# POLL: Honestly, did you believe Umkay's story before she was outed? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 26, 2012, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375 "2012-06-26T18:46:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2012, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/161 "2012-06-28T21:50:45Z")
**Dogzilla,** I have to disagree with you about Million Dollar Baby. You got from it that some quad’s lives aren’t worth living, but I don’t think that is what most people got from it. I think the message was strongly that life, any life, as a quad isn’t worth living. I used it hear it all the time when I told people what I did–“oh, I wouldn’t want to live if I was paralyzed.” I think the more subtle message you got sailed over most people’s heads. ---
**Author:** ![Feyrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/fbc32d/32.png) [@Feyrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feyrat)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2012, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/162 "2012-06-28T22:06:32Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > **Dogzilla,** I have to disagree with you about Million Dollar Baby. You got from it that some quad’s lives aren’t worth living, but I don’t think that is what most people got from it. I think the message was strongly that life, any life, as a quad isn’t worth living. I used it hear it all the time when I told people what I did–“oh, I wouldn’t want to live if I was paralyzed.” I think the more subtle message you got sailed over most people’s heads. Re-read **Dogzilla’s** post. **Umkay** was the one who hated the movie because it made it seem like a quad’s life isn’t worth living. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2012, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/163 "2012-06-28T23:01:23Z")
Something felt off about it when I became aware of it late in the thread. Then with the **notokay** death post, that pretty much clinched my suspicions. In fact, the night prior to the sleuthing, the idea occured to me to google some of her more idiosyncratic words or phrases to see if they popped up anywhere else. The next day I saw they nailed her, probably using similar techniques. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2012, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/164 "2012-06-28T23:15:08Z")
> [@Feyrat](#): > > Re-read **Dogzilla’s** post. **Umkay** was the one who hated the movie because it made it seem like a quad’s life isn’t worth living. Re-read\*\* Brynda\*\*'s post. Especially note the qualifiers “some” and “any”, since that is where the important distinction is coming from. ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/165 "2012-06-29T01:01:25Z")
Other - didn’t read it. One of these days, when I have a couple of weeks’ annual leave, I might find that thread and work my way through it. I probably would’ve believed her yarn - I tend to take posters at face value. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/166 "2012-06-29T05:08:13Z")
Meh. I wasn’t even aware that Umkay existed until someone made vague reference to the spectacular blow-up in another thread. I said, “Huh?” and someone linked to the _Umkay is dead_ thread and the _Umkay is highly offended at being declared dead_ thread. Of course by that point I’d been told that she’d been sock puppeting, but I did think that being highly offended that some dude on the interwebs declared her dead was a bit… histrionic. I haven’t seen any of her other threads so I couldn’t say whether I might have been taken in. Likely I wouldn’t have spared her that much thought, though. (Alternately, maybe I did skim a thread, didn’t spare it much thought, and have forgotten about it. Also a possibility, I suppose.) So I suppose that’s “Other.” ---
**Author:** ![Dorjan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorjan/32/12440_2.png) [@Dorjan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorjan)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/167 "2012-06-29T13:46:54Z")
Oddly enough, what piqued my suspicion was how she went on an on about how she could have awesome orgasms without feeling absolutely anything down there. Now I know, orgasms are as much about the mind as about the body, but something about it made me go :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![gunnergoz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e95f7d/32.png) [@gunnergoz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gunnergoz)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/168 "2012-06-29T14:32:26Z")
This is only the second internet false persona I’ve personally run into (the first was a man who I verified was not who he claimed he was, by means of a background check) and the common thread between them was the apparent thrill of getting people emotionally “hooked” and then the need to cut off contact (by terminal illness and looming death) once it became either too uncomfortable or the faker had attained what gratification they sought to begin with. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/169 "2012-06-29T15:00:09Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > **Dogzilla,** I have to disagree with you about Million Dollar Baby. You got from it that some quad’s lives aren’t worth living, but I don’t think that is what most people got from it. I think the message was strongly that life, any life, as a quad isn’t worth living. I used it hear it all the time when I told people what I did–“oh, I wouldn’t want to live if I was paralyzed.” I think the more subtle message you got sailed over most people’s heads. No, actually, the message I got from that movie was that _one boxer woman’s life_ wasn’t worth living as a quad. Most other quads, I’m guessing, have at least some loving family and some support and _something_ to live for. Her life was pretty sad before the boxing – all becoming a quad meant was the one thing that gave her life any meaning was not really possible now. She’d have been stuck in some Medicaid nursing home and died of bedsores in a very short amount of time because there was no family or friends who would take loving care of her or help her find the resources to do it. I did not generalize that to all quads at all. I hated that movie because she was all “never give up” while she was becoming a boxer, but the minute she became a quad, she gave right up. Seemed out of character. However. Having read the umkay thread and getting a more clear idea of how difficult everyday life becomes when someone else has to do so much for you, I started seeing that movie in a different light. The boxer chick’s life was pretty much a sad, depressing struggle before the whole boxing to quad fiasco. That said, she could have learned how to live in a chair and become a boxing coach or something. But she just gave up. Bleh. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/170 "2012-06-29T16:47:59Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > No, actually, the message I got from that movie was that _one boxer woman’s life_ wasn’t worth living as a quad. Most other quads, I’m guessing, have at least some loving family and some support and _something_ to live for. Her life was pretty sad before the boxing – all becoming a quad meant was the one thing that gave her life any meaning was not really possible now. She’d have been stuck in some Medicaid nursing home and died of bedsores in a very short amount of time because there was no family or friends who would take loving care of her or help her find the resources to do it. I did not generalize that to all quads at all. I hated that movie because she was all “never give up” while she was becoming a boxer, but the minute she became a quad, she gave right up. Seemed out of character. However. Having read the umkay thread and getting a more clear idea of how difficult everyday life becomes when someone else has to do so much for you, I started seeing that movie in a different light. The boxer chick’s life was pretty much a sad, depressing struggle before the whole boxing to quad fiasco. That said, she could have learned how to live in a chair and become a boxing coach or something. But she just gave up. Bleh. I know that’s the message you got, and said as much. The next half of the sentence, though was “ **but** I don’t think that is what **most** people got from it.” I then said that most people did generalize, **unlike you** , who understood that this was about only some quads, not all quads. That’s why I didn’t like the movie (and the not-quad who shall not be named seemed to agree): I think most people (NOT Dogzilla, though) took from it that the life of a quad was not worth living, no matter what. Not just an athletic, boxing quad, any quad. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/171 "2012-06-29T17:53:27Z")
OK, **Brynda** I see we’re actually agreeing here, just maybe using different words. Thanks for your clarification. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2012, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/172 "2012-06-30T02:43:19Z")
> [@MrDurden](#): > > Fuck That! > It had a lot of signs BEFORE the death post and ANYONE who believed after is freaking sucker of the highest order. I want to sit down at a poker table with everyone in that death thread. I mean it was sooo obvious. Just a quick tip here from one of the suckers: I actually use more cynical standards when I’m spreading cash around on a competitive table. However if you would accept a little fawning in liu of money, have your people contact my people. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2012, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/173 "2012-06-30T02:45:52Z")
Was there ever any official determination that umkay and NotOk were the SAME troll? ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2012, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/174 "2012-06-30T05:45:11Z")
I voted “other” because I believed her, but since I didn’t read the whole “Ask the” thread and I only read a few posts in her devotee thread, I never followed the whole thing to its conclusion, and didn’t know until this thread that she was lying. I felt terrible for her regarding her injury and how she was injured. But it did sort of remind me of the story “The Other Side of the Mountain”. I wonder if that’s where she got the idea? ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2012, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/175 "2012-06-30T10:44:29Z")
I wasn’t invested in it enough–I read through the first couple of pages of the “Ask the” thread, and didn’t delve that deep into “Should I” thread. In the soap operas, for extra drama it was a pregnancy or a death, so I guess she went with the death. The other option would have been an alien abduction. Now, that would have been cool. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2012, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/176 "2012-06-30T10:53:33Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > I wasn’t a fan of the “fawning” though. This “Oh Umkay you’re just so awesome!” _vomit_ But really, I was kind of shocked that a paralyzed person would do all of: 1: participating in a multi-page thread, getting all the cut-and-paste and quoting exactly right. Difficult with voice-recognition software, and an unrealistically huge expense if someone’s taking dictation for you. 2: answering such painfully intimate questions about one’s personal life for the curiosity of gawkers, sometimes answering the same thing over and over 3: having such an apparently bubbly disposition and active social life with (apparently) boyfriends parading in and out of it constantly. Yes it’s possible to be happy and have a life, but she just seemed a little over the top. None of these things in isolation seemed entirely impossible, but taken as a whole… ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2012, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/177 "2012-06-30T22:19:14Z")
I read the first page or two of her thread (can’t remember how much) and it pinged my BS meter so I stopped reading. When I saw the death announcement I was more certain but not completely certain. I think if I’d read more of her threads with the long well formatted posts made in the space of minutes I would’ve been even more sure. Edit: I don’t feel like a super sleuth, it just sounded like an unlikely story. ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/178 "2012-07-01T02:22:17Z")
Ca ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/179 "2012-07-01T02:33:33Z")
Sorry about that. Can I just say something? As much as I liked umkay as a poster I detested her name. I got this image of that South Park teacher and felt nauseous. I couldn’t fawn over someone with such a dumb name. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curiosity_Kills_Her)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375/180 "2012-07-01T06:01:59Z")
Other. I read the thread request for dating advice for the first couple of days and found it interesting, same with the “Ask me…” thread. I stopped reading both well before they ended because they were overwhelmingly long and, well, I didn’t wish to spend _all_ of my time here reading about _her._ This place has an extremely high ratio of people I find hilarious and fascinating so I petered out on her after a couple-few days. When the death thread was posted it took me a while to realize it was _her_. I thought it was a shame but wasn’t emotionally invested. The “evidence” from the other board I’m still not sure about - the conversational tone of the other poster seemed completely different to me. Regardless, as mentioned above I’m not emotionally invested either way. Mostly I have difficulty wrapping my mind around the desire/ability/motivation to create a fiction to live out online or in real life. It blows my mind and just thinking about the sheer amount of energy that must be required to even do a half-assed job of it makes me exhausted. I don’t have enough energy to devote to showing you all how awesome the _real_ me is in just a few weeks… constructing a pretend me, and posting prolifically while staying on script is completely out of the question. I have a very hard time grokking why anyone would devote themselves to such an endeavor. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-honestly-did-you-believe-umkays-story-before-she-was-outed/626375.md?page=10)