# Polling: Popular terms for masturbation **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 20, 2006, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176 "2006-11-20T17:37:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/21 "2006-11-20T21:49:40Z")
I say “jacking off” for men and women. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/22 "2006-11-20T22:01:49Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] I say “jacking off” for men and women. [/QUOTE] Isn’t it “jilling off” when you do it? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/23 "2006-11-20T22:02:14Z")
Since “merchant banker” = “wanker”, I suppose “merchant banking” would work as English rhyming slang. ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/24 "2006-11-20T22:06:21Z")
Jerkin’ the Gerkin and stainin’ the Merkin! (For some reason the ‘g’ must be dropped.) ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/25 "2006-11-20T22:08:28Z")
Immanentizing the eschaton. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/26 "2006-11-20T22:16:49Z")
All the OP needs is a question mark. Polling: Popular terms for masturbation? Yes, it is 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/27 "2006-11-20T22:27:49Z")
This far and nobody’s mentioned “punishing Percy in the palm”? (BTW popular [terms](http://www.ox.ac.uk/aboutoxford/dates.shtml) for masturbation in Oxford would be Michaelmas, Trinity, and Hilary.) ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/28 "2006-11-20T22:41:07Z")
One that’s stood out in my mind ever since I read it is “buttering your bialy”. [QUOTE=Dead Cat] Most of the following are probably Britishisms: “Bashing the bishop” \ “Fun with Pamela and her five little friends” [/QUOTE] Variants I’ve heard in the USA: For the first, _waxing the bishop_. For the second, _having a date with Rosie Palm(er) and her five sisters_. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/29 "2006-11-20T23:12:11Z")
From the show Angel, we have “taking some gentleman’s time”. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/30 "2006-11-20T23:22:23Z")
This thread is bit dominated by male euphemisms. I’ll try to give more equal time to the female euphemisms. Polish the pearl Dial ‘O’ on the pink telephone Check the oil Apply lip gloss Nulling the void Rolling the trackball ---
**Author:** ![Nothing\_Special](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9f8e36/32.png) [@Nothing\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nothing_Special)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2006, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/31 "2006-11-20T23:23:51Z")
How can we have forgotten “Plucking the magic twanger,” taken from the Howdy Doody show in the 1950’s. “C’mon, Froggy, pluck your magic twanger!” Was that Gabby Hayes or Slim Pickens? ---
**Author:** ![BlueKangaroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@BlueKangaroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueKangaroo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/32 "2006-11-21T03:20:12Z")
This is probably more of a Southwestern (NM, specifically) one, but a long ago ex I had called it “Peelin’ chiles”. He particularly liked it because his friends could call his house, not get an answer, ask him what he’d been up to when they called, and not really know how to respond to him saying, “Peelin’ chiles.” (It may also just be a “my strange ex” thing.) ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/33 "2006-11-21T03:36:16Z")
I once had a boyfriend who referred to male masturbation as “jerking for Mister Goodbar.” Dunno whether or not he coined this phrase, but I haven’t heard it elsewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/34 "2006-11-21T03:47:03Z")
I always liked “flogging the dolphin” and “beating the seal.” “Beating your meat” was fairly common in junior high. Most people my age now just say jacking off or whacking off. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/35 "2006-11-21T05:12:22Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] These are always funny (not sure of the source, but they’ve been all over the net for years)… [/QUOTE] I’m 90% sure that’s one of David Letterman’s Top Ten Lists. Woody Allen once said something like, “What’s wrong with masturbation? It’s sex with someone you love.” I’ll be in my bunk. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/36 "2006-11-21T05:16:43Z")
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/37 "2006-11-21T05:19:57Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] I’m 90% sure that’s one of David Letterman’s Top Ten Lists. [/QUOTE] I think you’re thinking of [Top 10 Star Wars Fan Euphemisms For Not Having A Girlfriend](http://humor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ/Ya&sdn=humor&cdn=entertainment&tm=6&gps=106_3_1276_855&f=00&su=p445.92.150.ip_&tt=14&bt=1&bts=1&zu=http%3A//www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/top_ten/archive/ls_topten_archive1999/ls_topten_archive_19990428.shtml). Funny in its own right, and maybe the inspiration for some of those 15, but not as good. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/38 "2006-11-21T05:31:40Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] My favourite though - Hong Kong: “Dah feh geh” (literally, “beating the airplane”). [/QUOTE] Thai: _“Chug wau”_ (flying a kite). I’ve always loved this one. The whole “go fly a kite” implication that it’s fun but somehow not the real thing… ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/39 "2006-11-21T05:54:47Z")
[QUOTE=BlueKangaroo] This is probably more of a Southwestern (NM, specifically) one, but a long ago ex I had called it “Peelin’ chiles”. He particularly liked it because his friends could call his house, not get an answer, ask him what he’d been up to when they called, and not really know how to respond to him saying, “Peelin’ chiles.” (It may also just be a “my strange ex” thing.) [/QUOTE] I always heard “peelin’ chilie” to mean slacking off, beating off, or sitting around with your thumb up your ass, and not to mean actual masturbation. ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176/40 "2006-11-21T06:25:27Z")
[QUOTE=Pygmy Rugger] I always heard “peelin’ chilie” to mean slacking off, beating off, or sitting around with your thumb up your ass, and not to mean actual masturbation. [/QUOTE] And sitting around with your thumb up your ass _isn’t_ actual masturbation? mm [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polling-popular-terms-for-masturbation/381176.md?page=3)