# Poll: On which side are your saltines buttered? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 31, 2015, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-on-which-side-are-your-saltines-buttered/711410 "2015-01-31T06:20:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2015, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-on-which-side-are-your-saltines-buttered/711410/81 "2015-03-11T22:02:40Z")
Nah, the oven uses too much gas. Can you do it in a toaster oven instead? ---
**Author:** ![typoink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@typoink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typoink)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2015, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-on-which-side-are-your-saltines-buttered/711410/82 "2015-03-11T23:14:13Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > Nah, the oven uses too much gas. Can you do it in a toaster oven instead? At your own peril. But probably. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2015, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-on-which-side-are-your-saltines-buttered/711410/83 "2015-03-12T00:37:35Z")
- Premium…snowflake…reclosable pack…\* ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2015, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-on-which-side-are-your-saltines-buttered/711410/84 "2015-03-12T00:58:43Z")
Who would butter the bottom of something? Well . . . except . . . ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2015, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-on-which-side-are-your-saltines-buttered/711410/85 "2015-03-12T05:26:32Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Who would butter the bottom of something? > > Well . . . except . . . Upside-down people? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2015, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-on-which-side-are-your-saltines-buttered/711410/86 "2015-03-12T13:24:11Z")
Definitely butter the salted side. More on that in a moment. To all those stating that they didn’t know there is a salted side and an unsalted side - HUH??? They let you drive? And vote? How can you go through life with such lack of awareness? You do notice that your shirt has a front and a back, yah? And your pants too? I weep for humanity! :eek: :eek: Now, onto the proper saltine buttering and eating etiquette - a thin layer of refrigerated butter spread on the salted side, then place the saltine unsalted side down on the tongue. This is to experience the full complexity of textures and flavors. Starting with the salt side down is too harsh - might as well just pull out the salt shaker and salt your tongue! By starting with the unsalted side down, you immediately get the dry feel, which last only a short time. Next your natural saliva begins to flow and moisten (umm, moisten - one of my favorite words…) the saltine, producing the beginning of sogginess. At the same time, your body heat has begun melting the butter, which is mixing with the salt and flowing down onto your tongue with the classic unctuous feel + salty taste that humans crave. Now you start to chew…nirvana. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2015, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-on-which-side-are-your-saltines-buttered/711410/87 "2015-03-12T14:18:27Z")
> [@Icarus](#): > > To all those stating that they didn’t know there is a salted side and an unsalted side - HUH??? They let you drive? And vote? How can you go through life with such lack of awareness? You do notice that your shirt has a front and a back, yah? And your pants too? I weep for humanity! :eek: :eek: Well, I do put on tee shirts backward with alarming frequency (just ask my wife), so you might have something there. But I don’t use saltines often, and when I do, they usually end up crushed in the soup or as a coating for fried fish or pork chops or whatnot. I just assumed they were like normal crackers and chips, and salted on both sides. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2015, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-on-which-side-are-your-saltines-buttered/711410/88 "2015-03-12T16:02:20Z")
[There is not one single thing wrong with buttered saltines.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=670223&highlight=buttered+saltines) That is all. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2015, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-on-which-side-are-your-saltines-buttered/711410/89 "2015-03-13T04:37:02Z")
A typo in a newspaper mentioned a man who was considered selfish; he was said to have “buttered his own beard.” ---
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2015, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-on-which-side-are-your-saltines-buttered/711410/90 "2015-03-13T06:48:44Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Well, I do put on tee shirts backward with alarming frequency (just ask my wife), so you might have something there. But I don’t use saltines often, and when I do, they usually end up crushed in the soup or as a coating for fried fish or pork chops or whatnot. I just assumed they were like normal crackers and chips, and salted on both sides. I coincidentally only learned this about a day or two before seeing this thread. And then only because there was a big display at the supermarket of “unsalted tops” saltines, which just seemed confusing in multiple ways…but I divined from this that normal saltines were only salted on top. ---
**Author:** ![BrassyPhrase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea666f/32.png) [@BrassyPhrase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrassyPhrase)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2015, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-on-which-side-are-your-saltines-buttered/711410/91 "2015-03-13T08:19:53Z")
I voted for the salted side. I’m also a person who had never even heard of or imagined putting butter on a saltine. (To be honest, I’m pretty sure I’m going to try it though.) Why WOULD I butter a saltine, when I’ve already discovered the BEST guilty saltine related snack in. the. world? Hmm?? What is it, you ask? One takes a saltine, one puts a smidge of mayo upon it, then one places a single hamburger dill chip on top. Pop! into one’s mouth it goes and yummy! It’s a great snack b/c I almost always have all three lurking around. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2015, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-on-which-side-are-your-saltines-buttered/711410/92 "2015-03-13T13:35:35Z")
> [@Canadjun](#): > > Butter on saltines?! 😕 You americans are weird. > > 😃 Hey I am American and I don’t butter my saltines. I don’t put them in casseroles either. If I do eat saltines, it’s either crumbled up in soup, or with a tiny bit of cheese and sausage on them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-on-which-side-are-your-saltines-buttered/711410.md?page=4)