# POLL: Honestly, did you believe Umkay's story before she was outed? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 26, 2012, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375 "2012-06-26T18:46:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/101 "2012-06-27T02:14:42Z")
I bought it, but why not? It was a good read, fiction or fact. Indeed the totality of the meltdown was even more fun. And that’s just it - here’s a bunch of internet strangers writing far too much on a message board. I hate to admit it but I _like_ how this all played out. No puppies were harmed in the making of this epic. It was entertaining. Do I support liars and trolls? No, but when this was all said & done the twists and turns were fun to read, the moment someone actually figured it out and started to drop clues was a riot to read, and in the end I got several hours of amusement out of the whole thing, free of charge. Am I a shmuck for believing it? Sure. But in real life I believed my 2 ex-wives. The first set me $35k. The second one has put me back $10k and counting and I lost my house. So keep the internet lies coming. I can afford these! ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/102 "2012-06-27T02:16:38Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > There was a thread maybe 5 years ago about a Male to Female trans-sexual that was an elementary school teacher, who went back to teach at the same elementary school. IIRC, it started out pretty captivating,… especially if you weren’t really paying attention. Then you kinda get drawn into the drama. “What a cool story, and it’s a Doper, wow, I’m vicariously part of this coolness going on.” That thread couldn’t sustain itself for very long. Posting during class breaks or something. That thread occurred to me as well when reading Umkay’s original thread. That’s when I first suspected bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/103 "2012-06-27T02:31:52Z")
I had my doubts from the beginning and didn’t post in either her Ask The or Resurrection thread. The one thing that made me doubt my doubts was that people with actual disabilities seemed to believe her, but I really couldn’t get there. I felt it was better to keep quiet than possible make a fool o myself. StG ---
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/104 "2012-06-27T02:37:38Z")
> [@StGermain](#): > > I had my doubts from the beginning and didn’t post in either her Ask The or Resurrection thread. About like this. I selected the Unsure option in the poll. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/105 "2012-06-27T02:40:21Z")
No. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/106 "2012-06-27T03:02:13Z")
Bought it pretty nearly to the end. When people started questioning her identity I PMd her with one of the spy movie ideas about how she could safely prove her identity (and amusingly not one of the more reasonable ideas either). I wondered if she’d reply (she didn’t) and thought this was a weak test of whether she was for real. So, only mild questioning in my mind well after others were leading the charge. The ATMB notice of her banning was still pretty surprising. And, though I did feel hurt about her “death”, overall I leave this more fascinated than anything else. I would buy in all over again. ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/107 "2012-06-27T03:40:13Z")
I believed her, pretty much all the way until the resurrection. Nothing seemed that farfetched to me. I know of - not necessarily know, but know of - very wealthy people who have family members with disabilities. I thought one of those people came to the Dope. Also, she mentioned she had lurked for a long time, so I thought she knew the lingo… didn’t surprise me either. I guess I didn’t see her as overly perky. I mean, she talked about waking up every day and thinking for the first instant that she was AB… that seems pretty, you know, real. But it also seemed that she accepted what had happened (after spending some time depressed and not wanting to go back to HS, for instance) - being forced by her parents and having rough-and-tumble brothers who also employed her. Now the fawning, that happens here. I thought it was a little OTT but beyond the control of the poster. I think my first clue was the death. Seemed too sudden for someone who didn’t seem to have any life-threatening issues (although they could spring up at any time). Knowing how other Doper spouses/sibs/family members have informed the board of their loved one’s death, it just didn’t seem to be real. The precision of her posts, as pointed out by **Giraffe** , I think, was a clue, especially when it was noted that the posts went up in very short intervals. Even with carers, Dragon, etc. that seemed a bit unrealistic. ---
**Author:** ![Jake\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Jake\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake_Jones)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/108 "2012-06-27T04:15:49Z")
Count me amongst the fish. I swallowed the whole story, until the fake death. That was a bit over the top. Killing off fake personas is kind of [par for the course](http://www.theregister.co.uk/2001/05/18/murderer_confesses_on_anandtech_forum/) with the type that gets off on these games. Wally is another example. The behavior is just so weird, I don’t get it. It’s so foreign to me that I just haven’t developed a bullshit meter to these kind of people. ---
**Author:** ![tesseract](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@tesseract](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tesseract)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/109 "2012-06-27T04:21:22Z")
I totally bought it and I found the Ask the… thread and the devotee thread pretty fascinating. I had never heard of the concept of devotees before — wow! It’s interesting to discover amazingly weird subcultures that are teeming with life. Anyway, I found the way she wrote engaging-- amusing turns of phrase, etc. – as well as substantively interesting. When she died I genuinely felt sad. Now, in hindsight, and in retrospect, I was gullible, and that was obviously a blinking neon sign of fakeness. Also in retrospect, she was way too perfect and I was gullible for not suspecting her in the least. I also found the mania when she resurrected, and then when her fake alterego from the other boards surfaced, absolutely entertaining. I was fascinated that someone would put so much energy and time into a fake persona (and sad for him/her), but rather bewildered by people who felt “betrayed.” Also bewildered/entertained/amazed by the minor civil war amongst the always-suspicious, the newly-suspicious, the never-suspicious, the doubtful, the staunch believers, the right-but-could-have-been-wrong, the wrong-but-could-have-been-right, and various other factions. That was entertainment in itself. I’m now a little letdown to tell you the truth. As others have said, I think he/she did a very good deed in connection with helping the other poster advocate for her newly-quadriplegic father. That in itself redeems her and makes everything worthwhile, I’d say. ---
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/110 "2012-06-27T04:40:41Z")
I was unsure until the evidence started piling up. I read the first few pages of the ‘Ask the…’ thread and something seemed off, because everything seemed so carefully crafted. I ignored my doubts because there probably are people out there living lives straight out of made for TV movies. Once she ‘died’ it was game over. ---
**Author:** ![grayhairedmomma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/47e85d/32.png) [@grayhairedmomma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grayhairedmomma)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/111 "2012-06-27T05:19:34Z")
I mostly believed her, but thought it odd that she was able to post replies so quickly. Also, having multiple one-night stands in that condition was a little eye-brow raising. I got a little annoyed with the “Ask the…” thread after people praised her for sticking up for herself, and stopped reading them shortly after that. I didn’t know about the supposed illness or fake death notice until well after the pit thread was started. ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/112 "2012-06-27T05:53:39Z")
I voted “unsure”. I was reading along, not participating in the other threads, because everything did just seem a little bit outlandish. Especially the amount of formatting in the posts - I mean, compare **blinkie** ’s posts, the differences are clear. I wanted proof, and idly considered asking the mods to verify **umkay** , but I decided to just wait until someone found inconsistencies in her story a la **Kaitlyn**. Looks like **umkay** was a little more clever than some of her predecessors, so it was a bit harder than just combing over her posts here. ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/113 "2012-06-27T06:07:28Z")
I voted ‘Other’. I have no idea who Umkay is/was. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/114 "2012-06-27T07:01:27Z")
I thought she was full of shit from the ‘nails-on-chalkboard’ beginning. Now I _did_ think she was a quadriplegic, given her voluminous knowledge about the smallest details of the injury; but I just thought she was making up all the ‘fabulous’ stories as a sort of trollery. She was a quadriplegic troll, I guess was my first impression. It wasn’t until later on that I saw her (or him) for what he/she truly was. I have gone back and forth as to what I actually think **Umkay** was; a devotee or a pretender, and I now say that **Umkay** was indeed a devotee (a male) who had pretender tendencies and pretended to be a disabled woman online (which is actually not uncommon). The DPW spectrum is fluid and their is much overlap between the disorders; devotees can also be pretenders and pretenders are always wannabees. It’s confusing, I know. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/115 "2012-06-27T07:08:32Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I thought she was full of shit from the ‘nails-on-chalkboard’ beginning. Now I _did_ think she was a quadriplegic, given her voluminous knowledge about the smallest details of the injury; but I just thought she was making up all the ‘fabulous’ stories as a sort of trollery. She was a quadriplegic troll, I guess was my first impression. It wasn’t until later on that I saw her (or him) for what he/she truly was. > > I have gone back and forth as to what I actually think **Umkay** was; a devotee or a pretender, and I now say that **Umkay** was indeed a devotee (a male) who had pretender tendencies and pretended to be a disabled woman online (which is actually not uncommon). The DPW spectrum is fluid and their is much overlap between the disorders; devotees can also be pretenders and pretenders are always wannabees. It’s confusing, I know. Here’s a [link](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disability_pretender) that helps explain things. ---
**Author:** ![VanillaGorilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f9ae1b/32.png) [@VanillaGorilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VanillaGorilla)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/116 "2012-06-27T08:56:12Z")
I totally believed it, up to, and including, the resurrection - though I didn’t see the **Umkay** is dead post until after the resurrection thread, so don’t know if I would have bought that particular lie. ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/117 "2012-06-27T11:19:44Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Now I _did_ think she was a quadriplegic, given her voluminous knowledge about the smallest details of the injury; but I just thought she was making up all the ‘fabulous’ stories as a sort of trollery. She was a quadriplegic troll, I guess was my first impression. It wasn’t until later on that I saw her (or him) for what he/she truly was. This, more or less. My BS meter was pinged, though I couldn’t be arsed to figure out why, exactly. That happens a lot here, actually. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/118 "2012-06-27T11:25:19Z")
I voted Other - I never read the original thread. I don’t generally bother with “Ask The …” threads anyway. But the “death” announcement and subsequent “I’m not dead yet” thread seemed a bit off to me - I can’t say why exactly, but something about both OPs felt wrong. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/119 "2012-06-27T12:33:18Z")
I voted other as well, since I hadn’t read any of the treads until (s)he posted about not being dead. When I saw that a few posters I know, including **China Guy** were supporting her, then I didn’t suspect anything. I have no idea if I would have gotten it or not. Does anyone remember that former self-proclaimed Green Beret guy? I was pretty suspicious of him right away, but that’s probably because I’ve known people IRL who claim to be former snipers, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/120 "2012-06-27T13:28:15Z")
As the last remaining participant of the SDMB who has not weighed in on umkay, I will take the opportunity to do so now. I did not participate in her threads because wheelchairs do not interest me and I assumed the devotee thread was about a religious fanatic, never putting together that the OP was the same for both. By the time I became aware of umkay and notokay the whole thing was starting to boil over and, although I have remained silent thus far, the entire episode has provided glorious entertainment. So, I voted “other.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375.md?page=7)