Based on that, does he appear to have quoted “at cost?” That’s a weird thing to do for someone he does not know. Hell, it’s a weird thing to do anyway. Why work for free?
If you don’t know Pete or his work, and did not ask him to recommend someone, he is not a reference.
I hired a decorator on the recommendation of a good friend - the decorator was aware that I’d got his name from someone else and he as he was measuring up for the job I wanted, he showed me photos of jobs he’d done elsewhere and offered to arrange for me to visit the properties he’d worked in to see first-hand the quality of his work.
We had the same from the company that did the paving on the driveway too, they brought photos of completed works and offered to give us addresses so we could go and look for ourselves.
To my mind, any workman who’s not proud to show off what he’s done is maybe not as good at the job as he likes to think he is. Why on earth someone should be pissy about references is beyond me.
As an Architect I say you did the right thing. Anyone who does ANY work without getting three bids and references is asking for trouble. You are always best off asking to see prior work–I would say that is double if you ‘know’ the person. Bad idea in my opinion to do work with someone you ‘know’. Good luck though convincing this guy.
btw–I agree with the contractor above. He should be used to trotting out his references and in this market he needs the work. Big red flag when he won’t give them out.
I have two uncles who are contractors. We are having a deck put on our house. We went out and had it bid and are not using either of my uncles.
Years of experience have taught me that the “friend and family” discount with contractors is not worth it. You can’t criticize their work because they didn’t bid in any do overs. If they get a higher paying job yours sits around half done. They underbid, trying to be nice, they can’t even cover materials and you get in this uncomfortable “costs more than you told me” situation. (One of my uncles is good, if I had that uncle alone, I’d consider hiring him - the other uncle is the one guilty of all the above).
The moment he is “giving you a break because you are a friend of a friend” is the moment I wouldn’t use him regardless of the attitude. My feeling is that its a rare guy where you don’t end up paying for that discount one way or another.
I say “I didn’t want a favor. I wanted someone to do some quality work for me, and I would pay them.”
Favors, as mentioned already, are death to any job. You are always at the bottom of the list, and they’re always looking to cut corners so they don’t lose money. If you want a quality job, 99% of the time it won’t be through someone’s favor. You might get away with it if they are family or your close personal friend, and the job isn’t too big. Even then, while the job may come off nice, chances are it’ll take 3x as long as it should, because they’ll be doing it in their spare time.
If I had someone willing to do me a favor, my request would be “Charge me the normal amount, but treat me like your best customer.”
I don’t get from any posts in this thread that pkbites asked for anything other than an estimate. That Bob was on the short list might actually be perceived as a favor since it seems pkbites wouldn’t have even known about Bob except for their mutual acquaintance with Pete.
I agree with everyone who’s said that any contractor should be able to quickly and proudly share references.
Agreed 100%. Even if it WERE a favor, it’s not out of line to ask for references. Ask me about the landlord’s “friend” that resided the rental house I lived in. For over 6 months. 1 floor, about 1000 sq foot house. The work was horrific and unprofessional, he left shit everywhere in our carport so we couldn’t park and we actually went through 2 SEASONS of him out there every day cutting siding and doing whatever. What a nightmare, seriously. I’m sure he gave the landlord a “deal”, but at what actual cost?
You’re not in the wrong and that contractor is seriously unprofessional. Glad you found out now.
If your are going to shw this to them, perhaps this would not be the appropriate place to observe that you forgot to mention that Pete said your wife’s friend’s butt looks HUGE in those new jeans! 
Of course you were right. Any legitimate contractor should have at least a couple of canned references to hand out. Bob sounds like a dick, and there are way too many folks out there interested in your business to get financially and legally entangled with a dick.
Having spent the last year dealing with the fallout from a “favor” job on my back patio/porch area, let me assure you that you did the correct thing. “Favor” jobs blow rabid, syphilitic monkeys. I’m a little bitter though - since I didn’t ask for the work and wasn’t allowed to have any voice in choosing the contractor (why thank you, mother-in-law!), but did get all the fun and excitement (and inconvenience and most of the incidental expense) of cleaning up the damage.
Any contractor should be more than willing to trot out references. If the guy is getting all bent about being asked for some, then that just screams to me that he has something to hide. My brother’s best friend since birth is a contractor - and when he did some work on my brother’s place, he showed up to do the estimate with his album of completed job photos and a dozen references. And my brother had worked on some of those jobs!*
*My brother isn’t a contractor, but when his buddy was getting his new contracting business off the ground, my brother put in some hours working for him when he couldn’t get a crew (or his crew bailed on him). Semi-skilled help that’s totally dependable is better than no help or undependable skilled help sometimes. Finding a reliable crew is a big part of getting a new contracting business off the ground, apparently. At least if you’re primarily in the new house construction gig.
I agree with everyone here, you definitely did the right thing.
Even if he is legit and a great contractor, he should still be professional enough to understand that you wanted more references than just a friend (who is friends with both of you, which throws a wrench into the “this is strictly professional and non-biased” aspect) and him throwing such a hissy fit and something so seemingly normal is a ginormous red flag.
Did Bob actually do work for Pete or are they just friends?
Either way, you are correct to get ‘other’ references.
Not just “even if” he is legit. He should be professional because he is legit. My stepfather was a contractor for many years, and I assisted on a few jobs and got to see how he behaved with the client. References are not just not a big deal, they’re the antithesis of a big deal. Somebody asks for a few, you reach into your satchel or your briefcase and hand over a ready-made packet, while saying, “Let me know if this isn’t sufficient and I’ll provide more.”
Your instincts here are correct. You dodged a bullet by choosing not to work with the guy.
I highly doubt he was going to work ‘at cost’ for his friend’s girlfriend’s friends, that is too many degrees away from someone to give them a sizable price break solely out of friendship. Or better said, if he gave you this price break then he’d probably give the same discount to anyone one else who rings him up and says they know so-and-so, in which case it’s really not much of a discount off what you could negotiate on your own.
But, IANAC.
I’ll amend mine - “handyman” favors are cool - if I can go buy the parts at Home Depot and my uncles can do the work in an afternoon and will take payment in beer and a nice thank you note gift certificate for dinner - those I’ve never felt screwed on.
Its the “this will take three weeks” that turns into four months, cut corners, material bills higher than expected - those are bad.
Better an insulted stranger than a ruined house.
Two things:
- So he will do the work at cost, meaning for free, for a friend’s girlfriend’s friend’s husband, not on your home, but a rental property? I call bullshit there.
Hell, I would help my Dad work on his house for free, but if it is rental property, that is business, and it would be expected that we both make some money on that deal. Same thing in reverse if it was my rental property.
- Even if it was at cost, it’s not worth it to you if the guy is a fuck up. What good is a quote at cost if he tears up your property. Any contractor should happily provide references.
I hope that’s true. Contractors (not you!) can be a flaky lot. I suspect it comes in part from the fact that a person who runs his own business may be doing so because he doesn’t like answering to others.
I tell people that it’s not at all abnormal not to get a promised quote on a fairly sizable job, to have the crew stop showing up unexplainedly for several days, to have a specific appointment not just shown up late for, but blown off with no warning. When the housing market was booming, this was aggravated – there were always more and bigger jobs than your or my house. Maybe you’re right that a slower market will weed out the take-it-or-leave-it crowd.
References should be easy. A guy who’s proud of his work is going to want to spread the word. Heck, the ones who are thriving have glossy websites with copious photos and testimonials.
I usually wouldn’t reply because I don’t really know much about contracting - however; if this is just a regular old poll and you’re going going to be showing to Pete & GF (if I’m reading correctly), I just wanted to add a tick to the “You Were in the Right” column.
Frankly, if Pete & GF are all in a tizzy about it, I’d almost wonder if there was some sort of deal where Pete was getting a kick back, or Bob was going to recommend him for some other job or something.
And I certainly don’t think asking for references is rude. Prudent, I think.
You: “I need a few references of [your] work.”
Bob: “Pete is my reference.”
No, Pete provided a referral, presumably as a friend and/or colleague. That’s not the same as a reference, which comes from a client or customer.
Even if Pete were in a position to give a reference, his friendship with Bob and his relationship to you both step out of the professional realm and into the personal. This raises the issue of conflict of interest, which is best avoided whenever possible.