# Poop Smears Next To The Toilet Paper Holder **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 19, 2005, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772 "2005-08-19T17:43:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/21 "2005-08-19T22:12:40Z")
Me too about the “Pope smears” but at least I’m glad I didn’t read it as “PAP smears”. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/22 "2005-08-19T22:33:13Z")
**Catsix:** what did she write? ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/23 "2005-08-19T23:36:47Z")
An addition to **catsix** ’s post: When I was in high school, a very used tampon was discovered in one of the drinking fountains. Ooo, and one time on a trip through Virginia I encountered a toilet at a Welcome Center that was freakin’ _drenched_ in blood. The water was deep red, the seat was covered with blobs of blood, the floor and walls were spattered and smeared…I honestly believe some poor woman had a miscarriage in that stall and just left. ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/24 "2005-08-19T23:43:12Z")
You all would hate what my friend did back in Jr. High. He managed to pull the toilet paper (unripped) over to the bowl; wipe himself (somewhat) and then rerolled the shit laden paper; for some hapless soul to discover. I guess I’m an accessory since I did nothing to stop him. ---
**Author:** ![ErinPuff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dbc845/32.png) [@ErinPuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ErinPuff)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/25 "2005-08-20T00:22:58Z")
> [@Jeep's Phoenix](#): > > Ooo, and one time on a trip through Virginia I read that, predictably, as “…trip through vagina.” ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/26 "2005-08-20T00:27:45Z")
> [@Jeep's Phoenix](#): > > An addition to **catsix** ’s post: > > When I was in high school, a very used tampon was discovered in one of the drinking fountains. > > Ooo, and one time on a trip through Virginia > > I encountered a toilet at a Welcome Center that was freakin’ _drenched_ in blood. The water was deep red, the seat was covered with blobs of blood, the floor and walls were spattered and smeared…I honestly believe some poor woman had a miscarriage in that stall and just left. Miscarriage! Hah! (I still haven’t eaten dinner. I think I’m either going to go for a peanut-butter sandwich or some… anything with ketchup. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/27 "2005-08-20T00:34:48Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > My wife used to work for a company where one of the head executives would poop on the furniture in hotel rooms. I’m gonna crosspost this to another thread: [Should CEOs be screened for psychopathic behavior?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=330982) Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/28 "2005-08-20T01:56:20Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > Some disgusting, nasty, crotch-rotten cunt had actually used a used tampon to write on the wall, creating nasty, unsanitary probably disease-ridden abstract art in hues of red. > [@SusanStoHelit](#): > > What did she write? My immediate thought was she must have run out and was asking someone to get her another pack. Sounds irrational, I know, but it hits some people like that. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/29 "2005-08-20T02:03:39Z")
To add a postscript (I thought of using red but in the interests of good taste opted agianst it), I’m glad to say that this thread has found its place in the natural order of things, nestling up against “My bathroom, it is a showplace” in the New Posts forum. ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/30 "2005-08-20T02:17:40Z")
> [@Jeep's Phoenix](#): > > Ooo, and one time on a trip through Virginia > > I encountered a toilet at a Welcome Center that was freakin’ _drenched_ in blood. The water was deep red, the seat was covered with blobs of blood, the floor and walls were spattered and smeared…I honestly believe some poor woman had a miscarriage in that stall and just left. Actually, I can reassure you that probably wasn’t it. TMI spoiler: Some women are just very, very heavy bleeders. Very annoying but not dangerous. And it’s pretty easy to accidentally hit a clot that causes everything to unexpectedly start flowing. It’d be even worse if you were say on a long car trip and so the blood was building up as you sat. I’ve had it happen at home which was icky enough but I had the supplies to clean it up. If it ever happened in a public, particularly some place like a Welcome Center that may not have attendents to notify, I’d probably be beyond embarrased but wouldn’t have any choice but to leave it. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/31 "2005-08-20T02:34:11Z")
> [@tremorviolet](#): > > I’d probably be beyond embarrased but wouldn’t have any choice but to leave it. Wouldn’t you mop it up the best you can with toilet paper? ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/32 "2005-08-20T02:41:20Z")
> [@roger thornhill](#): > > Wouldn’t you mop it up the best you can with toilet paper? OK, yeah, I probably would to some extent. And I’d at least flush the toilet. But when I was sixteen, I’d probably just flee the women’s room. My point wasn’t actually to make excuses for the mess but to point out that it probably wasn’t a miscarriage. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/33 "2005-08-20T03:59:34Z")
Thats nuthin! I just spent the summer working maintenance at a Boy Scout camp. I have seen shit (literally and otherwise) you cannot imagine. I never realized before I started working there that the following things are amusing to 11-18 year old boys: -attempting to flush your own clothes. I have seen entire outfits in the toilet bowl. Makes me wonder what the hell these kids wore out of the bathroom and back to their campsite. -flushing pine cones, whole rolls of toilet paper, and other non-flushable items. -defecating onto floors, into sinks and urinals, and other places where it doesn’t belong. this one deserves a spoiler to avoid upsetting the squeamish: -getting a group of boys together and seeing just how much shit can go into a toilet bowl. I’ve seen shit piled so high the kids had to have been standing on the toilet tank and squatting facing backwards to avoid touching the pile as they added to it. and many more scenes too terrifying to share. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/34 "2005-08-20T04:23:12Z")
Luckily, I work the night shift. So by the time I come in, the second shift cleaning crew has taken care of everything. This leaves me all night to throw poo all over the place! It’s like my very own poo paradise. I kid, I kid! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/35 "2005-08-20T21:31:53Z")
Every time I see the thread title it looks like a country song to me: \*Poop smears next to the toilet-paper holder Pee all over the seat Dried boogers stickin’ to the back of the door Pubic hair at my feet There’s a used tampon on top of the tank Spunk floatin’ in the bowl If I survive this, I’m gonna have to thank the Center for Disease Control CHORUS: ‘Cuz NOTHIN’ upsets Like filthy goddamned toilets NO emp-ty threats You’re gonna have some regrets You dirty motherfuckers gonna lick that puppy clean.\* ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/36 "2005-08-20T22:58:09Z")
> [@tremorviolet](#): > > OK, yeah, I probably would to some extent. And I’d at least flush the toilet. But when I was sixteen, I’d probably just flee the women’s room. My point wasn’t actually to make excuses for the mess but to point out that it probably wasn’t a miscarriage. Coulda been, though–I had a miscarriage a year and a half ago that left my bathroom looking like a slaughterhouse. I’m just glad it happened at home. ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/37 "2005-08-20T23:03:12Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Every time I see the thread title it looks like a country song to me: > > \*Poop smears next to the toilet-paper holder > Pee all over the seat > Dried boogers stickin’ to the back of the door > Pubic hair at my feet > > There’s a used tampon on top of the tank > Spunk floatin’ in the bowl > If I survive this, I’m gonna have to thank > the Center for Disease Control > > CHORUS: > > ‘Cuz NOTHIN’ upsets > Like filthy goddamned toilets > NO emp-ty threats > You’re gonna have some regrets > You dirty motherfuckers gonna lick that puppy clean.\* I’m posting this next to the toilet paper holders _and_ sending it to Nashville Pussy for their next album. ---
**Author:** ![ReuvenB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@ReuvenB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReuvenB)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/38 "2005-08-21T00:44:42Z")
This summer, working maintenance at a sleepaway camp, I saw things in the bathroom that made me re-examine my view of God. Aerosol poop: This individual must literally have an aerosol spray attached to their pooper. Not only was there feces coating the entire bowl, but also a big log in the center, surrounded by toilet paper, clogging the toilet. In addition, there was a fine poop mist in the stall. While plunging, I had to run out of the stall and dry retch because the smell was so revolting. The artist: Someone drew a heart _with their shit_ on the wall. It reeked. An interesting choice of medium to say the least. Either the individual was trying to be ironic, or just was resourceful. Both of these were found in the girls’ bathroom, by the way. The boys wasn’t much better, though. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/39 "2005-08-21T08:29:53Z")
> [@XWalrus2](#): > > Both of these were found in the girls’ bathroom, by the way. The boys wasn’t much better, though. Of course. All us sanitation engineers know that boys can only draw phalluses. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772/40 "2005-08-21T08:36:57Z")
Aw, geez…I read the thread title as “\*\*PAP \*\* smears next to the dunny roll” and thought it was a \*wonderful \* idea, and why somebody would be pitting such an inovative self-service gynaecological test, available to all who spend a penny in the loo. I’m so disappointed. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poop-smears-next-to-the-toilet-paper-holder/317772.md?page=3)