# Pompous negativity in Cafe Society threads **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 29, 2003, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376 "2003-05-29T21:35:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/61 "2003-05-30T23:10:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wring \* > **. . . But - ya open a thread in Cafe Society fer cryin out loud, where the function is to discuss art, tv, movie, theater etc, - a subjective subject if there ever was one, and bleat when some one posts an opposing view in your thread. . . .** Since this wasn’t the point of my thread, and you’re apparently responding to a post that exists only in your mind, wring, I won’t respond to this . . . except in your mind. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/62 "2003-05-30T23:20:35Z")
I mean, OK, wait a minute, wring. You’re saying that this is perfectly acceptable Cafe Society etiquette: [ul] **OP: Who’s your favorite Buffy character?** First post: _Spike!_ Second post: _Willow!_ Third post: _Anya!_ Fourth post: _Percy!_ Fifth post: _Buffy is the lamest show on TV. I don’t know how anyone can waste their time with that dreck._[/ul] ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/63 "2003-05-30T23:20:43Z")
so, then, **lissener** who posted the OP then, you know, where it said > [@](#): > > First, what can it possibly benefit you, plnnr, to stick your head into a lovefest for something that holds no interest for you, only to share the fact that it holds no interest for you? yes, you posted other shit as well that didn’t relate to my post. HOwever, as you’ll note, perhaps, my post quoted some one else in this thread. You see, while you may have penned the OP, other people have contributed, so not all comments that have been posted directly related completely to only your comments in the OP. Kinda takes us full circle, doesn’t it. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/64 "2003-05-30T23:22:38Z")
Note that the OP was NOT **What do you think of _Buffy the Vampire Slayer?_** The first four posters answered the OP; the fifth one did not. But this falls on this side of the “dont’ be a jerk” rule, as far as you’re concerned, wring? ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/65 "2003-05-30T23:27:17Z")
> [@](#): > > the fifth one did not. The fifth one is answering “none” ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/66 "2003-05-30T23:28:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lissener \* > \*\*I mean, OK, wait a minute, wring. You’re saying that this is perfectly acceptable Cafe Society etiquette: > > [ul] **OP: Who’s your favorite Buffy character?** > First post: _Spike!_ > Second post: _Willow!_ > Third post: _Anya!_ > Fourth post: _Percy!_ > Fifth post: _Buffy is the lamest show on TV. I don’t know how anyone can waste their time with that dreck._[/ul] \*\* I’m suggesting (hell I spelled it out for you) that if what happens is exactly what you posted here, merely one comment, y’all can freely :rolleyes: to your hearts content over Fifth poster. Perhaps they entered the thread to get an idea of what all the fuss was about, and merely found a bunch of fans chiming “oh, you remember when Willow did that thing that time? that was kewl” “yea, I thought so too dood” and posted an opposing view. the other posters then have options - ignore the comment or try and engage them “how much have you seen? did you turn it off after a minute or try a whole episode?” Either way, so what. Now, if what’s happening is that in addition to what you posted, poster five continues to interject “man they’re so lame” comments from time to time, I think you’ve got a valid complaint. 'cause that would be a hijacking of the thread. Some one merely posting an opposing thought isn’t, all by itself. MHO. Are you really looking for simply a gush fest about a movie/book/tv show? If so, I would suspect that there’s plenty of fan sites wherin you could get that. Again, if you’re only looking for ‘folks who mostly agree with me’ I’m thinking any forum in SDMB aint’ the place. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/67 "2003-05-30T23:33:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wring \* > \*\*so, then, **lissener** who posted the OP then, you know, where it said > > yes, you posted other shit as well that didn’t relate to my post. HOwever, as you’ll note, perhaps, my post quoted some one else in this thread. > > You see, while you may have penned the OP, other people have contributed, so not all comments that have been posted directly related completely to only your comments in the OP. > > Kinda takes us full circle, doesn’t it. \*\* So then . . . tell me if I have the sequence down: [ol][li]OP initiates a thread.[/li][li]Other dopers come in to participate.[/li][li]Some of those other dopers don’t quite follow the OP and stray off onto various tangents of varying irrelevance.[/li][li]wring comes in, follows a tangent off into absurdity.[/li][li]OP comes back in and points out that that was a tangent, wring, and not the point of the OP.[/li][li]wring says “duh, I know it was a tangent, and that it was irrelevant to the OP, and in fact displayed a basic misunderstanding of the OP. What’s your point?”[/ol][/li] Is that right? ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/68 "2003-05-30T23:47:25Z")
Are you really having this tough of a time of it? I disagreed w/your OP. It’s allowed, ya know. later on, I responded to some one else. quoted them, in fact. It’s allowed, ya know. Unless, of course, you own the message board. Got a problem with me, pit me, complain to the mods, whatever. Or, maybe, figure out that this is a public message board, and not everyone will agree with you. Some may even reply to others in the thread. gasp. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/69 "2003-05-30T23:55:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wring \* > \*\*I’m suggesting (hell I spelled it out for you) that if what happens is exactly what you posted here, merely one comment, y’all can freely :rolleyes: to your hearts content over Fifth poster. Perhaps they entered the thread to get an idea of what all the fuss was about, and merely found a bunch of fans chiming “oh, you remember when Willow did that thing that time? that was kewl” “yea, I thought so too dood” and posted an opposing view. > > the other posters then have options - ignore the comment or try and engage them “how much have you seen? did you turn it off after a minute or try a whole episode?” Either way, so what. > > Now, if what’s happening is that in addition to what you posted, poster five continues to interject “man they’re so lame” comments from time to time, I think you’ve got a valid complaint. 'cause that would be a hijacking of the thread. > > Some one merely posting an opposing thought isn’t, all by itself. MHO. > > Are you really looking for simply a gush fest about a movie/book/tv show? If so, I would suspect that there’s plenty of fan sites wherin you could get that. Again, if you’re only looking for ‘folks who mostly agree with me’ I’m thinking any forum in SDMB aint’ the place. \*\* Once again (_hello? is this thing on?_) you seem to be objecting to some kind of RULE I’m asking for; like I’m saying they should be banned for it or something. The entire point of the OP is simply to point out that it’s impolite. End of story. I get so fucking tired (I’d hand you a goat if I had any left) of people like you wring, who protest any criticism of someone’s words by spouting, “He has a right to express himself,” as if criticism equals censorship. Now who needs to get over themselves? ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/70 "2003-05-31T00:03:29Z")
Wring, what a fucking asshole you are. I have a perfect right to people in this thread from the perspective of my OP. If you’re going to object to something that was not part of my original point, I have every right to point that out; I don’t care WHO you’re replying to. If the thread goes astray, and you’re part of that tangent, and I point out, your responses above can basically be paraphrased “Well, Dooku started it.” Keep up with the conversation, asshole. If my original point is getting lost in tangents, I have every right to reiterate my point and explain where the tangents have missed the point. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/71 "2003-05-31T00:05:15Z")
Oh, so you don’t want them banned for posting an opposing thought, you just think they’re rude. hm. Nope, still doesn’t cut it. again, if you **only** want people posting who will agree with you, then perhaps SDMB isn’t for you. See, I’m disagreeing w/you here. I guess that makes me rude. I somehow believe that I’ll be ok. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/72 "2003-05-31T00:07:30Z")
Interesting, isn’t it that you’re the one saying ‘asshole’ etc. but **I’m** the one being rude, for responding to people who posted in this thread. Got it. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/73 "2003-05-31T00:08:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wring \* > \*\*. . . if you only want people posting who will agree with you, then perhaps SDMB isn’t for you. . . . \*\* Where the fuck did I ever say that, you fucking fuck? You want to respond to something I actually said, or you want to keep pulling your fever-dreamed versions of what you think I said out of your ass, and respond to them? You can have the rest of this debate just fine by yourself, muttering in the corner, talking to your fingers. I’ll just watch. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/74 "2003-05-31T00:14:18Z")
you seem to be blowing a gasket here. I haven’t a clue why. I disagree w/your OP. I also disagreed w/other posters in this thread. You disagree w/me, apparently think I’m an asshole etc. Fine by me. Put me on your ignore list, complain to the mods about me, whatever you wish to do. I do suggest though, that you calm down a bit. It’s a disagreement. I’ve not killed your puppy. I’ve not stolen your lollipop. I’ve not even called you names. I’ve merely disagreed with you. ---
**Author:** ![RickQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@RickQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickQ)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/75 "2003-05-31T00:37:42Z")
**wring** , to you is there a distinction between threads in Cafe Society that are clearly “fan fests” and those that are not? I am talking about the difference between something like “What do you think of X?” vs. “What’s your favorite overlooked Y?”. Secondly, to you is there no difference between posts that say something like “A sucks” and “Geez, only idiots watch/read/listen to B”? I am curious, because while I certainly agree that in most places on the SDMB, disagreement is fine, to me it seems pointless and rude to post “I hate this stuff you love” type posts (especially without valid criticisms) in lovefest threads in Cafe Society and even more pointless and rude to say things that are criticisms of those who enjoy something that you happen not to enjoy, rather than to criticise the artwork/movie/whatever. ---
**Author:** ![RickQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@RickQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickQ)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/76 "2003-05-31T00:39:13Z")
Sorry, the above is Brynda, not RickQ. I forgot to change the login. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/77 "2003-05-31T00:54:30Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by wring_ > Are you really looking for simply a gush fest about a movie/book/tv show? If so, I would suspect that there’s plenty of fan sites wherin you could get that. Again, if you’re only looking for ‘folks who mostly agree with me’ I’m thinking any forum in SDMB aint’ the place… Thing is, we have different threads for a reason: so that people can find subjects that interest them and participate in those. Why can’t you have gush fests alongside serious debate threads? There’s room enough in Cafe Society for both. I prefer the serious debate threads, too, but I’m not demanding that all threads in the forum be tailored to my personal likes and dislikes. Instead, I’m saying let people who want the gush threads have the gush threads, and let people who don’t like gush threads just not read the gush threads. ---
**Author:** ![Rhum\_Runner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rhum\_Runner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhum_Runner)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/78 "2003-05-31T01:11:12Z")
I’d just like to say, I hate Eminem. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/79 "2003-05-31T02:02:27Z")
It’s become statisticly impossible for someone to start a thread with the word “Matrix” in its title and not have someone come in at some point and say the matrix sucked. Heck, someone just posted a thread with a link to the Matrix Revolutions trailer. 2nd or 3rd response down? The Matrix sucked! ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376/80 "2003-05-31T05:33:40Z")
I recommend that everyone experiment with their own approved manner of interacting in real life. Say your down the pub and a group of drunken kickboxers are discussing kickboxing, a sport which you hate, either ignore them or butt in with “I don’t know why they allow kickboxing, only morons watch it” and afterwards assess how your choice was received. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pompous-negativity-in-cafe-society-threads/178376.md?page=5)