# Poll for women: what do you want to hear? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 29, 2005, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722 "2005-03-29T03:04:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/1 "2005-03-29T03:04:25Z")
According to an online article I just read, these are the top 10 things women want to hear from their significant others: “You’re beautiful.” “You’re a great lover.” “You’re so smart.” “You’re my best friend.” “You’re the most important thing to me.” “I would never lie to you.” “I have never cheated on you.” “I’d be lost without you.” “You’re funny.” “I love you.” So women, do you agree with this list? Which of these do you most want to hear? Which is least important? What other things do you think should have made the list? Which do you actually hear the most often and the least often? ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/2 "2005-03-29T03:07:07Z")
Why isn’t “i’m glad all those pretty women rejected me and I ended up approaching you” on the list? For that matter “wear this dress, you look more like my mother when you do” should be on the list too. ---
**Author:** ![Skellington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Skellington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skellington)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/3 "2005-03-29T03:08:26Z")
“Of corse it’s a real diamond” ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/4 "2005-03-29T03:13:33Z")
My girl loves to hear: “You were right honey”. Gives her tremedous satisfaction! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Abbie\_Carmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/5 "2005-03-29T03:40:46Z")
Hmm they’re all great, but I’d rather hear “you’re so smart” or “you’re beautiful.” (I won’t _believe_ him on the beautiful thing, but it’s nice to hear nonetheless.) ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/6 "2005-03-29T03:48:30Z")
Well, ok. I’ll bite. This could be fun. Based on my current (and I hope permenent)SO: You’re beautiful." People telling me I’m beuatiful has never done much for me. It’s not like I have all that much to do with it…he thinks I’m beuatiful and that makes me happy. But I don’t have to hear it.(Well, maybe if we’re going out somewhere and I’m feeling insecure). “You’re a great lover.” Much more important that being beautiful. But I’d rather he showed it than said it 😃 “You’re so smart.” Always good. Better than beautiful. And particualy in his case 'cuz I know he’s smarter than me. “You’re my best friend.” Bliss “You’re the most important thing to me.” Difficult. I can’t be the most important thing to him right now because he’s got too much else he has to deal with. So him saying that would make me feel I was weighing him down. Though I want to be important to him. “I would never lie to you.” Bullshit. Everybody lies. You can’t be in a relationship (one that survives) without a lie her and there. I would never trust someone who said that to me. “I have never cheated on you.” Complicated. First of all we have an open relationship. So what “cheating” is may not be what is normally considered so. But more importantly, are we talking about the saying or the doing? I don’t need to hear it. I just need to trust him. “I’d be lost without you.” Not good. I want to help him. I don’t want him to be needy. Not good in either direction. “You’re funny.” Well, unless he meant my crossed eyes and unusually positioned nose…saying I make him laugh is a very good thing. “I love you.” Good. Always good. I guess with the exception that some guys say it because they think they have to. But some don’t. And that’s very very good. What else? When I got depressed he would hold me and say “I’ve got you”. What else? I wrote him about going to a book sale and he wrote back something about pictuing me going throught the book and exclaming over my finds and that made him smile. And His writing that made me smile. That;'s what worked for me. So…I’m sorry for you men, once again the key to a woman’s heart is getting to know that particualr woman. Still no Cliff notes available. What else? Well, there was that noise he’d make when he was about to come. I loved hearing that. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/7 "2005-03-29T04:00:16Z")
“You’re beautiful.” “You’re a genius.” Actually heard this, not all that long ago. Of course he was full of blarney. Still nice to hear. I am also partial to, “Oh, don’t worry about cleaning up the house. I’ll do that tomorrow.” Or I think I would be partial to it, if I’d ever heard it. I wonder why it wasn’t on that list? The one I’d least like to hear: “I have never cheated on you.” Why? Because I wouldn’t have asked, so if I heard this . . . I’d be suspicious. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/8 "2005-03-29T04:05:38Z")
This may seem shallow but when my S.O. told me that I was “impressive” in bed, I thought I’d float right on up to the ceiling. He could’ve been lying but I didn’t care. I didn’t walk around the office the next day, I _strutted_. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/9 "2005-03-29T05:09:11Z")
All of them with the exception of “I would never lie to you.” and “I have never cheated on you.” Just cause if my husband said that to me, 1. It’s sort of like, well, duh! He doesn’t have enough time in the day to do either, 2. Taken by themselves, if I heard either I’d wonder why it was brought up :dubious: 3. Hi, Opal! ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/10 "2005-03-29T05:54:55Z")
On paper, “You’re my girl” should be annoying and bordering on repulsive. But when he actually _says_ it? I melt like a big melty thing. ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/11 "2005-03-29T06:10:44Z")
**Which of these do you most want to hear?** I want to hear the ones he really means. **Which is least important?** “I’d be lost without you.” That one kind of creeps me out. I don’t do “needy” very well. **What other things do you think should have made the list?** “Thanks for not lying to me to trap me and for not playing bullshit games”? (i.e., “I respect and admire you.”) **Which do you actually hear the most often and the least often?** Most often: I often am commended about my abilities in the sack, but I would prefer to be judged and praised on something that is more about my soul than about my body or sex. Least often? “I’ll take out the trash for you anytime!” ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/12 "2005-03-29T06:52:34Z")
“What did I do wrong this time?” (only not in _that_ tone of voice!) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/13 "2005-03-29T07:11:37Z")
I agree with the other women here about _I’d be lost without you._ That’s not really a compliment. The older I get, the more important it becomes to me to know that he would be okay. The compliment that I hear most often is about my sense of humor and sometimes he says, "_You look good"_ – just often enough that I think he means it. “_I love you_” is my biggest security blanket. To the list I would add that when I am sick or having problems with anxiety or depression, he always asks what he can do for me. There really _are_ things he can do and it is so good to be reminded that he wants to help. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/14 "2005-03-29T11:11:42Z")
😕 “Here’s my wallet. Go have yourself a blast.” Didn’t make the top ten?? ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/15 "2005-03-29T11:19:08Z")
“Negative, negative my blood tests are negative,” isn’t a contender, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/16 "2005-03-29T11:21:52Z")
“Damnit, you just beat me at Trivial Pursuit!” Not that he’ll ever say that, but it would make me happy. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/17 "2005-03-29T11:32:31Z")
“Hey, I just made a killing in the stock market! We’re set for life! Now if only I could get rid of this crushing chest pain…” ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/18 "2005-03-29T11:38:48Z")
**"You’re beautiful."** -That’s always nice. **"You’re a great lover."** -Ditto. **"You’re so smart."** -I like being my SO’s intellectual equal, this one isn’t so important to me. **"You’re my best friend."** -No, honey, I’m your SO, you have a best friend, and I’m not him, nor would I want to take his place. **"You’re the most important thing to me."** - Good, and you’re the most important thing to me to. **"I would never lie to you."** - I’d bloody well hope so. **"I have never cheated on you."** - What do you want? A medal? **"I’d be lost without you."** - No, you’d be really sad, and then you’d move on with your life, like a real man. **"You’re funny."** - That’s nice, but I’m not. **"I love you."** - I like this one best. \*\*Which of these do you most want to hear? \*\* I love you. It just says everything I want to hear. \*\*Which is least important? \*\* I would never lie to you. I expect to my SO to tell me the truth, to even suggest that this is something out of the ordinary is insulting to both of us. Likewise, the idea that I should be insanely grateful that my SO isn’t sleeping around is a little hard to swallow. **What other things do you think should have made the list?** I’m so lucky to be with you I love spending time with you You’re the best I love your cooking Why don’t you put your feet up, I’ll take care of it How can I help? What do you want me to do? Why don’t you let me treat you? **Which do you actually hear the most often and the least often?** Most often: I love you, You’re so cute, You have such a great body, I’m so lucky to be marrying you. Least often:You’re funny, I have never cheated on you, I’d be lost without you. I wouldn’t have it any other way. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/19 "2005-03-29T12:51:37Z")
“I’ve just signed over my insurance policy to you. AAAAGGGHHH! A TRUCK!” ---
**Author:** ![uglybeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/82dd89/32.png) [@uglybeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uglybeech)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722/20 "2005-03-29T13:27:13Z")
All of these statements are fine, but they’d be much more mellifluous prefaced by “Hi, I’m Clive Owen.” “Hi, I’m Clive Owen, and I’d be lost without you” would be quite pleasing to the ear. Likewise, “Hi, I’m Bill Gates, and you’ll never have to worry about money again” has a certain ring to it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-for-women-what-do-you-want-to-hear/296722.md?page=2)