# Pontiac: I'm going to keep it simple here **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 27, 2001, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518 "2001-11-27T15:58:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Hibbins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ce73a5/32.png) [@Hibbins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hibbins)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/21 "2001-11-27T18:40:05Z")
> [@](#): > > Sorry to snap at you. Apology accepted. šŸ™‚ > [@](#): > > ā€¦it strikes me as a little odd that youā€™re kind of following behind me to see if Iā€™m breaking a little resolution I made. Sorry if I gave the impression that I was stalking. (Hope your not disappointed) šŸ˜‰ Actually I was just reading the posts from the bottom up, and had just recently read your ā€œelfā€ rant. > [@](#): > > Whatā€™s it to you? So Iā€™m a failure one day into the project. Iā€™m a failure at a lot of things. Failure? Didnā€™t mean to imply anything so extreme. Actually I just assumed deep down you never really had any intention of abstaining, that the statement was just flowery prose. ---
**Author:** ![skittles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@skittles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/skittles)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/22 "2001-11-27T18:53:25Z")
THANK YOU!!! Those have to be the worst commercials ever created!!! I canā€™t even stand to look at the TV when they are playingā€¦ Am I supposed to believe that stupid woman who buys that ridiculous hat only buys it cause they have the stupid car??? And then the guy HAS to call her DIXIE?!?!? Give me a break!!! Iā€™ve seen some stupid ads in my time - but hell - these HAVE to take the damn cake! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/23 "2001-11-27T19:02:50Z")
You know, the irony is that if you make a damn commercial stupid enough, everybodyā€™s going to talk about it. What other car company just got their name mentioned 25+ times and had their name viewed 300+ times on a public website? ---
**Author:** ![Yondan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/278dde/32.png) [@Yondan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yondan)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/24 "2001-11-27T19:19:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > **And yes, I am very thin skinned actually. Always have been.** And each day, Dopers in their teeming numbers drop to their knees and thank Cecil for the superlative thinness of your skin, for where would we be without it? Were your contiguous epidermal covering even the slightest bit thicker, your trials and tribulations amongst uncooperative doctors, fur-bearing nouveau-riche volunteers, and nazi granmas from hell would be that much less keenly felt, and we would all be deprived of the rants so righteously engendered thereby. May your skin never grow leathery, and may your wit grow ever more keen. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/25 "2001-11-27T19:25:03Z")
Well, Iā€™m trying not to post as much. Look how well Iā€™m succeeding! ---
**Author:** ![Macro\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Macro\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macro_Man)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/26 "2001-11-27T20:00:45Z")
What do you expect from the people that brought us the Pontiac Aztek: [http://www.internetautoguide.com/reviews/2001/2001\_Pontiac\_Aztek.html](http://www.internetautoguide.com/reviews/2001/2001_Pontiac_Aztek.html) Possibly the worst product miscalculation in auto history. Seriously. What would I do if someone handed me the keys to a Pontiac Aztek for a week? Nothing, during daylight hours. Itā€™d be in the garageā€¦ with the garage light offā€¦ under a tarp. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/27 "2001-11-27T20:08:08Z")
_Aaaaargh!_ Macro, that link was just plain cruel. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/28 "2001-11-27T20:22:10Z")
You notice that none of the commercials (or at least the ones Iā€™ve seen) have the people getting a Pontiac Aztek? The reason for that is because anyone forced to drive that damn thing would demand a bag for their head so that none of their friends would know it was them. Really, those commercials donā€™t make any sense. Its not like they were handed the keys to some fine Italian or German sportscar. Nope, theyā€™re handed the keys to a plastic cladded American car designed by people who havenā€™t been able to make a decent looking car in close to 20 years. Pontiac for years now has been a bit of a laughing stock of the automotive industry (Ever see some of their prototypes? Yuck!), this ad campaign merely cements that status. (And on Preview I see that **Macro Man** has stolen some of my thunder. Oh well.) ---
**Author:** ![Macro\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Macro\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macro_Man)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/29 "2001-11-27T20:41:02Z")
I actually am a big fan of ā€œdifferentā€ vehicles, what with every car looking like a well-worn bar of soap recently. And the Azteks probably are relatively functional, if less so than their SUV or minivan brethren at their chosen tasks. Howeverā€¦ I cannot imagine someone walking into a Pontiac dealership, seeing this vehicle, and thinking itā€™d be a good idea to buy one. Even if you like the styling, most nobody else does, so youā€™ll get royally screwed when you eventually get rid of it. Some used car lots may not even take them, if they donā€™t think they could sell it for a profit. Pontiac screwed up, and now the only time you see these vehicles, they have dealer tags on 'em (maybe they give 'em to their salespeople, I dunno). If anything, I wouldnā€™t mind waiting 3 years, buying one for $5,000, and being ā€œthat weirdo with that ugly carā€. But now what I think (on the rare occasion) I see one in the flesh is ā€œboy, s/he made a horrible financial decisionā€. ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/30 "2001-11-27T20:59:10Z")
two words for you, **Macro** : The Thing šŸ™‚ Good day! ---
**Author:** ![ARose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@ARose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ARose)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2001, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/31 "2001-11-28T03:12:34Z")
Preach it, **Tucker**. The problem is in the Pontiac. _Let ze Germanz make ze carz, ze Americanz are clueless_. Haha, I totally agree about those Azteks. Sick. Repulsive. Wretched, semen soaked poo-waffles on wheels. Ew! ~ARose ---
**Author:** ![CLedet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b487fb/32.png) [@CLedet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CLedet)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2001, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/32 "2001-11-28T03:20:47Z")
What happens if one of those idiots runs down a kid in a school zone with that new Pontiac? What a way to end a dumb ass ad campaign. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2001, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/33 "2001-11-28T03:52:54Z")
Yeah, how about the keys to a 67 Shelby GT? [http://formen.ign.com/news/21644.html](http://formen.ign.com/news/21644.html) Hereā€™s what Iā€™d do: Screw my husband on the hood. Hump the stick shift. Repeatedly. Drive it all over the place like a crazy bitch. Return it all nasty, sticky, and worked like a rented mule. Zette ---
**Author:** ![Etaoin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Etaoin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Etaoin)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2001, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/34 "2001-11-28T17:28:10Z")
Bah! GM hasnā€™t made a decent Pontiac since 1954. If theyā€™d stick an Indian head on the hood that lights at night and built the Aztec with the '53 and '54 Wurlitzer dashboard, theyā€™d fly off the shelves. ---
**Author:** ![keithnmick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90db22/32.png) [@keithnmick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keithnmick)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2001, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/35 "2001-11-28T17:49:23Z")
If someone gave me the keys to a Pontiac, Iā€™d drive it over to my brother in laws place and spend the week exchanging all of itā€™s components for the ones on his 2 year old Grand Am POS. Heā€™s been trying to get GM to buy the car back as a lemon. Either that or Iā€™d do some serious donuts in the parking lot in front of the cameras. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2001, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/36 "2001-11-28T18:14:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by El\_Kabong \* > \*\*Well, if someone gave me a Pontiac for a week, the first thing Iā€™d do is take a baseball bat and bust out those goddam stupid driving lights that every other Pontiac driver blinds me with when Iā€™m out on the road at night. > > If it ainā€™t foggy out, TURN THEM OFF, people. > > Thank you for your attention. \*\* If you mean the Daytime Running Lights, they are automatic. In my 1998 [sub]Firebird[/sub] and the later models, you cannot turn them off. [sub]NOTE: I did not buy it new, I wanted a Mustang, but they donā€™t have any freakin headroom for my 6ā€™2" high head. ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2001, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/37 "2001-11-28T18:26:55Z")
Zette, No cite? ā˜¹ _sniff_ Iā€™m hurt. To quote a prof of mine, ā€œNo cite, no cookie bad proto-scientist.ā€ Anyhoo, to throw my two cents into the whole car marketing crap. Iā€™m in favor of including nutritional values for each car with the gas milage sticker. Let us examine this closely: How many people go looking for a car,find one they like that is safe (LOL!) and in their price range. Judging from the number of people driving 59 bigillion metric tons worth of vehicle around people donā€™t give a damn about the gas milage of cars. Some how I donā€™t see someone buying a car, stopping and seeing the car next to it that offers 1 mpg better eff. than the one they want and not buying the car they want. ā€œBloodly hell! The car I want is CRAP! IT ONLY GETS 32 MILES TO THE GALLON! I canā€™t take it! Must buy car with 33 miles to the gallon! Think of the enviroment (cut to plastic grocery bag flying across lot ala tumbleweed)!!! I MUST SAVE GAS! PLEASE GOD SAVE ME FOR CONSIDERING THE CAR WITH THE WORSE FUEL EFFECIENCY! Iā€™m a terrible human being. I deserve to be punished! Punish me hard!ā€ Granted itā€™d be funny as all crap to watch someone do that at a car lot. That and lets face it. Iā€™d be really amused if I managed to create a niche industry (determinin the caloric intake of 1 serving of vehicle). Iā€™d finally meet another lab tech with a worse job. Yeah, I only have maybe 20 min of work to do today, and thats including the staff meeting. * * * The difference between someone evil and me is that Iā€™m not deliberatly evil. That is to say, the evil I practice isnā€™t truely harmfull, its more of the sort of low grade malevolence that tarnishes the souls of those around you. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2001, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/38 "2001-11-28T18:29:18Z")
> [@](#): > > If you mean the Daytime Running Lights, they are automatic. In my 1998 Firebird and the later models, you cannot turn them off. No, Iā€™m referring to the low-mounted auxiliary fog/driving lamps that seem to be standard issue on the larger Pontiacs. It is pointless to use them under normal night driving conditions, due to their short range, and the Pontiac versions seem to have an especially wide beam spread which tends to blind oncoming drivers at night. While many cars come with driving lights these days (my Subaru for example), and many people abuse their use, for some reason every GODDAM STUPID BLOODY PONTIAC DRIVER IN CHRISTENDOM (must calm down) seems to leave them on all the time, even in heavy traffic. ---
**Author:** ![MarkF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MarkF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MarkF)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2001, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/39 "2001-11-28T18:53:56Z")
> [@](#): > > Hump the stick shift. Repeatedly. Now, where _are_ the ad copywriters when you **really** need them? "Ladies, donā€™t like heights? Not gettinā€™ any at home? _This_ lā€™il baby is all you need šŸ˜ƒ " šŸ˜ƒ šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Yondan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/278dde/32.png) [@Yondan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yondan)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2001, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518/40 "2001-11-29T02:00:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by UncleBill \* > \*\*[sub]NOTE: I did not buy it new, I wanted a Mustang, but they donā€™t have any freakin headroom for my 6ā€™2" high head. \*\* Jesus Christ! Your head is over six feet high? How tall is the rest of you? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pontiac-im-going-to-keep-it-simple-here/95518.md?page=3)