# Poorly Conceived Messages From Management, Part the One Millionth and One **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 17, 2008, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-messages-from-management-part-the-one-millionth-and-one/468447 "2008-10-17T21:33:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Shecky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@Shecky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shecky)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-messages-from-management-part-the-one-millionth-and-one/468447/21 "2008-10-20T12:31:22Z")
The asshats that say there’s always enough time to fix it are allso the same ones that expound on planning and teamwork, but never get around to doing either. ---
**Author:** ![Some\_FNG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/48db29/32.png) [@Some\_FNG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Some_FNG)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-messages-from-management-part-the-one-millionth-and-one/468447/22 "2008-10-20T14:21:38Z")
The corporation that I work for used to have this loverly motto on all of their internal correspondence “ **Profit, Product, People** ”. I know employees are necessary evils in the modern world, but jeez… lets put it writing!:dubious: ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-messages-from-management-part-the-one-millionth-and-one/468447/23 "2008-10-20T14:41:06Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Maybe they’re just Zep fans. Memorandum to all employees: It has come to management’s attention that morale has dropped in the woodland areas surrounding the manufacturing plant. This is affecting our productivity. Sales are down 23%, as we are unable to meet our quotas. We are therefore asking for a 42% increase of jocularity in the affected sites, so that the forests will echo with laughter. Sincerely, Robert Plant Manager ---
**Author:** ![Sky\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Sky\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sky_King)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-messages-from-management-part-the-one-millionth-and-one/468447/24 "2008-10-20T16:28:35Z")
“Work smarter, not harder”, which means, of course, “We’re going to try to force you to work much, much harder.” ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-messages-from-management-part-the-one-millionth-and-one/468447/25 "2008-10-20T16:46:30Z")
> [@newcrasher](#): > > or, “your wife’s cunt’s ugly”. > > I much prefer being more direct. You’ve spent to much time there. Aim for the hair. It’s the only target on the bosses wife. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-messages-from-management-part-the-one-millionth-and-one/468447/26 "2008-10-20T17:11:27Z")
> [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](#): > > Reminds me of keychains that were handed out at a former place of employment that said “Do It Right the First Time.” I kept expecting to flip it over and see “Or Else.” That would have been pretty funny. Even funnier if you flipped it over and it said “DO IT [del]WRIGHTE[/del] – oh crap (SEE OTHER SIDE)”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-messages-from-management-part-the-one-millionth-and-one/468447.md?page=1)