# Poll: With what do you defend your home? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 30, 2004, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300 "2004-08-30T20:49:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/41 "2004-08-31T13:32:46Z")
I have a good set of screaming lungs and a baseball bat by the bed. Obviously, dialing 911 would be the best defense, but the way my apartment’s configured, odds are good that if an assailant comes in through the front door in the middle of the night, he’ll be between me and any phone extension. But he just may trip over the black cat in the dark, fall down the stairs, and give me the opportunity to run for the phone and the kitchen knives. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/42 "2004-08-31T13:58:28Z")
> [@zephyrine](#): > > I’d set The Beast (who masquerades as a domestic cat, but who is in fact a rottweiller/panther cross, and who has been known to onflict significant damage even on people that he likes) on any unwelcome intruder. Failing that, but only as a last resort, I’d wake up the teenagers. Facing the wrath of a sleep-deprived 17 year old should be enough to scare even the most crazed lunatic off. Pfft. My son, even though he sleeps on the living room couch (can’t take the time after staying up late playing video games to actually stagger up to his bed to go to sleep) wouldn’t wake up if the intruder stepped on him. I’d have to hope they wouldn’t steal the couch with him on it. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/43 "2004-08-31T15:03:31Z")
I’ve found that hanging with a better class of people has eliminated 99% of the chance of being burgled. I don’t live in a shitty neighborhood and my current friends aren’t a bunch of parolees, so it’s a non-issue. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/44 "2004-08-31T15:06:47Z")
> [@](#): > > Second, if I heard someone breaking in, I’d call the police (who, incidentally, don’t carry guns) then exit via the back door. That would work except that would leave my wife and children in there with the intruder. ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/45 "2004-08-31T15:32:21Z")
**Drachillix** and his Glock 19 I’ve made an excellent choice in husbands ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/46 "2004-08-31T15:40:59Z")
> [@Mycroft Holmes](#): > > My wife. No seriously. She’s Brazilian, and you don’t want to mess with her when she’s angry. Also, if any harm comes to her, her extended family is coming after your ass, and there’s no place you will be able to hide. Oh yeah dude, you’re fine. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/47 "2004-08-31T15:46:24Z")
All I have is a lock on my door…and a pretty crappy lock, at that. I am on the second floor, however, so that really is the only point of entry. However, I do live in a very low-crime community, so I’m not really worried. If someone tried to break in, they would make a lot of noise, cause the door sticks and even if the thief picked it, as oppossed to just bashing it open, he’d have to put his weight into getting it to open, and I’m a light enough sleeper so that would wake me up. The door is in my kitchen, and my bedroom is off the kitchen, with no door. So I’d probably just get up, and run straight at the guy and tackle him to the ground. The element of suprise is your friend. I’d be punching his head and kneeing his groin before he knows what’s what. 😉 However, I pity the fool who tries to break into my parents house. First off, my dad’s dog, while not vicous in the least (unless one can be slobbered to death,) does give the illusion of protecting the house. The very instant someone sets foot on our property, regardless of whether the dog is awake or asleep, it will immediatly start barking like there is no tomorrow. Even if this does not scare off the burgler, it will wake up my dad. He owns several pistols, a couple rifles, and a shotgun. He would rgab one, I’m sure, but probably won’t use it, though, because my dad has the advantage of being both the town fire chief and first constable. He would just have to call 911, let them know who he is, and the police would be there faster than anyone deemed possible. Emergency service personell take care of their oen. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/48 "2004-08-31T15:58:48Z")
A pair of attack ferrets. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_Holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a5b964/32.png) [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/49 "2004-08-31T16:14:32Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > Oh yeah dude, you’re fine. 🆒 Aaaaah, I take it you speak from experience. So, are you protected by the _ **familia** _ or are you the hunted? If it’s the latter, you know they won’t stop looking for you until you’re dead. Even then they might keep looking for any offspring you might have. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Tiggrkitty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggrkitty/32/17966_2.png) [@Tiggrkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiggrkitty)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/50 "2004-08-31T16:21:13Z")
1. Cardsfan, my very protective hubby 2. Samera our 75 pound Golden Retriever (she will lick someone to death!) 3. 3 Cats (2 of which would hide and the other one would trip the intruder) 4. 12 gauge shotgun 5. 16 gauge shotgun 6. Walther PPKs 7. 3030 8. various baseball bats (metal and wooden) 9. a few bowling balls ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/51 "2004-08-31T16:22:06Z")
This question (and many of the answers) certainly illustrates one cultural difference between the US and England. I have a lock on my door. If I hear an intruder, I call the police. Neither the police nor I are armed. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/52 "2004-08-31T16:24:56Z")
I keep a .357 mag loaded and ready along with two speed loaders. There is an extra box of ammo around somewhere, but I am a pretty good shot so I hope it wouldn’t be needed. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/53 "2004-08-31T16:45:51Z")
I’d probably start off with a call to 911, then commence with the: bear repellant spray, 10 rounds from a .40 cal., 7 rounds from a 357 mag., 6 rounds from a .44 mag., as many rounds as 3 12 gauge shotguns can produce, 22-250 and 7 mag. rounds till they’re empty. Then I start flinging feces cause it’s all I got left. ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/54 "2004-08-31T18:22:12Z")
There’s generally an empty beer bottle within arm’s reach of any spot in my house. I also have a Puerto Rican wife who knows how to break and use them. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DougC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@DougC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DougC)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/55 "2004-08-31T18:48:30Z")
- - - I keep a loaded .17HMR revolver under my bed, and a flashlight on the nightstand. I normally have no kids around at all. And yea, should probably have something larger than that, but I’ve never gotten around to it. It’s the only revolver I own right now, I have other pistols and rifles (also rimfires) but even though they hold more shots, they jam. -I find shotguns to be too bulky for confined quarters for my taste. - Although I agree that noisy dogs are a very good intruder-alert option. For this purpose even small dogs are useful, as long as they’re not inbred totally retarded (something I have seen much more with small dog breeds than medium or larger…). ~ ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/56 "2004-08-31T20:00:39Z")
1. I live in a safe neighborhood. 2. We usually remember to lock the doors at night. 3. I am a Big Man, with a Big Wife and a Big Dog. 4. I have many kitchen knives, I have a 4-cell Maglight in my headboard, and I have many power tools. But mainly it’s the nice neighborhood. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/57 "2004-08-31T20:05:54Z")
First the Locked door. Then the Assualt Cat. Next the Remington 12 guage, pump action, “Boomstick”(Shop Smart! Shop S-mart!"). Shells in the magazine, but none in the chamber(which prevents an accidental discharge, but makes it easy enough to be ready in case I need it). ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/58 "2004-08-31T20:07:37Z")
Crap, that should have been First the Locked door. Then the Assualt Cat. 911, of course Next the Remington 12 guage, pump action, “Boomstick”(Shop Smart! Shop S-mart!"). Shells in the magazine, but none in the chamber(which prevents an accidental discharge, but makes it easy enough to be ready in case I need it). ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/59 "2004-08-31T20:28:08Z")
Damn Dopers is strapped! I’d probably go for the .45 Glock. My wife would be calling 911 for back-up. I don’t think Liebchen the miniature Dachshund would do much good for me. I think he is up to about 4 pounds now. ---
**Author:** ![BlackNGold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@BlackNGold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackNGold)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300/60 "2004-08-31T23:19:03Z")
Main Weapon: Sturm & Ruger .357 Blackhawk Other Options: Various pipes, bats, clubs Quick story: One evening I was sitting on the couch when something attracted my attention to the front door. Looking over, I saw the doorknob turning _very_ slowly. The deadbolt was locked, but there’s no way they knew that. It was nice to be able to grab the shootin iron and know I had something waiting on their ass. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-with-what-do-you-defend-your-home/262300.md?page=4)