# Poorly thought out superpowers **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 28, 2008, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948 "2008-12-28T10:09:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/1 "2008-12-28T10:09:32Z")
There have been threads before on lame super powers, but what about super powers that, if they were real, would be dangerous to those who wield them? For my example, as cheesy as it was, I loved [Misfits of Science](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMXzG1cQHcg). In it, is a character John “Johnny B” Bukowski. He can absorb electricity and shoot it out of his hands, or use it for super speed. However, he cannot come into contact with water, as it will short him out. Hmmm…no water contact… Doesn’t that mean he’ll die of dehydration? So, does anybody else have any other examples? ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/2 "2008-12-28T10:16:09Z")
Aquaman springs to mind, off hand. Really… ? _I swim real real fast and talk to aquatic animals (not just fishes!)._ ---
**Author:** ![DataZak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@DataZak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DataZak)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/3 "2008-12-28T10:37:26Z")
Ant-Man. He can shrink to ant size and communicate with them. Whoop-dee-do. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/4 "2008-12-28T10:45:39Z")
> [@DataZak](#): > > Ant-Man. He can shrink to ant size and communicate with them. Whoop-dee-do. He also gets ridiculously strong and durable because his mass stays the same which makes everything become incredibly dense iirc, which would make the powers a bit more desirable. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/5 "2008-12-28T11:48:02Z")
I imagine that having a real-life Midas Touch would get extremely annoying after a while. Sure, being able to turn things into solid gold just by touching them is great. But it does make it a bit hard to watch TV or use a computer or spend any intimate time with your significant other. And you’d be devaluing gold from creating so much, too, so eventually you’d be turning everything you touched into a worthless yellow metal. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/6 "2008-12-28T11:48:05Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > In it, is a character John “Johnny B” Bukowski. He can absorb electricity and shoot it out of his hands, or use it for super speed. However, he cannot come into contact with water, as it will short him out. > > Hmmm…no water contact… Doesn’t that mean he’ll die of dehydration? Even if he manages to somehow get around that (like, maybe he can’t have water externally but if he drinks through a straw he’s okay?) at the very least he’s not going to have much of a social life, given that without bathing he’s going to smell fairly rank. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/7 "2008-12-28T11:53:16Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > I imagine that having a real-life Midas Touch would get extremely annoying after a while. > > Sure, being able to turn things into solid gold just by touching them is great. But it does make it a bit hard to watch TV or use a computer or spend any intimate time with your significant other. > > And you’d be devaluing gold from creating so much, too, so eventually you’d be turning everything you touched into a worthless yellow metal. Sorry to keep debating, I promise to leave it alone for a while after this, But Martini, dear, methinks that was the point of the myth ;). (Well, also to explain how the river Pactolus became so rich in gold, but a big plot point is Midas turning his daughter to gold and saying “screw this”.) ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/8 "2008-12-28T12:07:12Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > Sorry to keep debating, I promise to leave it alone for a while after this, > > But Martini, dear, methinks that was the point of the myth ;). (Well, also to explain how the river Pactolus became so rich in gold, but a big plot point is Midas turning his daughter to gold and saying “screw this”.) This is true, but usually when people speak of having “The Midas Touch” they’re talking about having l33t Business Acumen or something. Thus, you’d have a superhero with an _actual_ Midas Touch (“Fear my Golden Fist of Doom, Evildoer!”) who discovers- as did the original Midas, way back in the day- that it’s actually a gigantic pain in the ass and not nearly as cool as it sounds. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/9 "2008-12-28T12:23:18Z")
> [@Trocisp](#): > > Aquaman springs to mind, off hand. > Really… ? _I swim real real fast and talk to aquatic animals (not just fishes!)._ > [@OP](#): > > There have been threads before on lame super powers, but what about super powers that, if they were real, would be dangerous to those who wield them? Usually it takes more than one post before people stop reading the OP. Cyclops can’t even open his eyes without doing terrible damage unless he’s wearing a ruby visor; I assume his ocular rays would destroy his own flesh if he looked at himself unprotected. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/10 "2008-12-28T12:28:08Z")
> [@Baldwin](#): > > Usually it takes more than one post before people stop reading the OP. > > Cyclops can’t even open his eyes without doing terrible damage unless he’s wearing a ruby visor; I assume his ocular rays would destroy his own flesh if he looked at himself unprotected. Except his eyelids don’t burn off and he can close his eyelids to stop the ray. His skin has to be impervious to the ray. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/11 "2008-12-28T13:44:34Z")
I too loved _Misfits_. And I too had the same issue with the B-Man. Courtney Cox was so cute back then. It was a fun quirky show and I was sorry it was canceled so quickly. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/12 "2008-12-28T13:55:25Z")
Yes, both Cyclops and his brother are completely immune to each other’s powers, as well as their own. ---
**Author:** ![II\_Gyan\_II](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bbe5ce/32.png) [@II\_Gyan\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/II_Gyan_II)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/13 "2008-12-28T14:03:51Z")
Comic book invisibility, as opposed to real-life cloaking prototypes, implies real invisibility. So, do photons hitting the eyes pass through, or do they get absorbed as in real-life? In other words, can an invisible person see? ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/14 "2008-12-28T14:04:12Z")
> [@Baldwin](#): > > Cyclops can’t even open his eyes without doing terrible damage unless he’s wearing a ruby visor; I assume his ocular rays would destroy his own flesh if he looked at himself unprotected. No, he and his brother Havok, are immune to their own powers, and each other’s (I’m not sure if the third brother, Vulcan, is the same way) - although in one universe (shown in Astonishing X-Men: Ghost Boxes 2) he worked out a way to use the concussive aspect of his optic rays to take his head off by banking it off a reflector, when he became suicidal. Beyond that, the only physical danger to him is the fact he could easily inadvertently destroy the supporting structures of the building he’s in and be crushed. On the other hand there’s the psychological aspect of the fact that he and Alex are the only people, or structures, on earth immune to his abilities, so he needs to wear his visor at all times to avoid accidentally killing everyone else. Which is a much more common harm for characters with passive powers - having to take special precautions so as to not to harm the people you care about or even those you just don’t actively want to hurt, or destroying your - and other people’s - possessions. That’s got to mess with a person. ---
**Author:** ![Properties\_of\_Iron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7cd45c/32.png) [@Properties\_of\_Iron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Properties_of_Iron)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/15 "2008-12-28T14:16:31Z")
Well, the Riddler’s quirk, while not necessarily a superpower, is pretty much by definition dangerous to his own well being. Most of his crimes would be near perfect if he didn’t feel the pathological need to leave his riddles. ---
**Author:** ![chromaticity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@chromaticity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chromaticity)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/16 "2008-12-28T14:17:23Z")
This reminds me of [this place](http://thesuperest.com/). Awesomely weak superpowers that are constantly being superseded. Although matter-eater lad would get my vote any time. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/17 "2008-12-28T14:46:28Z")
I always thought super-speed was a rather bad concept… You couldn’t touch anything, because the impact of your super-accelerated fingers with whatever you wanted to touch would shatter your bones. ---
**Author:** ![Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Licentious_Ectomorph)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/18 "2008-12-28T16:27:28Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > This is true, but usually when people speak of having “The Midas Touch” they’re talking about having l33t Business Acumen or something. Thus, you’d have a superhero with an _actual_ Midas Touch (“Fear my Golden Fist of Doom, Evildoer!”) who discovers- as did the original Midas, way back in the day- that it’s actually a gigantic pain in the ass and not nearly as cool as it sounds. 😉 There was a Marvel villain named Midas with exactly that power, though he could control it. I remember having an issue of “Iron Man” with Midas as the villain when I was a kid in the 1970s…no idea if he ever appeared after that. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/19 "2008-12-28T16:36:23Z")
> [@Baldwin](#): > > Usually it takes more than one post before people stop reading the OP. Eh. **Nobody** cares. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948/20 "2008-12-28T17:00:24Z")
I see that there are some posters who thoroughly read the OP and have posted about powers that would be dangerous to the user if real, so I’m cool.😃 > [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](#): > > Even if he manages to somehow get around that (like, maybe he can’t have water externally but if he drinks through a straw he’s okay?) at the very least he’s not going to have much of a social life, given that without bathing he’s going to smell fairly rank. :eek: Great point. And I wonder what would happen when he sweat. > [@Khadaji](#): > > I too loved _Misfits_. And I too had the same issue with the B-Man. Courtney Cox was so cute back then. It was a fun quirky show and I was sorry it was canceled so quickly. I sometimes think it would be great if they remade it today, but then I wonder if part of its charm is that it was a product of the 80’s. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/poorly-thought-out-superpowers/478948.md?page=2)