# Poll: Have you ever masturbated at work? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 22, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371 "2010-05-22T15:28:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/61 "2010-05-23T08:25:58Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > Well of course not. Wouldn’t that make your job harder? Plus it’s just unprofessional for the fluffers to fluff themselves on the job. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/62 "2010-05-23T08:45:26Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > Well of course not. Wouldn’t that make your job harder? Quite. I wouldn’t be able to hold the camera steady, for starters. Plus, it would make the floors sticky. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/63 "2010-05-23T15:31:45Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > What’s so disgraceful - masturbating? If God didn’t want us to masturbate, She wouldn’t have made our arms long enough to reach our genitals. I’ve seen male horses masturbating, and they _don’t even have_ hands! ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/64 "2010-05-23T19:33:19Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > What, really? As often as I get erect, that would pretty freakin’ annoying. It doesn’t bother me at all if I don’t get off when incidentally aroused. Sorry, I meant to only reply to the first part of his comment. It doesn’t really bother me not to get off (though of course I’d rather 😉 ). I mostly meant that being easily aroused doesn’t necessarily go away when you get out of your teens/early 20’s. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/65 "2010-05-24T00:12:39Z")
I wish this poll had been divided by sex. I have sometimes envied a woman’s ability to be stealthy about masturbation, if she so chooses. Despite that, from what I know of the posters’ names here, it seems the majority of the Workplace Wankers crew are men. “Fairer sex,” indeed. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/66 "2010-05-24T00:20:46Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > I have sometimes envied a woman’s ability to be stealthy about masturbation, if she so chooses. You sure about that? I was always under the impression that women are loud when it comes to their masturbation (see **NinetyWt** ’s post). I don’t make noise at all. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/67 "2010-05-24T00:21:52Z")
If I could think of the least desirable and appropriate place to masturbate, that would be work. I can’t even fathom why anyone would want to do this. I suppose I’m not surprised that people do it, but it really does boggle my mind. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/68 "2010-05-24T00:26:10Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I’ve seen male horses masturbating, and they _don’t even have_ hands! Well, there you go - God wants everyone to masturbate. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/69 "2010-05-24T00:31:04Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > If I could think of the least desirable and appropriate place to masturbate, that would be work. I can’t even fathom why anyone would want to do this. I suppose I’m not surprised that people do it, but it really does boggle my mind. I think this is a difference in the sexes. **Rushgeekgirl** mentioned that she couldn’t imagine ever getting in the mood at work. That sounds so alien to me. In “the mood”? I get a boner and so I take care of it. It only takes three minutes and it’s done. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/70 "2010-05-24T00:43:54Z")
I don’t think at work (not during normal work hours anyway) but when I was at high school I once did during a physics class. (I mean in the classroom, under the desk. I kept my pants on though, and had to live with the consequences down there.) ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/71 "2010-05-24T02:03:19Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > I don’t think at work (not during normal work hours anyway) but when I was at high school I once did during a physics class. (I mean in the classroom, under the desk. I kept my pants on though, and had to live with the consequences down there.) Was the physics lesson on arc and trajectory? \ ---
**Author:** ![bauble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@bauble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bauble)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/72 "2010-05-24T02:16:07Z")
I have, when I was younger. And know that a woman I was flirting with did, on occasion. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/73 "2010-05-24T02:25:18Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > You sure about that? I was always under the impression that women are loud when it comes to their masturbation (see **NinetyWt** ’s post). I don’t make noise at all. I think this is really gonna depend on the woman. I don’t make any noise. I think for a some women masturbation can be a big deal involving toys, a great deal of time, etc. For others, it’s much like a man- rub, rub, okay let’s get on with the day. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/74 "2010-05-24T03:14:57Z")
> [@boytyperanma](#): > > Many years ago. When I was 14-18. I worked at a business that sometimes I had no whole days with no one else around. Or during the school year I was going to school hoping a train then working 4-5 hours. Never beat off in school, had to do it sometime. > > After that never once at work. I work for myself now in other peoples homes, I’d never consider beating off in a customers house. I can always go home anytime I want… I did once see a “Consumer Report” type show where contractors were videoed doing a job and then critiqued about what they did right or wrong. One guy did get caught “working it” in the ladies bedroom, with her panties on tape. Then there was also the pumber that peed into a plastic bowl, and tipped it into the washing machine with the family washing inside). Have I masturbated at work? Yep. Alsmost got caught once too. Under the desk, lucky it didn’t have a glass top when she walked in… ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/75 "2010-05-24T03:16:51Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I’ve seen male horses masturbating, and they _don’t even have_ hands! How exactly does a horse masturbate? Now I’m curious… ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/76 "2010-05-24T03:18:27Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > How exactly does a horse masturbate? Now I’m curious… Most mammals will masturbate when left alone long enough. A male horse will slap its dick against its belly. Funny because that’s how I do it, too. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/77 "2010-05-24T03:21:02Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > What’s so disgraceful - masturbating? If God didn’t want us to masturbate, She wouldn’t have made our arms long enough to reach our genitals. Yeah, but if I couldn’t reach my genitals, it would make it awful difficult to pull back the ol’ turtle neck and aim :D:) ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/78 "2010-05-24T03:23:16Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > _snip_ Brain Bleach, economy size please! ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/79 "2010-05-24T03:50:03Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Most mammals will masturbate when left alone long enough. A male horse will slap its dick against its belly. > > Funny because that’s how I do it, too. Huh…I could say that I slap mine against my chest…but that would be boasting (and lying) ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/80 "2010-05-24T03:51:01Z")
> [@Ruby](#): > > Was the physics lesson on arc and trajectory? \ Well, I don’t remember. If I had been paying any attention to the physics, it probably wouldn’t have happened. But anyway, there was no arc or trajectory, everything stayed in my pants. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371.md?page=5)