# Polygamy: The Answers **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [July 15, 2012, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274 "2012-07-15T03:06:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Red\_Wiggler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/red_wiggler/32/13190_2.png) [@Red\_Wiggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Wiggler)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/41 "2012-07-15T16:05:34Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > I know this is an opinion, and I hate it when people ask for cites for personal opinions. But you’re going to have to back this up with some proof. > > From what I have read, the FLDS communities where plural marriage is practiced tend to be perilously close to authoritarian communities. Those who don’t do what they’re told are shunned and exiled. I’m not saying the people there are bad people, but your average Joe and Sally in any repressive environment tends to be pretty law abiding… because if they aren’t, well, there are consequences. So these communities that you talk about: which ones are they, exactly? If you were a woman of child-bearing age in Hildale, Utah or Colorado City, Arizona, you were more likely to be punished as a prisoner would than to be shunned and exiled. It took a lot for women to escape that environment. Which is mostly a cautionary tale of polygamy more than something which should seriously shape the debate. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/42 "2012-07-15T16:33:53Z")
> [@](#): > > Right now, the majority say “no go” to same sex marriage (I think) I believe you are mistaken, that tide has turned. And once in the majority, now is being pursued under equal protection, as it should have been all along. That majority produced the political capital to make that happen. As it should. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/43 "2012-07-15T16:34:11Z")
Why is everything all blue? ---
**Author:** ![truthSeeker2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7cd45c/32.png) [@truthSeeker2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/truthSeeker2)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/44 "2012-07-15T16:34:43Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Supposedly it’s illegal in South Africa, but the president has multiple wives. > > Our close, strategic ally and nascent democracy, Afghanistan, allows it. Also legal in Iraq. Islam says a man can have as many wives but a woman can’t have more than one husband. In India, there are different marriage laws for muslims and for everybody else. So, a Muslim man can have multiple wives in India. Quite shameful that a democracy doesnt have same law for all citizens. I am for monogamy, do not care what religions say. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/45 "2012-07-15T16:58:24Z")
It does have the same law for all citizens. If you want to marry a second wife, you are free to convert to Islam. Not that it’s not a stupid rule, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/46 "2012-07-15T16:58:36Z")
> [@FounderChurch](#): > > \*\*Polygamy is far less harmful to society than same sex marriage by far. \*\* It’s funny you should say that, since any polygamous marriage must by its nature also be a same-sex marriage. Barring unusual cases where one of the parties is an intersex person, any marriage made up of three or more people must have at least two who are of the same sex. > [@FounderChurch](#): > > **What you hear is a bunch of junk.** Quite the contrary to all you say, Polygamy (in our society today) allows women even more freedom and advancement. Yes, some of the sister wives can really do full time careers, while the other sisters who WANT to care for kids can care for their kids. In other words, it’s a lesbian marriage where one woman has a career and the other stays home to raise the kids. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/47 "2012-07-15T17:09:41Z")
> [@truthSeeker2](#): > > Islam says a man can have as many wives but a woman can’t have more than one husband. In India, there are different marriage laws for muslims and for everybody else. So, a Muslim man can have multiple wives in India. Quite shameful that a democracy doesnt have same law for all citizens. > > I am for monogamy, do not care what religions say. I don’t care about religion or any particular familial structure. If people want to form polygamous unions, they can knock themselves out as far as I’m concerned. ---
**Author:** ![FounderChurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@FounderChurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FounderChurch)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/48 "2012-07-15T17:10:13Z")
**It seems a lot of people here don’t read well.** Did I not say repeatedly that in every society on earth that has allowed Polygamy, that 90+ percent of the marriages are monogamous? How hard is that to comprehend? \*\*Therefore, the scare stuff certain people spread \*\*about the consequences of allowing Polygamy is unfounded in statistical fact. Polygamy in fact RELIEVES certain societal, psychological, emotional, family and economic pressures, it DOES NOT create them or add to them, or exacerbate them. ---
**Author:** ![FounderChurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@FounderChurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FounderChurch)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/49 "2012-07-15T17:12:47Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > This is not a theocracy, what the Bible says is irrelevant. It’s also an incoherent collection of mythology written by barbarians, and the last thing you should try to base a modern society on. > > “Sodomistic?” :rolleyes: > > And unlike same sex marriage, there are a variety of plausible practical and moral reasons to oppose polygamy; it’s a question that can be argued either way. Opposing same sex marriage on the other hand is quite baseless and always boils down to bigotry; again and again opponents have been challenged to produce a good reason to oppose it and failed. The two cases aren’t very similar. **YES, they are very different** , Same Sex “Marriage” is always bad and negative with no redeeming social values, while Plural Marriage is always a positive with lots of redeeming social values. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/50 "2012-07-15T17:14:02Z")
What is “bad and negative” about same sex marriage, exactly? ---
**Author:** ![FounderChurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@FounderChurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FounderChurch)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/51 "2012-07-15T17:21:08Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Why is everything all blue? \*\*EVERYTHING is not all blue. \*\*Only my posts are blue, because I like them that way. They look nicer, and they stand out a bit, but not too much, and I can more easily find and separate my writing from that of all others. **It takes me time and effort** in order to make my posts more readable, nicer to look at, and so forth. I contribute that labor to the site. I also always try to punctuate, spell and write clear sentences out of respect for the other posters, and myself, and what I say. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/52 "2012-07-15T17:30:34Z")
I have a hard time accepting the validity of a moral system that argues that polygamy is okay but same-sex marriage is wrong. If marriage is only a moral issue for the individuals in the marriage then polygamy and same-sex marriage are both as morally valid as a traditional man-woman marriage. But if marriage is a social issue, then neither polygamy or same-sex marriage fall within the traditional norm. ---
**Author:** ![FounderChurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@FounderChurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FounderChurch)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/53 "2012-07-15T17:39:22Z")
> [@Jonathan\_Chance](#): > > OK, look, the OP is presenting his argument in such a way as to guarantee a feeding frenzy here. God knows that’s true. > > But the honesty inherent in his ‘if you’re going to allow polygyny then you have to allow polyandry’ statement is notable. In those I’ve seen making the polygyny argument in the past I’ve often heard that contradiction hand waved away. > > Also, I find I can fairly easily shoot down most of the arguments against polygamy by drawing what I feel are true parallels to monogamy. > > The argument that it draws down the available marriage/sex partners for single men? Monogamy does that as well. I’ve been with a smoking hot woman for a quarter century. That’s one less smoking hot woman out there for the rest to pursue. > > The argument that it leads to abuse of women? That was certainly the case for monogamy prior to the evolution of society against the concept of ‘Man and wife’ into ‘husband and wife’. Prior to that a women was essential chattel for her husband. Women couldn’t vote, own property, handle money and so forth without some man (husband, father, son, whatever) expressing approval. I think it would be fair to say that polygamistic marriage, having not been allowed societal approval, has yet to have the opportunity to go through this evolution. It’s quite possible that, given 100 years of legal polygamy, that such would evolve as well. > > Really, the issue I see holding back polygamy that may not be answerable is economic. There are simple and straightforward answers for dissolution of marriage via death or divorce. The courts have dealt with it. But there’s no quick and simple path for government to deal with a situation where a spouse dies and the marriage carries on. Or where a divorce occurs but the marriage continues. That’s not to say that such couldn’t be adopted over time. But it would require some true legislative work. And I don’t think American society is ready to take the time right now. > > Question: Is there any liberal democracy that allows plural marriage? I’m not aware of one but I’d be interested in hearing how it copes (if it does). **Intelligent post.** But, I will make some amendments if I may. It has taken centuries to develop monogamy marriage laws, and it would take a little time to expand those to cover Polygamous families. **Also, we need to understand there are tens of thousands, of Polygamous Families** out there in our country and working fine according to all reports and I am not talking about FLDS gated commmunites either. I’m talking about in every city, town and state in the union. So, we do not have to start from scratch, these families already exist albeit, not fully legal. One wife is legal and the other are just wives without the marriage certificate. Even so this seems to work fine, and would only work better if it were legalized. **Frankly, I would like to see the D\*\*\*\*D Government totally out of the marriage business, period.** We don’t need big brother in the middle of the marriage bed or anyplace else personal. And that goes for birth and death certificates. What business is it of the government the Grandpa finally died, or that a baby was born, or that Sis got married to the boy next door? Enter that stuff in the family bible as people all did before government got its filthy fingers stuck into our lives. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/54 "2012-07-15T17:45:30Z")
> [@FounderChurch](#): > > **Intelligent post.** And that goes for birth and death certificates. What business is it of the government the Grandpa finally died, or that a baby was born, or that Sis got married to the boy next door? Enter that stuff in the family bible as people all did before government got its filthy fingers stuck into our lives. > > 🙂 The government might need to know to stop sending checks to Granpa. But, I’m sure you’d like to do away with Social Security too. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/55 "2012-07-15T17:46:20Z")
> [@FounderChurch](#): > > **YES, they are very different** , Same Sex “Marriage” is always bad and negative with no redeeming social values, while Plural Marriage is always a positive with lots of redeeming social values. It is _always_ a positive? Warren Jeffs was doing his 12 year old brides a favor? > [@](#): > > Also, we need to understand there are tens of thousands, of Polygamous Families out there in our country and working fine according to all reports Then produce some objective cites for “all” of these reports. You seem to have a tendency to speak in absolutes. Are you really choosing your words carefully here? ---
**Author:** ![FounderChurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@FounderChurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FounderChurch)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/56 "2012-07-15T17:49:33Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Just a point of clarification by the OP: Are you a member of an FLDS church? Just curious. **Absolutely not.** I was raised a Protestant and am now non-denominational. But, I respect all religions, denominations and sects as all of them are at least trying to reach out to the creator of the Universe. I can respect that reaching out to a higher power. **Beyond that I don’t condemn.** I do condemn those who are so evil they have no respect for anything including the creation of our universe. Such people I disrespect, because they disrespect me and everyone and everything. I call them totally evil. ---
**Author:** ![FounderChurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@FounderChurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FounderChurch)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/57 "2012-07-15T17:55:45Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > Then produce some objective cites for “all” of these reports. You seem to have a tendency to speak in absolutes. Are you really choosing your words carefully here? **I choose my words very carefully** , and I do use absolutes and generalizations when I think they are appropriate. \*\*As for cites, I give none, \*\*and no referrals, no evidence, no proofs, no footnotes, and no statistics. I give only my opinion, nothing more nothing less. This is a forum of opinion not a court of law, or a University seminar, or a school paper, or a graduate thesis. **If anyone wants evidence, I suggest you get your own, I do my own research, and suggest you do yours.** 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![J\_Cubed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c6cbf5/32.png) [@J\_Cubed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/J_Cubed)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/58 "2012-07-15T17:57:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \It seems a lot of people here don’t read well.\ Because your stupid blue font is hard to look at. I daresay that you don’t understand that for the same reason that you don’t understand why there’s nothing wrong with same-sex marriage. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/59 "2012-07-15T18:08:55Z")
> [@FounderChurch](#): > > **I choose my words very carefully** , and I do use absolutes and generalizations when I think they are appropriate. > > \*\*As for cites, I give none, \*\*and no referrals, no evidence, no proofs, no footnotes, and no statistics. I give only my opinion, nothing more nothing less. This is a forum of opinion not a court of law, or a University seminar, or a school paper, or a graduate thesis. > > **If anyone wants evidence, I suggest you get your own, I do my own research, and suggest you do yours.** > > 🙂 In that case, I’ve reported this thread for a forum change. This forum is where you must give cites, evidence and “proofs”. We have other forums for ranting or opining. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274/60 "2012-07-15T18:09:51Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Why is everything all blue? The Ty-D-Bowl man attempted to cleanse the thread, to no avail. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polygamy-the-answers/628274.md?page=4)