# Poorly conceived movie and/or SF inventions/technology **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 25, 2006, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916 "2006-10-25T23:45:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2006, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/1 "2006-10-25T23:45:46Z")
Darth Vader should remote-strangle the R&D team that came up with the imperial walkers in _The Empire Strikes Back._ They’re obviously designed for no purpose but to get knocked down. There’s a very good reason why real-life tanks run on treads and have the lowest center of gravity possible. Got any? ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2006, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/2 "2006-10-25T23:59:50Z")
The detectors that use “microcurrents of air” to detect the intruder in **Alien**. This means, whenever you moved it, it would detect something. Not the stupidest thing in the movie, but pretty poorly done. Also, the self-destruct device in that movie (and, for that matter, in many other films). It’s on the bridge. Why not put it near the escape ship? That way you can set it and get the hell out of there before the ship blows up. Also, for that matter, why is it easier to activate than to turn off? ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/3 "2006-10-26T00:07:07Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] Darth Vader should remote-strangle the R&D team that came up with the imperial walkers in _The Empire Strikes Back._ They’re obviously designed for no purpose but to get knocked down. There’s a very good reason why real-life tanks run on treads and have the lowest center of gravity possible. Got any? [/QUOTE] Anthropomorphic tanks in general (eg Robotech, Mechwarrior, etc…) are a bad idea. ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/4 "2006-10-26T00:46:19Z")
Star Fleet ships have bridge seats with no seat belts. Yet, every time something happens, bridge personnel are getting tossed hither and yon – on every single series and movie that’s been made. All of those “amazing” Star Fleet engineers, and not one thought to buckle up? ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/5 "2006-10-26T00:53:02Z")
[QUOTE=Lightray] Star Fleet ships have bridge seats with no seat belts. Yet, every time something happens, bridge personnel are getting tossed hither and yon – on every single series and movie that’s been made. All of those “amazing” Star Fleet engineers, and not one thought to buckle up? [/QUOTE] The tactical console on the Enterprise-D was the worst. Worf has to stand for an entire shift, and if an intruder appears on the bridge he has to hurdle that railing to get to the front of the bridge. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/6 "2006-10-26T00:53:09Z")
[QUOTE=Lightray] Star Fleet ships have bridge seats with no seat belts. Yet, every time something happens, bridge personnel are getting tossed hither and yon – on every single series and movie that’s been made. [/quote] Don’t forget the lack of surge protectors on all those bridge controls – one hit and it’s fireworks time! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/7 "2006-10-26T00:54:52Z")
“Imperial Battleship, stop the flow of time!” From [Starcrash](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079946/). Handy, that. My friends and I fell out of our seats laughing the first time we heard that line. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/8 "2006-10-26T00:57:00Z")
Starship bridges that are on the front or top of the ship, instead of being deep inside the vessel; often with _windows_. The majority of sci-fi hand weapons, which are actually inferior to modern ones. From _Independence Day_ : - Miles wide ships with giant cannon that can do what we can do with a relatively miniscule nuclear warhead, and do it faster and more places at once. - Computer security so bad that primitive humans can hack them - A moon sized ship so flimsy that a mere nuke can destroy it. - Miles-wide warships so flimsy that air to air missles can seriously damage them. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/9 "2006-10-26T00:57:58Z")
[QUOTE=Lightray] Star Fleet ships have bridge seats with no seat belts. Yet, every time something happens, bridge personnel are getting tossed hither and yon – on every single series and movie that’s been made. [/QUOTE] Also, the bridge on the Enterprise appeared to be at the center of the top level of the saucer section. Why not bury the bridge in the ship’s interior, where it would be less vulnerable? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/10 "2006-10-26T01:01:45Z")
[QUOTE=Lightray] Star Fleet ships have bridge seats with no seat belts. Yet, every time something happens, bridge personnel are getting tossed hither and yon – on every single series and movie that’s been made. All of those “amazing” Star Fleet engineers, and not one thought to buckle up? [/QUOTE] As has been pointed out before, it makes no sense that anything that happens to the ship can jar the crew out of their seats anyway. To be able to accelerate the way it does without squishing everybody against the bulkheads, a starship must have not only an artificial gravity but a complete inertia-dampening field. Unless that fails, nothing the ship goes through should be noticeable from the inside, except through monitors and readouts. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/11 "2006-10-26T02:02:44Z")
I think the percieved problem with the bridge section being on the top or front of the spaceship, and therefore vulnerable to attack, tends to ignore the fact that generally these vessels have ultratech-level energy shielding and exotic materials to defend against similarly ultratech-level weapons systems. Without such shielding, presumably any hit from one of these ultratech weapons could knock out the bridge no matter how deeply it’s buried. So ultimately it really doesn’t matter where the bridge is located. Guns vs. swords = guns win. I’m sorry, but that’s how it works. I don’t care how glowy the swords are. ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/12 "2006-10-26T02:12:26Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] - Miles-wide warships so flimsy that air to air missles can seriously damage them. [/QUOTE] - Air to air missles on F/A-18s that have to acquire a lock on a target that fills the entire horizon. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/13 "2006-10-26T02:54:23Z")
[QUOTE=RikWriter] Anthropomorphic tanks in general (eg Robotech, Mechwarrior, etc…) are a bad idea. [/QUOTE] Well, they would have much greater mobility at the sacrifice of just about everything else. Any race that uses edged weapons for anything other than ceremonial purposes - Jedi, Klingons, the assorted wackos from Chronicles of Riddick, Farscape, Dune, etc, etc. Cinema doesn’t quite capture how useless a sword is against an enemy that can hit you from 300 yards away. The Enterprise class of ships from ST: TNG is the Ford Pinto of starships Landing bays that require fighter aircraft to careen into essentially what is an open garage door at 10000 mph ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/14 "2006-10-26T02:59:22Z")
The Tholian web on the original _Star Trek_. This was a force field that could potentially surround an enemy starship. Except it took several hours to complete the web. How effective is a weapon system that requires your opponent’s ship to sit motionless for several hours while taking no offensive actions? ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/15 "2006-10-26T03:15:06Z")
[QUOTE=msmith537] The Enterprise class of ships from ST: TNG is the Ford Pinto of starships. [/QUOTE] Isn’t it, though. Of the Galaxy-class ships we saw on the show, only the Enterprise didn’t explode within minutes of appearing on-screen. The Galaxy and the Yamato were toast, and I seem to recall at least one other that didn’t make it past the second commercial break (Challenger, maybe?) ---
**Author:** ![Jim\_s\_Son](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19adc/32.png) [@Jim\_s\_Son](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jim_s_Son)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/16 "2006-10-26T03:28:33Z")
The Cone of Silence on “Get Smart”. How many times did those holographic decks break on the Star Trek spinoffs? No liability lawyers in the future? ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/17 "2006-10-26T03:32:59Z")
[QUOTE=Jim’s Son] How many times did those holographic decks break on the Star Trek spinoffs? No liability lawyers in the future? [/QUOTE] They’re all busy with the product liability suits emanating from Starfleet’s Magical Electrocuting Dashboards. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/18 "2006-10-26T04:13:03Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] As has been pointed out before, it makes no sense that anything that happens to the ship can jar the crew out of their seats anyway. To be able to accelerate the way it does without squishing everybody against the bulkheads, a starship must have not only an artificial gravity but a complete inertia-dampening field. Unless that fails, nothing the ship goes through should be noticeable from the inside, except through monitors and readouts. [/QUOTE] They do have inertial dampeners. I guess they just aren’t quite good enough or something. Of course, it’s much more dramatic having the crew being thrown around, isn’t it? Really, that explains so much about Trek tech it isn’t funny. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/19 "2006-10-26T04:54:11Z")
On a higher level than such common techincal flaws, you have whole concepts that make no sense. Like in the early _Star Wars_ films, C3PO was mentioned as a “translation 'droid\*”. In an Imperial government system! Sorry, but empires don’t spend money designing a translator – all the conquered peoples learn to speak the Imperial language, or else. This overriding of the local culture is a hallmark of an Empire, as opposed to a Federation or a monolithic government. Look at human history, for example: anybody who dealt with the Roman Empire had to learn to speak Latin. That’s the way Empires work. But _Star Wars_ ignored this. \*He/it was referred to as a 'droid, though appearing to be completely a robot rather than an android. ---
**Author:** ![Xan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ac8455/32.png) [@Xan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xan)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916/20 "2006-10-26T05:13:09Z")
[QUOTE=t-bonham@scc.net] On a higher level than such common techincal flaws, you have whole concepts that make no sense. Like in the early _Star Wars_ films, C3PO was mentioned as a “translation 'droid\*”. In an Imperial government system! Sorry, but empires don’t spend money designing a translator – all the conquered peoples learn to speak the Imperial language, or else. This overriding of the local culture is a hallmark of an Empire, as opposed to a Federation or a monolithic government. Look at human history, for example: anybody who dealt with the Roman Empire had to learn to speak Latin. That’s the way Empires work. But _Star Wars_ ignored this. \*He/it was referred to as a 'droid, though appearing to be completely a robot rather than an android. [/QUOTE] C3PO was built before the Empire was even around. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-conceived-movie-and-or-sf-inventions-technology/377916.md?page=2)