# Polygamist ninjas attack home of witness in Utah sex assault case - subdued by man with sword **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 21, 2014, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077 "2014-09-21T12:24:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2014, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/1 "2014-09-21T12:24:35Z")
Wasn’t this a Tarantino movie? > **[Polygamist women dressed 'like ninjas' attack home of witness in Utah sex...](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/sep/20/polygamist-women-utah-sex-assault-case)** > > Police say two women in West Jordan, aged 18 and 22, ‘violently attacked one of the adult males’ in the house and are now in custody > [@](#): > > Two armed “polygamist women” dressed like “ninjas” were subdued by a sword-wielding man during a home invasion, according to police in suburban Utah. > > Police said the two women, aged 18 and 22, were attacking the home of a witness and victim in a criminal child sex assault case against a man the women called their “husband”. > … > “Another adult male joined the fray in defense of the first male victim. He was armed with a sword, and using a sword … and with the other male [was] able to subdue the two women until police arrived and took them into custody.” > … > Two women clad in ninja costumes, armed with knives and stun guns, forced their way through the door. The family believes they were there to abduct a 15-year-old girl inside. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2014, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/2 "2014-09-21T12:33:26Z")
Those wacky Mormons. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2014, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/3 "2014-09-21T13:18:59Z")
From a local [TV station interviewing](http://fox13now.com/2014/09/19/victims-of-ninja-attack-say-polygamous-women-were-targeting-witness-in-rape-trial/) one of the men who overpowered the ninjas. > [@](#): > > “It was so surreal,” the man said. You think? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2014, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/4 "2014-09-21T14:07:53Z")
I think we found where **Master Wang-Ka** disappeared to. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2014, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/5 "2014-09-21T14:08:41Z")
I gotta get out more. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2014, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/6 "2014-09-21T14:14:37Z")
But the pirates escaped since the police were so focused on the ninjas. Oldest trick in the book. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2014, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/7 "2014-09-21T14:21:08Z")
They really give law-abiding polygamist ninjas a bad name. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2014, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/8 "2014-09-21T14:58:52Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Those wacky Mormons. They’re vorpal Mormons. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2014, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/9 "2014-09-21T15:15:22Z")
Two women ninjas? At once…? Shuriken. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2014, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/10 "2014-09-21T15:54:18Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > From a local [TV station interviewing](http://fox13now.com/2014/09/19/victims-of-ninja-attack-say-polygamous-women-were-targeting-witness-in-rape-trial/) one of the men who overpowered the ninjas. You think? Your link gives us another piece of information. It was a _Samurai_ sword. ---
**Author:** ![JoseB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/joseb/32/1530_2.png) [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2014, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/11 "2014-09-21T17:21:41Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > Your link gives us another piece of information. It was a _Samurai_ sword. Well, at least everybody kept to the theme… ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2014, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/12 "2014-09-21T17:40:41Z")
Some of this is surely a matter of interpretation. These two women dressed themselves in dark clothes and masks so as not to be seen or recognized. The victims then interpreted this as “ninja costumes”. The fact that one of the victims had a “Samurai sword” shows a probable interest in Japanese martial arts and this interest is what led to the “ninja” interpretation, and of course the media ran with it because “polygamist ninjas” get a bigger audience than “kidnappers”. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2014, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/13 "2014-09-21T18:22:43Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > Some of this is surely a matter of interpretation. These two women dressed themselves in dark clothes and masks so as not to be seen or recognized. The victims then interpreted this as “ninja costumes”. The fact that one of the victims had a “Samurai sword” shows a probable interest in Japanese martial arts and this interest is what led to the “ninja” interpretation, and of course the media ran with it because “polygamist ninjas” get a bigger audience than “kidnappers”. Killjoy. This was exactly as the media presented it…and more. The conflict between the polygamist and monogamist ninja clans extends back centuries, perhaps even millenia. It just rare the they let their facade slip enough to let “civilians” get a glimpse of their secret, eternal war. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2014, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/14 "2014-09-21T20:47:58Z")
Pity this didn’t happen in Britain, because the entire situation just cries out for someone in authority to ask, “Now what’s all this then?” ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2014, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/15 "2014-09-22T01:44:50Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > I think we found where **Master Wang-Ka** disappeared to. Exactly what I was going to say. But then, it is way too obvious. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2014, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/16 "2014-09-22T02:03:34Z")
Well my weekend suddenly seems much less interesting. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2014, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/17 "2014-09-22T04:32:37Z")
> [@Dendarii\_Dame](#): > > Pity this didn’t happen in Britain, because the entire situation just cries out for someone in authority to ask, “Now what’s all this then?” I was expecting more like a colonel coming in and seeing that and saying to them “Right, stop That! It’s silly…” ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2014, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/18 "2014-09-22T05:10:49Z")
Now if only the intruders had been expecting, we could have had pregnant polygamous ninjas – band name! ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2014, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/19 "2014-09-22T12:49:21Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > Now if only the intruders had been expecting, we could have had pregnant polygamous ninjas – band name! I do like that band name better than breast milk kata. Ronin hoes! oooOOOOOhhh-Noes! Ronin hoes! oooOOOOOhhh-Noes! ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2014, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/20 "2014-09-23T00:05:19Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > Two armed “polygamist women” […] I find it curious that they needed to specify that these women had two arms. Does your average “polygamist woman” have more or fewer than that? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077.md?page=2)