# Poll: Have you ever masturbated at work? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 22, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371 "2010-05-22T15:28:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/81 "2010-05-24T04:02:29Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > Brain Bleach, economy size please! Hahaha. =D ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/82 "2010-05-24T04:06:57Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > Well, I don’t remember. If I had been paying any attention to the physics, it probably wouldn’t have happened. But anyway, there was no arc or trajectory, everything stayed in my pants. I’d be interested in how you got away with that without being noticed by those sitting closest to you? ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/83 "2010-05-24T04:12:56Z")
No way. I take forever to get off, I’m never that horny at work anyway, too many people enter the bathroom while I’m in it (and hell no I’m not doing it in front of an audience), no privacy otherwise (I don’t work in an office or cube), and whenever I’m on break I’m thinking “MUST EAT NOW STOMACH ABOUT TO IMPLODE.” There’s an even greater sense of urgency when my only break is fifteen minutes long. Masturbation is a loooooooooong way down on my list of things to do at work. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/84 "2010-05-24T04:14:31Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > I’ve never had a work bathroom clean enough to even think about it. What’s the cleanliness of the bathroom got to do with it? Stand there, whip it out, rub a dub lub. Finish. Dun have to sit down or touch anything…If can pee there then can squirt a bit also… ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/85 "2010-05-24T04:51:40Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > Brain Bleach, economy size please! That’s way too much. You only need about a ladle’s worth. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/86 "2010-05-24T07:31:05Z")
I work from home. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/87 "2010-05-24T08:14:35Z")
> [@Ace309](#): > > That’s way too much. You only need about a ladle’s worth. Touché. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/88 "2010-05-24T08:48:35Z")
I’ve masturbated in public places, but considering I teach children I don’t think enjoying myself at work would be the smartest thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![Future\_Londonite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9dc877/32.png) [@Future\_Londonite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Future_Londonite)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/89 "2010-05-24T11:35:46Z")
I have on occassion…weirdest thing was when the guy in the stall next to me was having a wank (I was not at the time), and we’re talking stalls with gaps at the bottom so it wasn’t too difficult to figure out what was going on in the stall next to me4 based on the shadows 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/90 "2010-05-24T11:43:06Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > How exactly does a horse masturbate? Now I’m curious… \*\*AClockworkMelon \*\*'s reply was accurate. The horse just begins swinging it (and remember, he’s hung like a horse). As it slaps against his belly, it becomes erect. Sinful behaviour! ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/91 "2010-05-24T13:08:45Z")
Yes, a few times, and I know colleagues who’ve done the same thing. Our bathrooms are immaculate and we used to have floor to ceiling doors on the cubicles so you’d be completely enclosed. Since we refurbished there is a gap at the top and bottom of the doors so I’d never consider doing it now - bad enough that people have to hear me pooing. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/92 "2010-05-24T13:13:44Z")
> [@Rala](#): > > If school counts as work. A young teacher at a middle school was caught jacking off in school. The janitor caught him in te act, he also left evidece in the garbage can. The teach admitted to having a daily habit - girls panties helped him get off, maybe the big picture window in his office was also a turn on for him as well. maybe some of ya’ll responding need your own ejaculate room at work, oughta bring that up to HR or find a new hobby? ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/93 "2010-05-24T13:31:20Z")
I’m 43 and have probably been doing it for 20 years. I have done it many, many times. Sometimes I’ll be working and the thought just sneaks in and begins distracting me… I know I won’t be able to focus on what I’m doing until I address the need, so I head to the men’s room. Ten minutes later I’m back at work and can go on with my day. Other times, my wife will call or text me after having just done it herself and challenge me to sneak away to do it, and tell me to call or text her when I’m done. It’s a little game we like to play. After she gets the kids off to school and comes back from the gym, she’ll shower then take a few minutes for herself. She always lets me know when she’s done. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/94 "2010-05-24T13:45:58Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > After she gets the kids off Now, that’s just plain wrong.:eek: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/95 "2010-05-24T13:50:51Z")
> [@Discipline](#): > > Caught? Wtf dude, go into the bathroom and use a stall. You don’t just whip it out in a unscheduled conference room. See now, this is where this thread reaches the level of “_Where the hell do you people work, anyhow_??!” When is there ever a free conference room? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/96 "2010-05-24T14:00:19Z")
As someone else mentioned, girls can do it super-quietly. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/97 "2010-05-24T14:18:43Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > As someone else mentioned, girls can do it super-quietly. 🆒 Yeah, but we like it better when you don’t hold back. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/98 "2010-05-24T14:25:17Z")
Nope but I have had sex in former workplace. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/99 "2010-05-24T14:40:20Z")
I’d like to say that it’s never occurred to me. But a few times in the past couple of years I’ve had e-mail exchanges with a few women that made me really want to. But I waited until I got home. ---
**Author:** ![Rala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@Rala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rala)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371/100 "2010-05-24T15:05:21Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > No, just work. Take off one of the ‘Yes’ votes, in that case. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-have-you-ever-masturbated-at-work/540371.md?page=6)