# POLL: Honestly, did you believe Umkay's story before she was outed? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 26, 2012, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375 "2012-06-26T18:46:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/41 "2012-06-26T20:12:26Z")
I was feeling suspicious because she never really talked about finances, which I asked about in the ‘Ask the…’ thread. If there’s anything I’ve learned from the internet, it’s that pretty much every person in the US that has to deal with disabilities spends time bitching about how much it costs. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/42 "2012-06-26T20:17:43Z")
I participated in the the thread. I did actually have some doubts, but I thought: “Well, if all the other people believe it, then it must be me”. That I easily swayed by the crowd wasn’t something I believed about myself and didn’t like discovering. Self-ignorance fought, I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/43 "2012-06-26T20:25:09Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > I didn’t know/suspect she was fake but I also never read past the first few pages and didn’t contribute at all to the thread. So I didn’t invest much energy into wondering/caring if she was legit or not. > [@DeepLiquid](#): > > Sure I did, I’m gullible that way. It just doesn’t occur to me that people would go to the trouble of lying, then having to keep up all the lies of a fake persona. A little of each of these for me. The whole thread quickly became TLDR for me. And, it just would never occur to me to do such a thing so I don’t expect it from others. What happens in a person’s life to make that kind of effort and deception fun? This may be the most callous thing I’ve ever posted, but I feel sad for any Dopers who expire in the next week or so if their survivors let us know. “Oh yeah, Gwen’s sister…if that IS your real name, can you link to the death certificate?” ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/44 "2012-06-26T20:29:22Z")
I was willing to believe it. Why not? I know some quads\* in real life, and there was no way I was going to ever ask them “How do you take a shit? How do you have sex?” It didn’t seem different from any other “Ask the” thread at first. But as soon as the “Umkay is dead” thing came out, I figured this wasn’t real. Too much, too fast, ever have a relationship that happened that way? Yeah. And then it occurred to me that most “Ask the” threads have a lot more time between bunches of answers, even when people are not typing them with a stick in their teeth. I never saw the devote thread, or if I did, it wouldn’t have sparked my interest anyway. I would have thought it meant something related to fan fiction, or Bronies, or something else I don’t know about and have no interest in knowing about. \*One of them was injured on the same day as Superman. He ended up considered a quad, but he had the use of his arms. (Unlike Superman this guy is still alive, if not kicking.) If I hadn’t been too lazy I probably would have asked **umkay** about that. Who makes those decisions, what are the criteria, and what on earth does having a label even mean? Now I’ll never know. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/45 "2012-06-26T20:36:26Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > After she came back from the dead I most certainly started having suspicions at that point. But not during her “Ask the Wheelchair Chick” or whatever it was called. This. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/46 "2012-06-26T20:37:03Z")
I didn’t suspect a thing, but I didn’t pay too much attention to her either. I read like two pages of her thread, thought “Wow, that’s pretty cool”, and moved on. I also read about the “Should I date a \_\_\_?” but I had nothing to add, so why would I? Then I didn’t post here all weekend and came back to a big old kerfluffle on Monday. I never even was here for the “death” notice until it had already been debunked. Mostly went without notice. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/47 "2012-06-26T20:38:52Z")
I never read any of the wheelchair thread (or any of “her” others). I noticed it kept growing, it always seemed off to me, like, what the hell are they talking about in there? The first time it hit my radar was the “I’m not really dead” thread. A cursory glance at it and a look at what it was referring to was all I needed to know to sniff out a troll. I didn’t realize at first that it was all the same poster. Not surprising. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/48 "2012-06-26T20:42:26Z")
Didn’t suspect a thing, although I was rather bemused by all the attention she garnered. Not sure why being a happy well adjusted person who happens to be in a wheelchair is considered to be so amazing to others. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/49 "2012-06-26T20:43:18Z")
I believed her, but I tend to take most things here at face value. However, I didn’t like her and didn’t get the adulation. I found her a little too perky and I don’t do perky overload. I did post a question in the “Ask the…” thread which she missed, so I read a bit here and there but didn’t get nearly as invested as a lot of other folks did. In the NotOkay thread I did ask for a link to the obit, because I was genuinely curious to read it, but also as a bit of a test to see if there was one. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/50 "2012-06-26T20:45:02Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > , like, what the hell are they talking about in there? I wonder that about a lot of threads. Like the avatars one. How could that go to 10-12 pages? I like avatars. I don’t. We’re having them. We’re not having them. After you’ve said all that, what more is there to be said? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/51 "2012-06-26T20:45:58Z")
Do you think her parents really do have Dobermans, though? I hope so, because Dobes are cute. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/52 "2012-06-26T20:48:01Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I wonder that about a lot of threads. Like the avatars one. How could that go to 10-12 pages? > > I like avatars. > I don’t. > We’re having them. > We’re not having them. > > After you’ve said all that, what more is there to be said? 😕 “I want them, and your post on page 4 of the thread shows that your conflicting opinion makes you a poopie-head.” “Well, your post here – which had a TYPO – and your previous post, combined with **User42** ’s blatant lies back on page 11, make it obvious that YOU are the poopie-head.” These things take a while to sort out. ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/53 "2012-06-26T20:49:24Z")
I was taken in. I found **umkay** ’s writing style engaging and the subject matter interesting. I’m sorry she’s been exposed and banned, but only because I’ll miss the entertainment. I don’t really mind having been fooled, but I’ll have my eyes open next time. ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/54 "2012-06-26T20:49:45Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > I don’t believe or pay attention to anyone who joins a message board specifically to talk about their issues. If you’re a relatively new poster, and the first threads that you start are “help me with this personal problem” or “please console me”, you’re not going to see me participating in that thread - because the track record of such threads on this board has been overwhelmingly poor (in my experience, admittedly chock full of confirmation bias). Why people continue to engage and feed such threads is absolutely beyond me. Yes, this is my reaction too. Sensationist stories tend to give me a raised eyebrow, at least unil there is a little more evidence or a longer post history to rely on. Ambivalid would be an example of this. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/55 "2012-06-26T20:53:30Z")
I still haven’t seen the original, so I didn’t vote. I did see the outrage thread when she blasted notokay, and I was quite dubious. I can’t really say why, I jut had the feeling that they were the same person. It may just be that I’m always skeptical this time of year. Anything dramatic that happens in Summer gets an extra pinch of salt. In the case though, I generally also choose to keep my mouth shut. Don’t want to feed the trolls, nor do I want to insult a real person in a truly bad situation; so silence is golden. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/56 "2012-06-26T20:57:11Z")
I was leery from her very first post in the devotee thread - I thought it was odd for a newcomer to be calling us “dopers” already. I couldn’t imagine her really being a longtime lurker as she claimed, as there had been many, many threads where she would have had a reason to participate. She did not have the personality of a lurker. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/57 "2012-06-26T21:03:42Z")
Surely **umkay** was just the obvious tip of a troll iceberg. The trade-off for anonymity is honesty. Who knows how many people posting here are pretending to be something they’re not? For some it’s probably little white lies about age or personal experiences. But there are certainly others who have completely manufactured an identity, be it switching genders or faking an occupation or claiming imaginary spouses and children or a million other possibilities. I didn’t suspect umkay until the death notice, mostly because I didn’t read either of her IMHO threads. That level of trolling is just nuts. Actually, it’s more than that. It’s sad and pathetic and I don’t think trolling is even the right word for it. Conventional trolling is minor pranking and posting provocatively to wind people up. What umkay did was a con job designed to abuse the generosity and trust of basically good-hearted people. That’s fucked up. As for Frosty, didn’t some sleuths try to find a news story that matched his supposed circumstances? Something like that would have been reported on. On the other hand, did he even specify what country he lived in? So once again, who knows? ---
**Author:** ![This\_Just\_In\_2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@This\_Just\_In\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/This_Just_In_2)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/58 "2012-06-26T21:04:48Z")
Count me as having been very naive. I was surprised someone took the time to dream up this big story for no obvious monetary payoff. But I have learned that some people have a twisted drive for just pure validation, even false validation from an anonymous message board. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/59 "2012-06-26T21:14:47Z")
The money thing is what tipped me off. Sure, there are lots of well off people in this county, but not THAT wealthy. Four full time carers? A house on the grounds?And now she can afford to maintain all that out of her salary as a recruiter? That’s not real wealthy, that’s daydream wealthy. That’s someone who doesn’t want to think about the money stuff because it ruins the story. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/60 "2012-06-26T21:20:08Z")
I wasn’t sure but I didn’t put much thought into it either way. I did read the whole thread but that’s because I was amused by/trying to make sense of the bizarre adulation for her. Well, and at first because I thought the info about quadriplegics was interesting. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375.md?page=4)