# Polycarp for President **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 1, 2003, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493 "2003-05-01T22:50:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/21 "2003-05-02T16:50:04Z")
Then i guess i better become **Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland** That way we can ensure that the “special relationship” is preserved. ---
**Author:** ![Dumbguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dumbguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dumbguy)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/22 "2003-05-02T17:33:50Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Polycarp \* **How do these sound for appointments after we win: [ul][li]CJHoworth for Chief of Staff[/li][li]Jonathan Chance for Press Secretary[/li][li]minty green or Jodi for Attorney General[/li][li]Bluesman for National Security Advisor[/li][li]Canvas Shoes for Secretary of the Interior[/ul]**[/li][/QUOTE] How about **Kimstu** for Secretary of Education? ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/23 "2003-05-02T22:38:12Z")
I say **Coldfire** for Office of Homeland Security. Cuz he’s a… he’s a… a _nazi_. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/24 "2003-05-02T22:54:00Z")
[Poly](http://www.tambotours.com/pics/amazon/parrot.gif)[Carp](http://www.carp-fishing-canada.co.uk/images/jocky-carp.jpg) [for](http://www.nottingham.ac.uk/education/number/4.gif) [President](http://www.wishvalue.co.uk/upload/vouchers/C112200426.jpg) Yay! ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/25 "2003-05-02T22:55:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blackeyes \* > \*\*I say **Coldfire** for Office of Homeland Security. Cuz he’s a… he’s a… a _nazi_. \*\* How about giving it to **Libertarian**? He’s not a doctrinaire all-government-is-evil person; he sees the need for government, just as little as we can possibly get along with. Putting him in charge of DHS would furnish a self-correcting mechanism for that agency – he’d give us what we aboslutely need along those lines but no more. (Besides, **Coldie** wouldn’t immigrate. Same problem with **matt\_mcl**.) **Triskadecamus** for Health and Human Services seems like an obvious choice, with **Qadgop the Mercotan** as his #2 man handling the health end of things. ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/26 "2003-05-02T22:58:25Z")
Can I be in charge of the NEA? Please? Pleeeeeeeeaaase? And here’s a wonderful slogan: **Polycarp** & **Esprix** in 2004 No, it’s **not** a wasted vote ---
**Author:** ![KinSaba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7bcc69/32.png) [@KinSaba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KinSaba)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/27 "2003-05-02T23:16:04Z")
Got my vote. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/28 "2003-05-02T23:24:16Z")
Well, since I was the only kid in the class who couldn’t grow up to be president, Chief of Staff will have to do. Do I get my own intern? Hmmm… Ways to torture Congress Critters… I’m so sorry, Mr. Santorum. President Polycarp’s schedule is still completely booked. Yes, I know I’ve been saying that for the past 3 1/2 years. Yes, I know you were hoping to meet with him, but you see, he has to go to a wedding then. His Vice President’s. I believe the priests will be a Wiccan science fiction writer and his wife. :Calls intern: Could you bring the smelling salts in here, please? I seem to have got another one! CJ Come on! Did any of you really think I wouldn’t vote for Polycarp? ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/29 "2003-05-03T00:15:18Z")
You know what I just realized, is that you can sing **Polycarp** ’s name to that “Lollipop” song. _Polycarp, Polycarp, ooh Poly Poly Carp, Polycarp, Polycarp, ooh Poly Poly Carp…_ ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/30 "2003-05-03T00:25:13Z")
**A vote for Polycarp is a vote for Polycarp!** **Give your votes to Polycarp – because his daddy can’t buy them for him** **WWJVF?** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Govindha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5fc32e/32.png) [@Govindha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Govindha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/31 "2003-05-03T00:48:39Z")
I’ll join the numbers…poly for prez…I’m currently under a new name, so i’ve read quite a few of his posts… ``` Hey polycarp, I too am from franklin co. nc...small world eh? ``` ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/32 "2003-05-03T01:55:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Polycarp \* > **I like this idea! (And it does wonders for my employment situation!)** 😃 At last, an honest man in the White House! He’s go my vote! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/33 "2003-05-03T02:12:05Z")
Oooh! **Polycarp** -can I be ambassador to Russia? Please please please??? Oh, and I’d not only vote for you, but I’d volunteer to work for your campaign! ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/34 "2003-05-03T02:19:16Z")
Hmm. Does this mean that Lynn will become chief of the secret police? Also, add my vote to the pile. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/35 "2003-05-03T02:28:48Z")
I’ll build you a campaign platform! * * * Pro freedom of religion, but NO religious legistration! I mean it. Let everyone worship as they please (no killings, though) and keep it all out of politics. Pro education. Gotsta get the stupid out. Start young. Pro choice. And I don’t just mean abortion. When it affects only the person or their immediate family family, let them choose. Anti pork. I like chicken. No, really. Lobby for an ammendment, law, whatever that cuts out the graft, greed, and excess from every stinking bill introduced. Anti income tax. I’m taxed on what I make, what I spend, and on the value of what I own. Cut out one of them. Maybe just a flat tax on spending. (GD here we come) Foriegn policy? I don’t know much about that. Help? Pro science. With all the pork gone, maybe we can fund some real stuff. * * * If I don’t rate a cabinet position (see above post in my name, the one nominating Esprix as running mate), perhaps a spokesman type position. Or an Aide. You’d be surprised what I can accomplish in a short period of time. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/36 "2003-05-03T04:23:39Z")
Can I have Christine Whitman’s job at EPA? There’s no way I can be worse at the job than she is. And I have 14 years experience in State gov working in Environmental… And I’d just LOVE to fire half the staff working in EPA today. PLEASE O PLEASE O PLEASE!! Polycarp, Polycarp, ooh Poly Poly Carp, Polycarp, Polycarp, ooh Poly Poly Carp… now it’s stuck in my head!! ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/37 "2003-05-03T04:27:19Z")
Oh goody, I think I just wrote ourselves a campaign jingle! ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/38 "2003-05-03T05:04:39Z")
[Polycarp for President](http://home.valornet.com/homebrew/PolyPrez.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/39 "2003-05-03T05:13:01Z")
I’d vote for him. So, do we form a real political party, or should we organize the write-in vote? Or both? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493/40 "2003-05-03T11:02:23Z")
[movie cliche] Y’know, it’s so crazy it _just might work_. [/movie cliche] An Internet-based presidential write-in campaign? Getting out the geek vote? Get the right memes going, and the media might actually pick it up. Any skeletons in your closet we should know about, **Poly**? [sub]No, don’t answer that.[/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polycarp-for-president/172493.md?page=3)