# Polycarp did you forget to take you pills? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 3, 2003, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640 "2003-12-03T03:54:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![badchad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b77776/32.png) [@badchad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badchad)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/1 "2003-12-03T03:54:46Z")
All right I was going to post this in the pit a couple days ago but figured I’d wait to see what happened. I was actually a little concerned for him but since he is back to posting regularly and hasn’t addressed the others (some of whom are his friends) who inquired on this, here goes. Poly thinks Jesus has returned and he knows who he is. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=226105&perpage=40&pagenumber=1](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=226105&perpage=40&pagenumber=1) Regarding the second coming of Jesus, Poly wrote: > [@](#): > > And any evangelical today can tell you exactly what’s going to happen – just like any devout Jew could back then. Nobody expected the Incarnation, the Crucifixion, and the Resurrection. Nobody expected an itinerant rabbi who taught in parables, and who redefined the law as radical love of God and compassionate lovingkindness towards all human beings. > > IMHO, He will make Himself known fairly soon, and in a way that nobody, including me, expects. Those who believe in Him will recognize Him from His teachings – but a lot of those who claim the Christian faith will reject Him because He will contradict the dogma they hold more precious than following Him. > > I have a very strong hunch that I do in fact know his identity – and his surname is already a household word. If I am correct, he is fairly short, a very handsome young man with dusky blonde hair and beautiful-but-insightful blue-green eyes, slightly disabled by a chronic heart-valve problem, in his late teens today. He will probably be accompanied by a companion since childhood, a dark-haired young man whose heart is given to him. > > And His teachings will shock the evangelical community. Poly hasn’t yet named names but to me this seems even dumber than when he tried to tell the SDMB he had telepathic powers (if it were anyone else I’d swear he was joking). I’m pretty sure Poly won’t answer me on this thread but what I’m really curious about is if any of his groupies want to follow him down this road, that Jesus is some blond kid, Poly has already recognized him and finds him attractive. Duck Duck Goose? Andros? Xeno? Beuller? Beuller? How about it guys? And if I can ask just one more question. Is Jesus’ mom a virgin this time around too? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/2 "2003-12-03T04:03:29Z")
Justin Timberlake? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/3 "2003-12-03T04:04:36Z")
I _really_ don’t understand why he wouldn’t simply say the name. It’s like he’s trying not to spoil it, like it were the end of “Joe Millionaire” or something. What’s the harm is saying it? Is He shy, and might get scared away? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/4 "2003-12-03T04:16:08Z")
For a while I thought it might have been some sly pop culture reference (Luke Skywalker? Frodo Baggins? Matt Damon?) but nothing seemed to fit. I even tried to think of real people but I couldn’t come up with anybody with a famous last name, a bad pump and a dark-haired companion. Actually, **Poly** I really am curious about what you meant by that description. Even if you don’t want to say any more about it, at least tell us that. Tell us _something_. That was the most intriguing post I’ve ever seen here, and I’m not being sarcastic in the least. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/5 "2003-12-03T04:18:48Z")
> [@](#): > > I couldn’t come up with anybody with a famous last name, a bad pump and a dark-haired companion. Justin Timberlake. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/6 "2003-12-03T04:28:48Z")
> [@](#): > > I have a very strong hunch that I do in fact know his identity – and his surname is already a household word. If I am correct, he is fairly short, a very handsome young man with dusky blonde hair and beautiful-but-insightful blue-green eyes, slightly disabled by a chronic heart-valve problem, in his late teens today. He will probably be accompanied by a companion since childhood, a dark-haired young man whose heart is given to him. > > And His teachings will shock the evangelical community. _Yum._ Do they double-date? ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/7 "2003-12-03T04:30:18Z")
A walking clock? ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/8 "2003-12-03T04:37:11Z")
God damn that is a weird thread. ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/9 "2003-12-03T04:38:30Z")
You know, as much as I hate to encourage badchad and his hard on for Polycarp, that is an extremely bizarre post. ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/10 "2003-12-03T04:40:09Z")
If Poly doesn’t want to tell us, maybe he could tell us if we’re getting warm? I mean, he said the dude’s last name is already a household name, so it shouldn’t be too hard to guess. My first guess is: one of the Hansen brothers. ---
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/11 "2003-12-03T04:47:29Z")
That’s **your** pills, not **you** pills, **badchad**. {{{{lightning strike}}}} Eh, I like **Polycarp** …he finds the time to get outside of the Pit once in awhile. Religious differences are nothing to fight about (ha ha!). Well, at least here. I guess I may be in the minority, but I truly don’t find offense in 80% of the religious posts. It’s certainly nothing to get all riled up about, is it? It’s the holiday season, after all. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![badchad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b77776/32.png) [@badchad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badchad)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/12 "2003-12-03T04:51:34Z")
essvee: > [@](#): > > You know, as much as I hate to encourage badchad and his hard on for Polycarp, that is an extremely bizarre post. Thanks, er, a, I think.🙂 Does Billy Graham have any blond kids? ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/13 "2003-12-03T04:56:53Z")
If it weren’t for the “teenage” thing, I’d be thinking Carson from the Fab Five. He has several dark-haired companions… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/14 "2003-12-03T04:57:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*Justin Timberlake. \*\* Who’s the dark haired companion? ---
**Author:** ![badchad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b77776/32.png) [@badchad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badchad)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/15 "2003-12-03T04:57:56Z")
Blonde: > [@](#): > > That’s your pills, not youpills, badchad. Thanks, if some mod wants to correct that for me, I’d be appreciative. ---
**Author:** ![peri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/67e7ee/32.png) [@peri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peri)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/16 "2003-12-03T05:05:08Z")
Macaulay Culkin and Michael Jackson, right? ---
**Author:** ![wakimika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f08c70/32.png) [@wakimika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wakimika)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/17 "2003-12-03T05:07:33Z")
Hmm, he is not a household name, rather, his surname is a household word. Little Johnny Doorbell? ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/18 "2003-12-03T05:17:25Z")
Fuck! I thought I was going to be me. I’m still in the running for anti-christ though, correct? ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/19 "2003-12-03T05:29:04Z")
[Jeremy Sumpter](http://www.louisvillescene.com/movies/features/2003/20031128peterpan.html)? ---
**Author:** ![montag01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@montag01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/montag01)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/20 "2003-12-03T06:12:42Z")
Could it be Brian Littrell from the Back Street Boys? He isn’t a teen, but he has had various heart surgeries. And perhaps the dark haired companion could be Howie or A.J. I don’t know how tall BL is, but I understand he at least proclaims himself a Christian. Yes, truly Back Street’s Back . . . harken, sinners! Wait . . . is the phrase " whose heart is given to him" a Delphic obfuscation? Perhaps it means that the male companion has had a heart transplant. The plot thickens . . . [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640.md?page=2)