# Polycarp did you forget to take you pills? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 3, 2003, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640 "2003-12-03T03:54:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/21 "2003-12-03T06:22:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bobkitty \* > \*\*If it weren’t for the “teenage” thing, I’d be thinking Carson from the Fab Five. He has several dark-haired companions… 😉 \*\* Carson can’t be Jesus, he’s too busy being God! ---
**Author:** ![KidCharlemagne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@KidCharlemagne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KidCharlemagne)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/22 "2003-12-03T06:33:37Z")
David Spade? Prince William? I couldn’t find anyone who fit the bill on the Celebrities with Faulty Heart Valves Homepage. ---
**Author:** ![SnoopyFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@SnoopyFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnoopyFan)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/23 "2003-12-03T06:35:54Z")
Um … Polycarp was just kidding, right? About the whole Jesus-has-come-back-as-a-blonde-with-a-murmur thing? Was that a joke thread? (Seriously. Was it?) ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/24 "2003-12-03T06:47:48Z")
Even if Poly was joking (and I hope he wasn’t – Jesus sounds hot in that one), it wouldn’t have been a joke thread, seeing as how Poly wasn’t the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/25 "2003-12-03T07:02:53Z")
Well, I dunno what’s going on there either, but from a conservative theological perspective, Poly’s wrong. The official conservative Christian party line is that the Second Coming of Christ will be dramatic and immediate, like lightning shining from west to east. And judgemental. Boom, like that. End of time, end of story, bring out the Book of Life and start reading off the names. No matter whether you want to view it as a metaphor or as a literal “book of life”, still it’s plain that it’s meant to be dramatic and obvious this time around. No quiet virgin birth, no dark-horse obscurity, no puzzled evangelicals wondering whether this one is the Real Messiah. It will be a no-brainer. Yup, that’s Him all right, the one on the left, the Lamb with seven horns and seven eyes… And no, I’m not using the term “conservative Christian” here as a code word for “kneejerk holy roller Bible-pounding Fundie”, since other denominations like the Presbyterians and Lutherans believe in a literal Second Coming, too. Now, apparently the Episcopalians believe in a more metaphorical Second Coming. So I have no idea what Poly’s getting at, but I originally thought it was a a joke of some kind. I assumed it was a South Park reference (because of the OP), and since I don’t watch South Park I wouldn’t have any idea. So it’s not? ---
**Author:** ![Baraqiyal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@Baraqiyal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baraqiyal)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/26 "2003-12-03T07:29:24Z")
Well, Kenny’s heart was once replaced with a baked potato. ---
**Author:** ![Ben\_Hicks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbce88/32.png) [@Ben\_Hicks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ben_Hicks)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/27 "2003-12-03T07:45:25Z")
> [@](#): > > I have a very strong hunch that I do in fact know his identity – and his surname is already a household word. If I am correct, he is fairly short, a very handsome young man with dusky blonde hair and beautiful-but-insightful blue-green eyes, slightly disabled by a chronic heart-valve problem, in his late teens today. He will probably be accompanied by a companion since childhood, a dark-haired young man whose heart is given to him. If the descriptions of these two characters were reversed I’d swear \*\*Poly[/b[ was talking about Frodo Baggins and Sam 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/28 "2003-12-03T08:45:13Z")
Does Esprix have heart problems? ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/29 "2003-12-03T08:57:18Z")
I’m just looking for a flimsy excuse to link to [this](http://www.theonion.com/3947/opinion1.html). And now I’ve found it! ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/30 "2003-12-03T11:09:53Z")
> [@](#): > > What’s that? Oh, I’m being an asshole about it, am I? Thou sayest, motherfucker. _Thou sayest._ And there was great rejoicing. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/31 "2003-12-03T13:36:59Z")
Hey, **badchad**. Just what is your gripe with **Polycarp** anyway? So what if he believes he knows who the messiah is? How exactly does that effect you? ---
**Author:** ![badchad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b77776/32.png) [@badchad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badchad)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/32 "2003-12-03T13:38:00Z")
LOL, there is never a bad time to link an onion. ---
**Author:** ![Beagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Beagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beagle)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/33 "2003-12-03T13:48:06Z")
Remember George Michael and, eh, Andrew Ridgley? Arnie (Gov of CA, actor, bodybuilder) had heart valve surgery. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/34 "2003-12-03T13:58:43Z")
Wait…a savior who is _disabled by a chronic heart-valve problem_. That’s Tony Stark! Jesus is Ironman!!! ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/35 "2003-12-03T14:07:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lord Ashtar \* > \*\*Hey, **badchad**. Just what is your gripe with **Polycarp** anyway? So what if he believes he knows who the messiah is? How exactly does that effect you? \*\* FTR, I don’t know how it _a_ffects **badchad** , but as for me, I like **Polycarp** , and I would be sad and disappointed if he turned out to be crazy. Take care of yourself, **Polycarp**. ---
**Author:** ![RTA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@RTA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTA)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/36 "2003-12-03T14:10:58Z")
A young man with a flawed heart and a dark-haired mentor, who contradicts Christian dogma and will make himself known very soon? Sounds like someone’s awaiting _Star Wars: Episode III_ a little too feverishly. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/37 "2003-12-03T14:19:39Z")
This whole thing reminds me of how Brian got mistaken for the Messiah in the first place. Make a slightly ambiguous statement, then run off, and don’t bother to fin ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/38 "2003-12-03T14:23:06Z")
Sorry, but **Poly** is 180 degrees off in his pick for the return engagement of Jesus. He has already appeared…in the guise of Cedric The Entertainer. And the Lord is going to Nail Our Ass. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/39 "2003-12-03T14:28:27Z")
I agree with **Mangetout**. > [@](#): > > Am I the only one that thinks poly is whooshing some folks here? - Surely this detailed description of a person must be someone actually known to (and dearly loved by) Poly and he is intending the statement as an oblique compliment to his friend, eh? ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640/40 "2003-12-03T14:40:37Z")
I’m guessing Clay Aiken and his big (dark haired) buddy Ruban. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-did-you-forget-to-take-you-pills/216640.md?page=3)