# Poop Smears Next To The Toilet Paper Holder

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [August 19, 2005, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772 "2005-08-19T17:43:13Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/1 "2005-08-19T17:43:13Z")

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I was just pinching a loaf in the company restroom. I’ve been taking Sudafed for a few days, and it tends to dry you out and slow down the Hershey express, so I got bored and idly stared at the toilet paper holder.

On the partition wall near the toilet paper, I saw several dark-brownish scuffs that I am pretty sure are poop smears. Being scientific, after I got done sending the Browns to the Super Bowl, I investigated the other stalls and found similar contamination. Poop. Right there on the wall.

What gives? Are people wiping once, getting their hands messy, and then reaching for more T.P.? I have to say that since attaining the age of 6, I never (well, hardly ever) get anything on my hands when I wipe, and if I do, it’s certainly not enough that it would transfer onto anything I touched, especially not in the quantities I saw today. And isn’t it common courtesy that if you do accidentally spread the peanut butter, to take another piece of toilet paper and clean it up? Golly and jeepers, this is a major scientific institution, not a downtown bus depot.

I’d be interested in whether this occurs in other office restrooms, and whether people find this surprising or disgusting.

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**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/2 "2005-08-19T17:52:13Z")

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Disgusting? Yes. Surprising? No.

Let’s say your average person “pinches a loaf” once a day. Do you know what that means?

It means it’s someone else’s problem.

I’m done for the day…and if nothing else I’m done for the day _here at work_. Therefore, some PBJ will have to clean it up tonight.

When I come back in tomorrow it’ll be magically clean again! Yay!

The person doing that is not going to have to clean it up, and since they’ve already done their business they won’t have to come back in again and see what they’ve done.

Never underestimate how self-centered people can be.

-Joe, insights into shitty human nature

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**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/3 "2005-08-19T18:07:56Z")

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> [@Merijeek](#):
>
> Disgusting? Yes. Surprising? No.
> 
> Let’s say your average person “pinches a loaf” once a day. Do you know what that means?

Not enough fiber in their diet?

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**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/4 "2005-08-19T18:08:02Z")

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Men are just disgusting. Just a few days ago, I went into the bathroom, opened the stall door and noticed shit on the toilet seat. I’m talking about an actual piece of shit. It stunk so bad that I couldn’t even use any of the adjacent stalls. I had to go to another floor. Who are these people? I’m anti-death penalty, but I’m willing to make an exception for these scumbags.

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**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/5 "2005-08-19T18:12:24Z")

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We oughta just admit that people are disgusting since one day at work I went to the restroom and entered my usual handicapped stall and found some disgustingness that I sould probably spoiler-box.

This was in the women’s restroom, in which I use the handicapped stall because the others are so small you have to straddle the toilet to get the door open or closed. So, if you really are sure you won’t get grossed out:

Some disgusting, nasty, crotch-rotten cunt had actually used a used tampon to write on the wall, creating nasty, unsanitary probably disease-ridden abstract art in hues of red. Then the sick twat left the tampon floating in the fucking toilet.

Yeah. Told ya. Disgustingness knows no gender.

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**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/6 "2005-08-19T18:16:02Z")

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> [@Jackknifed Juggernaut](#):
>
> Men are just disgusting.

Sadly, it’s not just men.

There is a certain employee here (a woman) who is in the midst of a real unfortunate situation. She’s been receiving radiation treatments for cancer. Unfortunately, it’s wreaking havoc on her system, as you can well imagine.

You wouldn’t believe the state of the ladies room. Smears of shit. On the floor. I swear to you on my life I’m not kidding. Our facilities guy is getting complaints, and has to figure out how to handle the situation. I mean, what do you say?

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**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/7 "2005-08-19T18:25:08Z")

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Makes me glad that all I have to deal with is the mysterious booger wiper, and the Victor “what the fuck did you eat” diet.

My wife used to work for a company where one of the head executives would poop on the furniture in hotel rooms. The hotels would always charge them exorbanant prices for the clean up, and the company always paid.

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**Author:** ![VegemiteMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/df788c/32.png) [@VegemiteMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VegemiteMoose)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/8 "2005-08-19T18:29:10Z")

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> [@NurseCarmen](#):
>
> My wife used to work for a company where one of the head executives would poop on the furniture in hotel rooms. The hotels would always charge them exorbanant prices for the clean up, and the company always paid.

Ha-ha, ewwww.

Is there a word meaning “laughed in disgust”?

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**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/9 "2005-08-19T18:33:42Z")

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[Speaking of women in the john.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6473797&postcount=1)

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**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/10 "2005-08-19T18:36:55Z")

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> [@Merijeek](#):
>
> Therefore, some PBJ will have to clean it up tonight.

Peanut butter & jelly?

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**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/11 "2005-08-19T18:45:24Z")

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> [@Contrapuntal](#):
>
> [Speaking of women in the john.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6473797&postcount=1)

Man, that was beautiful. Thanks for the link.

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**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/12 "2005-08-19T18:50:39Z")

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> [@Biffy the Elephant Shrew](#):
>
> Peanut butter & jelly?

Poor Bloody Janitor. Adapted from ‘Poor Bloody Infantry’.

-Joe

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**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/13 "2005-08-19T19:00:08Z")

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I got so caught up in the above link, I forgot to address the OP.

I’ve been taking shits all my life, and I’ve never (well, since being potty trained) had the occasion to have shit on my hand when I went for more TP. I can’t even imagine the scenario where I might have shit on my hand when I went for TP. I’ve poked a finger through now and then, but you can always get some fresh TP with your other hand and clean that little dollop off. No need to wipe it off on the wall before getting a fresh batch.

I think it must be deliberately placed there by a sick fucker, or somebody is wiping with their hand and using the TP to wipe their hand, or something.

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**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/14 "2005-08-19T19:20:43Z")

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Oh.

I thought the thread title was “Pope Smears Next to the Toilet Paper Holder.”

Do carry on.

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**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/15 "2005-08-19T19:31:06Z")

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Okay, how many read the title as:

“ **Pope** smears next to the toilet paper holder”  
Just me then?

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**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/16 "2005-08-19T19:33:42Z")

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I’m really glad the janitors at my work clean the bathrooms at least four times a day.

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**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/17 "2005-08-19T19:40:31Z")

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> [@Contrapuntal](#):
>
> Not enough fiber in their diet?

Actually, i’m a vegetarian who gets heaps of fiber, and i can usually get by on one big dump per day.

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**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/18 "2005-08-19T20:25:50Z")

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I have to agree that women are discusting too, at least in public toilets. I’ve been to many of my cow orkers homes, and their bathrooms are neat with all sorts of fluffy guest towels, vanity soaps, potpourri containers, etc. Why these same women make such a mess of a room they don’t have to clean is beyond me. Wait. I do get it. It’s because _they_ don’t have to clean it. But it’s still discusting!

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**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/19 "2005-08-19T20:33:04Z")

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> [@Fish](#):
>
> Oh.
> 
> I thought the thread title was “Pope Smears Next to the Toilet Paper Holder.”
> 
> Do carry on.

> [@QuickSilver](#):
>
> Okay, how many read the title as:
> 
> “ **Pope** smears next to the toilet paper holder”  
> Just me then?

I dunno. I got **Pap** Smears. :eek:

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/20 "2005-08-19T21:50:26Z")

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> [@Duke of Rat](#):
>
> I got so caught up in the above link, I forgot to address the OP.
> 
> I’ve been taking shits all my life, and I’ve never (well, since being potty trained) had the occasion to have shit on my hand when I went for more TP.

Well goody for you Mr. Fancy Pants!

Must you rub it in our faces?

-Joe, no he din’t!

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