# Polygamist ninjas attack home of witness in Utah sex assault case - subdued by man with sword **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 21, 2014, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077 "2014-09-21T12:24:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/21 "2014-09-25T00:04:02Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > Two women ninjas? At once…? Shuriken. Two women ninjas? AT once…? Lucky! ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/22 "2014-09-25T02:43:54Z")
> [@Tamerlane](#): > > Killjoy. > > This was exactly as the media presented it…and more. The conflict between the polygamist and monogamist ninja clans extends back centuries, perhaps even millenia. It just rare the they let their facade slip enough to let “civilians” get a glimpse of their secret, eternal war. Hey, hey, careful, there! The first rule of Polygamist Ninja Clan is… …pay your dues on time. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/23 "2014-09-26T16:45:31Z")
> [@Tamerlane](#): > > Killjoy. > > This was exactly as the media presented it…and more. The conflict between the polygamist and monogamist ninja clans extends back centuries, perhaps even millenia. It just rare the they let their facade slip enough to let “civilians” get a glimpse of their secret, eternal war. I think you just gave Stephanie Meyer a new book idea. Ass. Bonus points because it involves actual Mormons. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/24 "2014-09-26T17:23:41Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > They’re vorpal Mormons. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/25 "2014-09-26T19:14:03Z")
> [@GIGObuster](#): > > I was expecting more like a colonel coming in and seeing that and saying to them “Right, stop That! It’s silly…” Or a Regimental Sergeant Major. ---
**Author:** ![wedgehed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@wedgehed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgehed)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/26 "2014-09-26T19:45:39Z")
Brig-Ham-Yung? ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/27 "2014-09-26T20:05:49Z")
Swords are in now,. You can always get extra media mileage out of your craziness if you flash a sword around. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077/28 "2014-09-26T21:11:12Z")
Karaoke time! Everybody was kung fu fighting (da da da da da da da) Those kicks were fast as lightning (da da da da da da da) In fact, it was a little bit frightening (da da da da da da da) But they fought with expert timing (da da da da da da da) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamist-ninjas-attack-home-of-witness-in-utah-sex-assault-case-subdued-by-man-with-sword/699077.md?page=1)