
Those 3 days that Jesus was dead was really him recuporating from his crusifixion. It was kept secret, and only his closest friends and relatives knew aout it. Then, when he was recovered enough, he was “resurrected.” The only thing signifigant Easter, for me anyways, is that everything is closed and there is lots of commercialism, and lots of people going to church. ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/19 "2001-04-16T14:56:17Z")
Hey, your friendly, neighborhood Polytheist here! How about one option that’s not been discussed; the story of the death and Resurrection of the Nazarene took place pretty much as described in the Gospels. In other words, it did happen, a man died the horrible death of crucifiction and was revived by divine intervention 3 days later. The point to emphasize here is that while this proves the existence of the J/C/I God, it likewise, doesn’t disprove the existence of other Gods. The OP seems to make the assumption that you have to believe in (the J/C/I) God or not, there are no other alternatives. I say there are other alternatives and you can make a choice between them. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975/20 "2001-04-16T15:20:49Z")
Ex-Catholic here. I never got what this “three days” jazz was all about. We’re talking entombment from late Friday afternoon until early Sunday morning. That’s slightly more than a day and a half. One full day plus some hours out of the other days. How do you get three days out of that? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-non-christians-only-whats-your-take-on-the-easter-scenerio/61975.md?page=2)