# Polling: Popular terms for masturbation **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 20, 2006, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176 "2006-11-20T17:37:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Valteron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f17d59/32.png) [@Valteron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valteron)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/1 "2006-11-20T17:37:48Z")
Another thread about a guy who masturbates four times a day got me to wondering how many expreessions there are in popular culture for masturbation. Your contributions are welcome. Here are some I have heard. Strangling the snake Milking the snake The puking lizard The five-fingered date The cheap date Jerking off Whacking off Striking oil priming the pump In French: Se crosser (somehow related to Lacrosse) Se passer un Willy IT WOULD ESPECIALLY BE FUN TO KNOW IF SOME EXPRESSIONS ARE LOCAL, E.G., THE US SOUTH, ENGLAND, EUROPE. ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/2 "2006-11-20T17:40:13Z")
Punching the Munchkin ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/3 "2006-11-20T17:50:26Z")
I’ve heard most of them before…therefore, I’ll make one up. Since most of them male-oriented, I’l make one up for the ladies: Giving the Man in the Boat a noogie ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/4 "2006-11-20T17:54:07Z")
These are always funny (not sure of the source, but they’ve been all over the net for years): > [@](#): > > Top 15 “Star Wars” Euphemisms For Masturbation: > > 1. Shooting Womprats in Beggar’s Canyon > > 2. Grooming the Wookie > > 3. Making the Kessel Run > > 4. Polishing Vader’s Helmet > > 5. Evacuating Tatooine > > 6. Unsheathing the Meatsaber > > 7. Releasing the Special Edition > > 8. Jumping to Delight Speed > > 9. Communicating with Red Leader One > > 10. Lightsaber Practice with Captain Solo > > 11. Tinkering With the R2 Unit > > 12. Manually Targeting the Rebel Base > > 13. Performing the Jedi Hand Trick > > 14. Scratching Yoda Behind the Ears > > and the Number 1 “Star Wars” Euphemism for Masturbation… > > **1. Test Firing the Death Star** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/5 "2006-11-20T17:56:36Z")
UK: “cracking one off” is quite common. My favourite though - Hong Kong: “Dah feh geh” (literally, “beating the airplane”). ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/6 "2006-11-20T18:00:49Z")
Having a pull. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/7 "2006-11-20T18:13:31Z")
Rub one out. Beat the meat. Choke the chicken. For women: Double clicking the mouse. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/8 "2006-11-20T18:15:21Z")
Most of the following are probably Britishisms: “Bashing the bishop” “Spanking the monkey” “Teasing one out” “Relaxing in a gentleman’s way” “Tossing off” “Fun with Pamela and her five little friends” “Jacking off” “Going for a J. Arthur Rank” “Having a game of 5 against 1” ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/9 "2006-11-20T18:32:33Z")
I’ve always been partial to “flicking\* the bean.” - Or your favorite verb. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/10 "2006-11-20T19:00:58Z")
My roomie and I decided many years ago that really just about and verb and noun can be used in this sense. We just call it “Verbing the Noun.” Examples: Stickin’ It To The Man Exercising The Pocket Veto Flying Solo Yanking the Lanyard Using the Self-Service Pump George Carlin gave us these for the ladies: The Two Finger Tango Makin’ Soup Beatin’ the Beaver ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/11 "2006-11-20T19:06:37Z")
[QUOTE=Hypno-Toad] “Verbing the Noun.” [/QUOTE] This is what I’m going to call it from now on. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/12 "2006-11-20T19:38:19Z")
Jay Leno referred to it as “Dougy-ing the Howser”. Ya gotta love it. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/13 "2006-11-20T19:43:41Z")
Some friends and I had an informal contest to see who could come up with the best euphemism a few years back. My offer was: Giving the Champ his Rubdown A friend came up with: Having a Stroke of Genius ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/14 "2006-11-20T19:44:35Z")
In the Steve Martin flick Parenthood, Keanu Reeves called it Slappin’ the Salami. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/15 "2006-11-20T20:07:56Z")
How About “Straightening the Dope” ? ---
**Author:** ![Sonia\_Montdore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Sonia\_Montdore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sonia_Montdore)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/16 "2006-11-20T20:12:15Z")
“Frig” is used a lot in 19th-century porn. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/17 "2006-11-20T20:16:06Z")
Having a Wank/Wanking is popular in England (at least according to the _Bottom_ live shows) ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/18 "2006-11-20T20:27:56Z")
Coming unscrewed. Take matters in your own hands. Writing off your losses. Making sausage gravy. Whipping heavy cream. Wax on, wax off. Purging the prostate. Handiwork. Slippindictomy. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/19 "2006-11-20T20:30:32Z")
I forgot: Whippin’ up some baby batter. ---
**Author:** ![Malienation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Malienation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malienation)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/20 "2006-11-20T20:56:57Z")
For the ladies: [Pumping the treadle](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7553075&postcount=145) Goddamnit! I am _not_ resting until this euphemism, uh, takes off. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176.md?page=2)