# Poll: Your reaction to "If Black People Said the Stuff White People Say" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 21, 2014, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305 "2014-06-21T17:28:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/41 "2014-06-21T23:11:38Z")
> [@Omega\_Glory](#): > > It wasn’t racist or funny. I’ve never heard anyone say the majority of those things, so I got the intent of the video but didn’t connect to it the way I would have if the examples had been more familiar. > > I voted “not white, and neutral.” I didn’t vote, but this was pretty much my reaction. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/42 "2014-06-21T23:27:03Z")
I was at a bar, sitting next to me is an attractive black lady (I didn’t know her). As we’re sitting there, some stupid rube stumbles up to the bar and orders a drink. As he’s waiting for his drink he leans over and tells the woman: “Yer pretty for a black girl.” The lady gives him the stink eye, he then grabs his drink and walks away. It amazes me how clueless people can be. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/43 "2014-06-21T23:34:08Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > I was at a bar, sitting next to me is an attractive black lady (I didn’t know her). As we’re sitting there, some stupid rube stumbles up to the bar and orders a drink. As he’s waiting for his drink he leans over and tells the woman: “Yer pretty for a black girl.” > > The lady gives him the stink eye, he then grabs his drink and walks away. > > It amazes me how clueless people can be. Yeah, my friend shared [this](https://www.facebook.com/lovebeingblack/photos/a.206506106927.169127.18493706927/10151534153121928/?type=1&theater) today on FB. Look, if you ever say the words “you’re pretty/awesome/wonderful/smart for…” just stop. Is the next word going to ever be anything **except** implying the thing after “for” is a negative trait? Maybe the only time it works without offense is “you’re good for a beginner”, but that’s still a statement of “in spite of this trait”. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/44 "2014-06-21T23:47:13Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Angry at black people. I think I’ll go out and say something stupid to one of them - that’ll make up for it. > > Regards, > Shodan You don’t usually limit yourself that much. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/45 "2014-06-22T00:20:43Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > Yeah, my friend shared [this](https://www.facebook.com/lovebeingblack/photos/a.206506106927.169127.18493706927/10151534153121928/?type=1&theater) today on FB. > > Look, if you ever say the words “you’re pretty/awesome/wonderful/smart for…” just stop. Is the next word going to ever be anything **except** implying the thing after “for” is a negative trait? Maybe the only time it works without offense is “you’re good for a beginner”, but that’s still a statement of “in spite of this trait”. Pretty much like any sentence that starts like “I’m not racist/sexist/prejudiced/whatever-ist, but” and then is invariably followed by a racist/sexist/prejudiced/whatever-ist comment, sometimes with the added disclaimer “–I have a lot of XXX friends–”. Now that one I’ve heard more than I’d like to admit. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/46 "2014-06-22T00:34:31Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > These aren’t typically the kinds of remarks made 'round the water cooler at work. > [@monstro](#): > > . . . we’re in one of those “must make conversation or we’ll die from the awkwardness” type situations. Like if I’m going some place with a coworker and we’ve kind of run out of work-related things to talk about. You mean you’re going out for a drink voluntarily, or you’re at a conference or something and you have to be around the person whether you want to or not? (The video makes it seem like these are things people say openly around the workplace.) I guess you wouldn’t be around people like that unless you were forced to. I mean, it doesn’t happen with friends, right? And how often does it actually happen? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/47 "2014-06-22T00:56:04Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > I was at a bar, sitting next to me is an attractive black lady (I didn’t know her). As we’re sitting there, some stupid rube stumbles up to the bar and orders a drink. As he’s waiting for his drink he leans over and tells the woman: “Yer pretty for a black girl.” > > The lady gives him the stink eye, he then grabs his drink and walks away. > > It amazes me how clueless people can be. Aw, but the handbook said negging _always_ works. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/48 "2014-06-22T01:04:18Z")
Dave Cappelle? Does this just have his name on it, or was he actually involved in some way. That guy does racial humor right!! It was mildly humorous. Not nearly as funny as the Asian one, though. My reaction didn’t fit any of the poll options. I’m white, thought a few were funny and true, but others were kind of stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/49 "2014-06-22T01:11:47Z")
I didn’t vote because I’m white and I thought it dumb; which isn’t exactly the same is neutral (to me anyway). Saying stupid insensitive things isn’t only in the domain of white people talking to black people. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/50 "2014-06-22T01:35:56Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > I guess you wouldn’t be around people like that unless you were forced to. I mean, it doesn’t happen with friends, right? It’s happened to me with coworkers I consider “friends”, sure. They’ll bop into my office, notice that I’m listening to rock music, and then say something like, “Do you listen to _any_ rap? I’m blacker than you, girl!” Or I might utter an expression that’s common with black people, and they’ll suddenly start speaking faux-Ebonics. Or they may mention a certain basketball player that attends my alma mater and point out, apropos of nothing, how well he speaks, and then ask if this means he has parents like mine that value education and hard work\*. Sometimes the comments are so subtle and minor that I don’t notice them until long after the interaction, and when I do I don’t feel anything. And then some of them, like the last one, register a giant WTF!..but I STILL keep my mouth shut so that I won’t appear angry to the lame-ass white person trying to relate to me the best way they know how. > [@](#): > > And how often does it actually happen? I’m not going to bother hazarding a guess because I believe nothing I say will be taken seriously. I’ll either be accused of exaggerating the truth. Or I’ll be belittled for complaining about something that doesn’t happen every second of the day. Suffice it to say, it happens enough for the video to reasonate with me. It happens enough to other black people so a video like this makes sense to make. \*My boss was the one who asked me this. I was so dumbfounded that I didn’t know what to say. I felt awkward around him for a couple of days afterwards, but I don’t think he knew it. But I really like my boss, and I think my boss likes me. He may be clueless, but I don’t think he’s a racist. So no harm, no foul. But sure, hearing shit like that gets old after all. ---
**Author:** ![DingoelGringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@DingoelGringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DingoelGringo)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/51 "2014-06-22T01:45:30Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I’m white and I could certainly see some truth in that video. Exaggerated for satirical effect in my opinion but I have to acknowledge I might be missing a lot of white cluelessness. > > Here’s something I think black people miss about white people: we don’t think about race all that much. It’s not really an issue for us the way it is for black people. I think (and again I’m a white person thinking this) that black people are constantly being reminded of their race in ways that white people are not. From the time I was 17 and in arguments in high school back in 1963 I decided there is only one race, and when enrolling my kids in school I always marked other in the race category and wrote in human. Yes I’m white, 3 of 4 grandparents born inEurope etc… No I have never heard moat of these types of comments and doubt very much if most black folks have ever experienced more than one in a lifetime. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/52 "2014-06-22T01:48:33Z")
We white people have a lot of problems, too, you know. Sometimes we have to share our vacation homes with people we don’t really like all that much! And the mail. How would you black people like to get nothing but pre-approved credit cards and pottery barn catalogs? shamelessly stolen from SNL. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/53 "2014-06-22T02:02:13Z")
> [@DingoelGringo](#): > > …I decided there is only one race… > > \ > > No I have never heard moat of these types of comments and doubt very much if most black folks have ever experienced more than one in a lifetime. Given there’s only one race, who are these “black folks” of which you speak? Terrible shame about them being so untruthful, those imaginary black folk. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/54 "2014-06-22T02:23:06Z")
> [@DingoelGringo](#): > > From the time I was 17 and in arguments in high school back in 1963 I decided there is only one race, and when enrolling my kids in school I always marked other in the race category and wrote in human. Yes I’m white, 3 of 4 grandparents born inEurope etc… The racists of this country thank you for your support. They couldn’t survive without people like you who are willing to look the other way and pretend there’s no problem. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/55 "2014-06-22T03:13:34Z")
It was a very thought-provoking and funny video. I’m non-American European if that matters. People forget that even if everyone is equally racially insensitive. A group a quarter the size would get sixteen times the stupidity. 4Whites focused on 1 Blacks = 4annoyance 1 Blacks focusing on 4Whites = 0.25annoyance. 4/0.25= 16 times more. I’ve seen the Asian one, but I’ve already experienced similarly stupid comments from Asians so it isn’t that funny. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/56 "2014-06-22T03:31:03Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > Have heard OF the hair thing. Not really a race thing I think - some people will rub a bald guy’s head. And the rest of us are aghast at either behavior. I think it can be racist, but odds are just as good the person is just a clueless asshole. I’m white, and I’ve had more strangers decide to touch my hair without asking than I can count. Why? Red, long, wavy hair is unusual, and many people are poorly socialized. ---
**Author:** ![installLSC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/54ee81/32.png) [@installLSC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/installLSC)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/57 "2014-06-22T03:52:26Z")
My main reaction is “what is this from, 1930?” Maybe it’s because I live in the very racially mixed area of Western Washington, but this strikes me more as “lamer than mother in law jokes” than anything else. In an age when interracial friendships and relationships don’t bat an eye anymore, the notion of a strictly binary race field is ridiculously outdated. Why not “if poor whites said the stuff rich whites say” or “if northern blacks said the stuff southern blacks say”? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/58 "2014-06-22T04:06:02Z")
This is the south, so that type of nonsense happens on a regular basis more than people care to admit. I appreciated what it had to point out, but feel it’s probably preaching to the choir for the ones who already get it and are lost on those that are (intentionally?) obtuse. Once in a lifetime? Really?? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/59 "2014-06-22T05:16:56Z")
There’s hyperbole for humorous effect in there, but it definitely rings true to me. I like the Asian one better, though. I think the reversals work better. > [@DingoelGringo](#): > > From the time I was 17 and in arguments in high school back in 1963 I decided there is only one race, and when enrolling my kids in school I always marked other in the race category and wrote in human. Well, that’s very _Free To Be You and Me_ of you. > [@](#): > > No I have never heard moat of these types of comments and doubt very much if most black folks have ever experienced more than one in a lifetime. Then you’re not paying attention. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305/60 "2014-06-22T06:18:32Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > It’s happened to me with coworkers I consider “friends”, sure. They’ll bop into my office, notice that I’m listening to rock music, and then say something like, “Do you listen to _any_ rap? I’m blacker than you, girl!” Or I might utter an expression that’s common with black people, and they’ll suddenly start speaking faux-Ebonics. . . I think that’s literally something straight out of _The Office_. I’d be curious to know what kind of place it is. I mean, are you like the only black employee in the whole place? Or is it in the suburbs of Maine or something? > [@monstro](#): > > . . And then some of them, like the last one, register a giant WTF!..but I STILL keep my mouth shut so that I won’t appear angry to the lame-ass white person trying to relate to me the best way they know how. I don’t know how you keep from slapping them in the face. > [@monstro](#): > > Suffice it to say, it happens enough for the video to reasonate with me. It happens enough to other black people so a video like this makes sense to make. In that case, it could serve as a useful PSA, if only you could get people like that to watch and understand it. > [@monstro](#): > > \*My boss was the one who asked me this. I was so dumbfounded that I didn’t know what to say. I felt awkward around him for a couple of days afterwards, but I don’t think he knew it. But I really like my boss, and I think my boss likes me. He may be clueless, but I don’t think he’s a racist. I think being clueless _is_ racist. Racism isn’t just about hatred or dislike–it’s a mental framework, that even well-intentioned people can perpetuate. It doesn’t have to be personal. The stereotypical southern sheriff thing, while still a reality, actually just serves as a convenient, easy-to-hate villian, that draws attention away from more systemic socio-economic problems that are harder to solve. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poll-your-reaction-to-if-black-people-said-the-stuff-white-people-say/691305.md?page=4)