# Poll: The most pretentious song ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 20, 2004, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223 "2004-05-20T18:38:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/1 "2004-05-20T18:38:12Z")
The thing about today’s pop music is that it doesn’t think it’s anything but pop music. Not like the olden days when Jim Morrison fancied himself a poet and Marvin Gaye stopped singing about screwing and started singing about protesting. Here are a few nominations for the most pretentious song ever. **Dust in the Wind** by Kansas-- The most pretentious song about how worthless we all are. **Signs** by The 5 Man Electric Band-- The most pretentious song about sticking it to the man. **Whiter Shade of Pale** by Procol Harum-- The most pretentious song about, um. . . vestial virgins? ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/2 "2004-05-20T18:43:00Z")
A three-way tie between “The Rose” sung by Bette Midler, “Don’t Cry Out Loud” sung by Melissa Manchester and “My Way” sung by Sinatra, Elvis and numerous men’s choruses. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/3 "2004-05-20T18:47:11Z")
Donovan - “Atlantis” ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/4 "2004-05-20T18:50:03Z")
Everything Freddy Mercury wrote was pretentious; pretentiousness was a conscious and vital ingredient to “Killer Queen” and pretty much everything that came after it. “Barcelona” was the glorious peak of pretentiousness. Sting and Carly Simon have less control over their pretentiousness. They drop cultural touchstones to show the depth of their sophistication, and wind up looking pretty shallow as a result. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/5 "2004-05-20T19:07:22Z")
My vote for “Knights in white satin” by the Moody Blues, not so much for the song, as for the awful trite poem read at the end of the song. An extract of which is … > [@](#): > > Lonely man cries for love and has none > New mother picks up and suckles her sun > Senior citizens wish they were young > Cold-hearted orb that rules the night ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/6 "2004-05-20T19:13:03Z")
> [@Krokodil](#): > > Everything Freddy Mercury wrote was pretentious; pretentiousness was a conscious and vital ingredient to “Killer Queen” and pretty much everything that came after it. I would respectfully disagree with you on that. The height of Queen’s pretentiousness came early on, with the gloriously over-the-top _Queen II._ “Killer Queen,” of course, didn’t appear until the next album and seemed almost mundane by comparison. (It’s hard to beat songs about fairies and ogre battles for sheer indulgence.) One of Freddie’s most direct and beautiful songs was “Jealousy,” from the album _Jazz._ Rock guys rarely display such a level of humility and self-awareness as he does on this song. Not a trace of pomp in it. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/7 "2004-05-20T19:20:17Z")
C’mon, is there really any question about this one? **MacArthur Park** by Richard Harris :eek: Pretentious, pompous, and predictable pap ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/8 "2004-05-20T19:32:24Z")
The song Everybody Hurts by REM. Actually, the majority of songs preformed by REM. If Michael Stipe were a monkey in a zoo, he flings pretentiousness at us all like a paw full of poo. ---
**Author:** ![syncrolecyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f08c70/32.png) [@syncrolecyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/syncrolecyne)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/9 "2004-05-20T19:35:28Z")
“I’ m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred is an obvious choice, but probably a little to campy to be all that pretentious. I deeply admire George Harrison, and I love much of his solo work (even underappreciated and little known material). But he could be on the pretentious side on songs like “Think for Yourself”, “I Me Mine”, and “If I Needed Someone” (which actually seems to say "I Am not interested in you, but if I just had to have someone around, you wouldn’t be all that bad - how romantic!). Also “Mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm” by Crashtest Dummies, sounds smug and full of itself. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/10 "2004-05-20T19:42:11Z")
“MacArthur Park” is simply an unbearable cacophonous wreck. That anyone has been able to listen to enough of it to conclude it’s pretentious speaks more to that person’s delusional state than anything else, IMO. How about “You’re so Vain” by, who is it, Carly Simon? ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/11 "2004-05-20T19:44:39Z")
come on, what on earth is more pretentious than Richard Harris and MacArthur Park — NOTHING, if defines pretentious for generations to come. ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/12 "2004-05-20T19:54:00Z")
Think we have different shades of the word “pretentious” running around loose here. There’s showy, over-the-top pretentious (Queen) and there’s intellectually pretentious (George Harrison, et al.) The bigger question is, which are WE? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![lachesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@lachesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lachesis)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/13 "2004-05-20T19:56:42Z")
i can’t believe i’m the first to post the Most Pretentious Song By the Most Pretentious Would-Be Diva (complete with strategically timed ultra-phony chest-thumping action)! ladies and gentlemen: My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion more intimately known as “Your Heart Should Stop”, in my mind at least. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/14 "2004-05-20T19:56:48Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Here are a few nominations for the most pretentious song ever. > > **Dust in the Wind** by Kansas-- The most pretentious song about how worthless we all are. That’s the first song that came to mind when I saw the thread title! Also, **Don’t Fear the Reaper** (or did any member of Blue Oyster Cult actually take his own advice?) But **Imagine** gets my vote for the all time most relentlessly pretentious song. ---
**Author:** ![Notorious\_Nik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/858c86/32.png) [@Notorious\_Nik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Notorious_Nik)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/15 "2004-05-20T20:17:12Z")
How about anything by Creed? Scott Stapp has got to be one of the most pretentious people in the world. I’d continue to bash the man, but that belongs in the pit. I will say that “Higher”, “One” and that other one where he’s talking about being six feet from the edge are about as pretentious as it gets. ---
**Author:** ![light\_strand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a6a055/32.png) [@light\_strand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/light_strand)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/16 "2004-05-20T20:22:37Z")
I nominate: Bette Midler - “From A Distance” ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/17 "2004-05-20T20:30:01Z")
> [@Ryan Mahoney](#): > > The song Everybody Hurts by REM. Actually, this is probably the least pretentious soung REM has ever done, because its message is clear, concise, and emotionally direct, without being couched in opaque symbolism and dense phrase-ology (and I like REM a lot). You may not like it, but pretentious is the wrong word. I also like the Police and Sting, but they could really deliver some doozies: “Oh God”, “If You Love Somebody Set Them Free”, and “Invisible Sun” for starters. Also, thanks to the OP for reminding me of the song I probably hate most in the world: “Signs”. “Eve of Destruction” is pretty bad, too. ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/18 "2004-05-20T20:31:14Z")
Like **Moody Bastard** , I think some of our fellow Dopers’ definitions of _pretentious_ are a little off the mark. “My Heart Will Go On” isn’t pretentious—it’s just a run of the mill, over the top love ballad, and would likely have been forgotten had it not been yolked to the most successful movie ever. Likewise, Harrison’s mid-period disaffected Beatles songs — “If I Needed Someone,” “Think for Yourself” et al — aren’t pretentious so much as they are mordant and dour; they don’t really aspire to any great profundity or meaning, they’re just how a guy like George tries and doesn’t quite succeed at writing like John and Paul. I think you could make a better case for his later religious material—I don’t think I’d agree, but the case might be made. As soon as I saw the thread title, I thought, “Whiter Shade of Pale.” And then I thought of the Doors. When you’re in high school, you’re supposed to think things like “The End” and “Horse Latitudes” are really deep and cool. And then you grow up. I would also nominate “Stairway to Heaven,” a lot of the earlier Simon and Garfunkel catalog (“The Dangling Conversation,” anyone?), “We Didn’t Start the Fire” (like shooting fish in a barrel, that one) and most of Side 3 of _The Wall_. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/19 "2004-05-20T20:41:21Z")
My nominations would include: Donovan - _Atlantis_: pre-song poetry The Animals - _San Francisco Nights_: pre-song poetry Rush - _The Trees_: supposedly a tribute to Ayn Rynd Styx - _Suite Madam Blue_: an excerpt > [@](#): > > \*Suite Madame Blue, gaze in your looking glass > You’re not a child anymore > Suite Madame Blue, the future is all but past > Dressed in your jewels, you made your own rules > You conquered the world and more > Heaven’s door > > America, America, America, America > America, America, America, America > America, America, America, America\* ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223/20 "2004-05-20T20:43:34Z")
> [@Nonsuch](#): > > As soon as I saw the thread title, I thought, “Whiter Shade of Pale.” And then I thought of the Doors. When you’re in high school, you’re supposed to think things like “The End” and “Horse Latitudes” are really deep and cool. And then you grow up. Hey. Stop pissing on my forehead. Buttmunch. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-the-most-pretentious-song-ever/246223.md?page=2)